bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №79727
 04.04.2013
When a boy is born in a family, the state does not help to raise him and learn. But when his parents grow up and teach him by his own strength, he must for some reason immediately pay the debt to the state. I wonder when did he get into debt?

Do not forget that from birth a child is a sin, because conception itself is a sin.
So not only should, but also be cursed in advance :D

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №79726
 04.04.2013
XXX is:
Do mobile phones take away passers?

YYY :
He is not a good man.)

XXX is:
Q. Do you want to call me?
No, I do not want.
What about it?"

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №79725
 04.04.2013
We are undergoing repair work at the entrance. In the evening I go home, the workers stand and here is this dialogue:
Q: Girl and who is the oldest on the entrance?
I: And what then? Well, I (and I have to say that we do not have that in mind, said in a joke)
You have to decide what color to paint the walls.
How in an orange! or pink, but if in pink then such acid pink. (I went home and forgot about it.)
I go out in the morning and can’t believe my eyes. The walls are painted in bright orange color, tear your eyes out!

A - I am standing
B - at the same time I do not rju
I understand that I have a pizza, because the tenants will remember me every day at least twice.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №79724
 04.04.2013
A friend is looking for work:
One is Guy! I invented! I want to be a cook!
No, I thought I just wanted to eat.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №79723
 04.04.2013
Comments on the film:

xxx: I went with a child 24 years old, she very liked said that very colorful cartoon)))))

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №79722
 04.04.2013
xxx: I go out of the theater - a boy stands, all on the pants, the phone in the hands turns, so that everyone the apple more noticeable. I pass by, I say (loud enough) "pff, three" and I leave. You would see his face.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №79721
 04.04.2013
Review of the Kia Soul:

Economics is monstrous. One day, on the Lukoil to the full (right through the throat), I tricked the check to pour into the 48-litre tank 51(!!!) liters, provided that when the lamp was refuelled, the remaining fuel had not yet burned.

Comment: It's not you cheated, but Lukoil is so funny.)

[ + 27 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №79720
 04.04.2013
By the way, here are you, lovers of crazy the 5th or some other iPhone there: I am surprised that you are flying, you will recognize them at a distance! ))) I don’t have an iPhone, I didn’t have it, I won’t fuck it, so I don’t know how it should look and I won’t distinguish it from any smartphone, especially at a distance.
And you are the specialists, as I look at it, we look at it, the patamusta is so fashionable today, and you are quietly jealous, the poor?)))

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №79719
 04.04.2013
Precaution, do you say? A colleague, before sending unnecessary papers to the garbage, fitted them with a stepler.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №79718
 04.04.2013
Will you love me if I get stupid?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №79717
 04.04.2013
Students were drinking in the center. They drank beer with vodka because students and money was not enough. There were no cells. I called a local student from the automate. and transitionally.
His story for the next day:
1 call: (the guys are fun but still adequate) Sanya, where you can sit in the center.
2 calls: (the guys are hard to put the slogs into words) Sanya...... this...... try to buckle with us...
3 calls: saaaa......ik......ne... smile...aula...... brewaal (short slides)
4 calls: (no one can say anything, in the tube a loud singing and zero emotions on my alley)
5 call: Alexander, you are bothered by a lieutenant like that from the Verkhisetsky shaker, we have picked up your friends here. Do you want to pay a penalty for them?

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №79716
 04.04.2013
Talk on the topic "if I divorce - I will not marry twice"

XXX: The T-shirt is trained. Cocktails are fried too. Sex after marriage is less than before. The first wife is always new discoveries, and all that. It’s like a very long RPG. Persia was one. Others might have played, but from scratch to pump.)

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №79715
 04.04.2013
I was on the metro half an hour ago. In the area of the Black River comes a grandfather in a fishing costume of the 60s. What is striking is sober. He sits down to me and begins to condemn my appearance (I dress brightly), scream about a new foolish generation, and so on. He breathed out, asking my headphones to appreciate "what the current generation is listening to". Imagine Dragons is Radioactive. Grandpa just took it. He started shaking his head, making strange sounds. Taking the motive and the word "Radioactive" began to sack it on the whole wagon, inserting phrases from the category "This is ahhewennoooo!and "
The whole car was up to the lake. Filmed in video. If you are on YouTube, it will be nice. Good mood for the whole day.

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №79714
 04.04.2013
I have a tooth of wisdom climbing. hurt =( And I can't open my mouth wide =( I'm now a dysfunctional wife XD
YYY: So you can’t do it normally?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №79713
 04.04.2013
I read the title of the advertisement:
"Intimate and personal photos of porn stars".
Who will tell, and how?

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №79712
 04.04.2013
I am diminishing you.
Sirion: Please do not diminish me!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №79711
 04.04.2013
The favourite is sitting behind the comp, playing. I sit down to him, embrace him. For a few seconds, he turns to me, glossing his hair, tapping them behind his ears. You have such funny ears, you look like an elephant! It immediately turns around and releases: "I hate elves..." :D

[ + 41 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №79710
 04.04.2013
Terioll: A audiobook teaching drawing... how?
Raellyn: You see, you are an artist
Terioll: This is where I am degenerating. A dance about how to sing and opera "Programming in Java"?

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №79709
 04.04.2013
Twenty-eight: Some preachers went in and said, “Let me read you a verse about the fearlessness of God!
I read them a lyric of fearlessness from the Dune, they remembered and quietly left.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №79708
 04.04.2013
Well in Siberia in the summer - a whole month there is no snow!!! to

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