bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №79987
 09.04.2013
Sometimes guests are the only thing that makes us keep the house in order.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №79986
 09.04.2013
Quite often employers seriously adorn working conditions in the company: a tight office becomes cozy, 10-hour slavery turns into a flexible schedule, and white in the salary is only the envelope in which it was brought.

[ + 31 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №79985
 09.04.2013
I spoke once with a girl. Three brothers, a look. But with grammar, she had big tricks. And here she always used in correspondence the word "scuzi". I could not understand what it was for a long time, I began to experience it - I received the answer: "Well, scuzzi, what do you not understand?" " and a sincere surprise from her. In the end, after some time I got to it - it was she who spoke and wrote "excuse me".

You won’t believe it, but "scusi" is in Italian. So, it didn’t seem that the girl had trolls.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №79984
 09.04.2013

Alena
To be honest, the longer they don’t give, the more I suck my libido and the less I want sex.
Melt, I think any solitary botanist would just be upset by the fact that we have beautiful normal girls who are ready to fuck do not give their own guys as they should.

July
Therefore, to such as us, few people rattle, get acquainted, etc. Because on the outside it seems that we, naturally, have boys or lovers, who trick us like sided goats!And that we fall asleep with a member inside and wake up with it.

[ + 42 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №79983
 09.04.2013
What kind of shit does it go after midnight?
Shame: The New Tariff "Cinderella"

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №79982
 09.04.2013
About the Galaxy S4:
With Samsung Smart Scroll, you no longer need to scroll documents by touching the screen. Just keep reading, overlapping the pages, bending the GALAXY S4 forward and backward.

It is immediately apparent that the creators of the phone do not ride a bus. The bus crashed on the light, and the book rolled 50 pages forward. It is comfortable, fucking :)

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №79981
 09.04.2013
I bought three shirts.
She: Uriah has new nights.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №79980
 09.04.2013
Comments on the program on the router:
Why is my interface language English? What did I wrong?
I did not learn English.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №79979
 09.04.2013
YYY: Google, eat and listen to it :)
XXX is already. The youth.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №79978
 09.04.2013
of April. It was cold again by evening. We go on the street.
and slide! What is winter? and ;-)
No... the spring. But the farmer is still celebrating, shit.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №79977
 09.04.2013
Ipad, of course, is a brand, but it immediately falls out of "no-no-cable", that is, nothing will be poured into it humanly.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №79976
 09.04.2013
Russian Post: We apologize, we cause inconvenience

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №79975
 09.04.2013
Why hasn’t anyone invented a perforator? The inventor would be stunned! I would buy a couple for my neighbor.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №79974
 09.04.2013
Compilation of comments to the post of the publisher "Typical Programmer":
1st Search in Google "Software to create games for free without SMS"
2nd disappointed
Three Start studying Pascal
4 is You program, but after a while you get disappointed.
5 is Start studying C#
6 is Programming is
7 is disappointed
8 is Start learning C++
9 is Programming is
10 is disappointed
11 is Start studying Haskell
12 is Start studying higher mathematics.
Thirteen Programming is
14 is disappointed
15 is Cut your hair and go to a Buddhist monastery.
16 is Return to
17th Just program for your pleasure.
18 is And you have already hit 40, you are bearded, but bald.
19 is Without resources to exist, start writing websites in PHP
20 is Learn JavaScript and CSS.
21 is Prepare to go to a different world.
22nd Suddenly your website is becoming popular.
23nd You get a lot of money.
24 is You die scrupulously.
26 is You are rebirthing, and the cycle is resuming, only now you are the grandson of Gates. O_O
27 is Continued programming
28 is The hopelessness
29 is Teaching students Pascal

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №79973
 09.04.2013
And yet, did you not notice that the same stories, say, in the Old Testament and the Moscow Komsomolsk are perceived very differently? In spite of sometimes complete story identity.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №79972
 09.04.2013
<VV> and also me for something in the Sabbath the Jewish god punished
<VV> I put the car at the food store
<VV> I leave in 10 minutes - the driver's side, which to the road, all of the birds covered
<VV> I couldn’t believe that there could be jokes there
<VV> on the sides looked - and there some fool, crossing the road straight in front of the car, a pack of mayonnaise lost.
<VV> and another fool passed by him
<VV> now I have a car that your salad - with mayonnaise
<VV> the whole bowl

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №79971
 09.04.2013
Lettering with my brother, both do nothing at work
Brother: Also nothing to do?
I: here I sit in the configurator S8 Audi pick up for myself) (start price from 6 million rubles)
The oil will be eaten.
Do not take...

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №79970
 09.04.2013
The release of the role-playing game Torment: Tides of Numenera, which was originally scheduled for December 2014, is postponed. This is due to the Kickstarter users who donated too much money to the game.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №79969
 09.04.2013
I, from childhood surrounded only by doctors of sciences, considered myself a very intelligent and subtly sensitive lady.
And here, sitting on a manicure in the salon, I watched the show "Let's get married", where the host said to the heroine about the following: "You have to marry someone who makes you feel protected...

Madam, right in essence. But how can you talk shamelessly about your own intelligence, especially if you write "sitting on a manicure" and confuse the words "marry" and "marry"?

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №79968
 09.04.2013
I never liked the phrase "to have a child".
Well, brother, you are now a future dad. Late to drink borjomi))
HH: No, I’m not about that. You can have a puppy there, cat... And with a man, it’s blasphemy!
Then say that you "are expecting a child" :)
HH: Not that either.
We sit like this and wait... And he, the infection is swirling somewhere in the wombs.
Q: Are there other options?
No brother, I am not your assistant. My grandfather found me in the cabbage :)

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