xxx: The iPhone can change the center of gravity when it falls. This will avoid damage to the most fragile parts of the device during the impact.
In order to shift the center of gravity, a container of compressed gas may be integrated into the device, which is activated at the moment of the fall.
yyy: if the gas is pepper then the second application of the iPhone opens
YYY: guys gathered to smoke on the staircase - once throwed their iPhone under their feet
The main thing is not to jump.
zzz: jumped from the taboo - and he shot in the pants

In America, even dead presidents are always smiling.

We had an announcement with a friend in the city. At 3 o'clock in the evening, we are already tired of donelzia, there are somewhere else 10. I stand, I have a hose with a clayster in my hands, my friend has a paintbrush. We stand, we lay, we lay. Suddenly from behind the voice - A voooooot who sticks the pillars with advertising!!! I only turn around, there are two hoppers standing, I see they want something. The friend does not pay attention to them, sticking to the announcement. One of them after reading the text (from the moment of the voice 5 seconds passed), screams loudly: Molodci!!! and pulls his companion by the sleeve, they go with a barrel of barrel. Text of the announcement: A set in the section of kickboxing is published.
Z is. Half-weight Master of Sports

Girls, don’t get offended by goats! You have to shut down the garden in the garden...

The city said that the traffic jams were the fault of motorists (ECB Stail)

The xxx:
1st "Chanson of the Year"
The Kremlin Palace
with the support of the Ministry of Culture.

I cannot combine these three words together. Two can, but there are three... No words.

YYYY :
With the support of the puppy

It’s still a shit... Remember, in Barbuda
I saw a sign on the bus: Barnaul-
Hooted...

Go down more, you are the short-sighted Hueta, and there is the Quetta!

If the taxes were paid in Russia all working citizens, pensions could be increased by 1.5 times - Olga Golodets.

If you submit anything from the office of Olga Golodets, the mono will double GDP. and Anonymous.

He was in the Tax Inspectorate.
It turned out that I tried to cheat the state for 800 rubles,
But he was exposed and sent home with shame to rework the declaration.
How do people spend billions?
I do not understand.

I have always liked the creative approach of technicians. I have one acquaintance. The astrophysicist. What they do in the laboratory besides work, and what they do outside it, I am personally upset. I don’t think that can come to mind to an ordinary person. It’s from the same series as the idea of flying at the speed of light, refrigerators. Here, do you know how you can bring the airport security service to hysteria and be completely innocent? They were flying to observe a solar eclipse. Departure from Domodedovo. My friend took a piece of foil and cut a gun out of it according to the exact sizes. I put it in the notebook, put it in the backpack and put the backpack on the tape. Follow this dialogue.
Young man, what do you have in your backpack?
Nothing, books, notebook and notebooks.
I have a gun on the screen. This toy?
There is nothing there.
Open the backpack. Without sudden movements.
The staff of the SB approaches and surrounds. They nervous.
Well here please. There is nothing here.
The officer inspects things, finds nothing suspicious and asks why to put the backpack on the tape again.
Young man, what are you mocking? Look at the monitor. This is what, fucking, is it?
Maybe your equipment is broken?
Now you break up.
In short, the officer fell into a state of altered consciousness. A friend soon admitted and said that he had such a foil layer.
In short, physicists are driving. All from April 1.

The fun incident happened on the third day :)
A younger accountant, a blonde in the shower and in life, was instructed to have a bank client. Even without opening the instructions given to her in the bank, she relocates the task to the IT department. Well, herrrrr with you - I'm going to generate a certificate well and everything there depends. In order to make the certificate - you need a FIO on whom, a phone (where the PIN codes are rolled), soap, well, for the little things like INN, etc. Well, FIO gave the wrong employee, it happens. How did you get a left-hand phone? Generally the Left! The publicity. At the question subsequently - and what is this phone followed the answer: - Well, when he was dictated by Andrew, I first wanted to indicate my own, but then changed my mind and called the phone of the accountant.
The first four digits of yours, the other four digits of the headbook. Wait for SMS.

Today on the planner, the chief engineer gives instructions to the chief mechanic:
- It is necessary to make a list of units where the same equipment fails too often. All, the candy-flower period with them is over, it is time to move to more active actions.
I’ve never heard of such an honest order of fucking. =) is

In the refrigerator it was dark, deserted, cold... And only a small mouse under the freezer quietly and sadly sang something, the master of the rope loop.
Mouse in feathers: what Berezovsky reminded me of...

I remember being a student at the end of the 90s, standing with a friend in line, money only for bread and milk. We are counting three wallets. A woman standing behind me leaned toward us and said quietly:
Are you not falling down?
Looking under your feet - there is a 500 ruble note.
I had already opened my mouth to honestly say that it was not us, as my friend's elbow flew to my side, so that the whole spirit came out of me and the tears turned to my eyes. And my friend cheats that, say, we are so stretchy and bla-bla-bla, thank you. I go out of the store and I feel awkward.
- I saw your expression of the face, I immediately realized that you were gathered to crack, idiot, thank God I had time.
I still remember ?

I work as a trainer. Dialogue in class:
I: Write the topic. Primary and uncertain integrals.
Student: Is this something from the "Harry Potter and the Secret Room" series?

On the 1st of April, Peter went on. Record on the wall:

The sky:
Oh the earth! The whole surface is white. and ;)

The commentary:
Once upon a time the sky was so joke over the earth, and since then it has been rotating ;)

I went to a friend in Yekaterinburg. We sit in a taxi.
We are there somewhere...
Are you from Sverdlovsk?
No, from Yekaterinburg.
Taxi driver: 200 rubles
What if they were from Swarovski?
Taxi driver: then 100!

The node is separate. I am pregnant with terrible toxicosis, I leave the toilet after another attack, apologies, vomiting, and on the way to the bathroom to rinse, I machine-wipe my mouth with my hand. When a 3-year-old nephew of his husband saw it, he was shocked and asked, “What did you eat there?”!" O_O

The first television images of the Earth from the first weather artificial satellite (53 years ago):

las68: And pretend, a photograph comes from space, and on it - a cube.

Or an elephant with a whale :-)

The phrase of the day (the employee said today): “I don’t know anything... I’ve only worked here for 2 years.”