bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №79807
 06.04.2013
Yesterday a friend came to visit, well, in the process of conversation it turned out that he had holy water on the balcony and at minus 20 it did not freeze, but only became cold. The Holy Water does not freeze.
Or I was spending on the freezing and it smells!

Unfortunately, it has nothing to do with holiness. If the water is very clean (or rather even distilled) and stands in a bowl with perfectly smooth walls, then it may just be overcooled water. Under such conditions, the water does not freeze because there are no crystallization centers from which it could freeze. Just warn your acquaintance not to put your hands in her. His arm will instantly become the centre of crystallization and in a fraction of a second will freeze into the ice.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №79806
 06.04.2013
I am writing with my wife in Ashka. Then she didn’t answer something for a long time and I decided to write “Where are you?” but I went through the window and wrote to a colleague sitting at the opposite table. He looks shaken behind the monitor and so quietly: “I’m here... I had to explain that the sober...

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №79805
 06.04.2013
XXX: And prescribed a pressant to stifle the nerve
xxx: I drank it and on the 2nd day I got hysterical :)
YYY: This is how
I went to the toilet in the morning.
XXX: I had a panic attack.
XXX: I feel that everything is very scary.
XXX: Then the head turned.
XXX: Then it was funny.
Yyy: a cool thing
XX: I’m not saying that the potency is gone.
I drank for two days.
I stopped drinking, after a few days it all went away.
Is it sold by recipe?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №79804
 05.04.2013
<egundan> When my dog was lost, it existed for some time in the form of a distribution of probability density across our area.
<egundan> Then it was found, and became virtually a Dirac function.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №79803
 05.04.2013
Dialogue with my mother in the kitchen.
To wash the dishes?
Wash if you want.
I: What if I don’t want?
Wash it anyway.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №79802
 05.04.2013
When he lived in the shelter at 5th grade, a beemoto-like creature weighing under 200 kg entered our room. I ate for six, and constantly.On one day, I wake up to work around six in the morning. I see in the darkness that this bomb car sits on a chair and is silent. Well I think it might get the strength of the shob to fill the gut again. I took a shower, shaved myself, and went to work. I come back in the evening, the painting is still, the student is sitting and silent. I say "pups, what are you sitting down, what is sad?".Put out "I want to eat". My hair is dumb "also, the car of the car of the sacrifice was transmitted, what do you not eat?". And he's waiting, a friend from work, he has a microwave, or his mom forbids cold eating. She almost killed herself with a spammy.
Dear parents, if your child has enrolled in the institute (PTU,technicum,no matter) and settles in the community, please teach him at least elementary to heat food, prepare eggs, pasta, soup, etc. And it will suffocate with hunger if a friend left home on the weekend:)))

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №79801
 05.04.2013
I worked in the office for half a year. And in half a year I communicated with admin through asks and applications. Handheld such a sysadmin, if something falls, then he quickly puts everything. And he and I often talked about the girls and their “right-sightedness” in the technical field. So I had to go to the admin and hand over the documents. So I went in... and swallowed. When I entered the adminsk there was a girl there. Girl of Odin! In the end, I stopped talking about girls and technology, and she still reminds me of the case.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №79800
 05.04.2013
1 (08:56:04 5/04/2013)
The 29th daughter was born.
Tanja (08:56:30 5/04/2013)
With you?
1 (08:56:42 5/04/2013)
Natasha is mainly
1 (08:56:47 5/04/2013)
But I also have

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №79799
 05.04.2013
Fuck the weather, you can ride on the rollers, you can break your hands, but there are no travelers!! to

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №79798
 05.04.2013
A pack of LM's please.
Which one?
With the cancers.
...??? to
between stroke and infertility.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №79797
 05.04.2013
Smoking was a joke.
Two girls from the neighboring office are communicating, one says, "I stumble when I see mosquitoes, they are big, they have dull eyes and you don't understand what they have in mind."

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №79796
 05.04.2013
Lviv operators in the MTS joked somehow. Very often subscribers (A) hooliganize by calling the operator (O). And to clarify the problem of the subscriber you need to ask clarification questions, which the operators used (translated immediately into Russian).
A - Hi, I want to download the naked grandmother from the internet, and I can't do anything. (Hitching into the tube)
A - Hi, let's clarify: you want to download the naked grandmother from the internet and you do not get anything or you downloaded the naked grandmother from the internet and you do not get anything.

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №79795
 05.04.2013
They jerked with their "unattainable" tank advertising. Go to Fuck.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №79794
 05.04.2013
How badly these little shops: when you hang a paper with the inscription '' break 15 minutes', write at what time it started, or get the impression that I am the only lamb that comes to the store within a second after the advertisement.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №79793
 05.04.2013
It is not scary when you try to plug the flash drive into the HDMI port. It was scary when I hit...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №79792
 05.04.2013
XXX: I jumped on the phone with all the sounds. There is a wolf. Connect the columns and include them.
XXX: The Boogie
YYY: Who to scare?? to
XXX: The Neighbors
xxx: shrink, shrink
YYY: What is it?
xxxx: throwing, knocking, robbing something all the time
The neighbors above are small.
The feeling that he falls at night.
XXX: run, fucking, and falling
XXX: And he gets rid of it.
XXX: Head to the floor

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №79791
 05.04.2013
From the Classics:
status girl ' I get bored at home alone, you want to invite'
Come to us alone, I am in the army. There is not a lot of boring here.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №79790
 05.04.2013
Every self-respecting astrophysicist should wear a dark matter suit.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №79789
 05.04.2013
I work at the MTS call center. With the coming to this work, there is no limit to human stupidity.
Example of:
I don’t have the internet! Your company is stealing me! You have money, but there is no internet.
Have you tried to restart the computer? The SIM card was removed from the modem?
Should the SIM card be inserted in the modem? I thought it was a gift...
This is one of the most innocent conversations.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №79788
 05.04.2013
If Gogol had lived today, he would have written about Milonov’s story “The Brain.”

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