Everyone once was drunk, don’t raise this topic anymore!
I am all, silent
Is it better in front or behind?
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Tag: from behind

I want a house on the ocean shore.
Why Why?
That the fools surround me only from three sides.

Reaction of the ionizer:

It looks great next to the monitor :)
Disadvantages: I don't know if it works

Comments on the video of the tornado from Sochi:

This damned aliens are stealing our water! All the conscience lost, green cheeks)))

The received money (100%) is desirable to be distributed in this proportion: 50% - to sacrifice for a good cause, 25% - to postpone for unexpected expenses, 10% to needy relatives and 15% - to spend on yourself.

WOW: I have 50% to pay for public services. Is it considered a good thing?

You are helping someone to buy a third villa.

Love is when you know for sure that your wife is stupid, but you hide it from her for a lifetime.

We and the guys rushed to the gay parade and Serega acted like a real friend he said Run guys I’ll hold them back.

Dialogue with a girl on the subject of physical culture in the university.
I want to do something like aerobics. You can several times a week. Not easy and not an athlete.
It’s called sex, and I’m at your service :D

One of the first computer systems of U.S. air defense (the 1960s) in the first duty raised the alarm, assuming the moon rising from beyond the horizon as an enemy missile, as this "object" was approaching the territory of the U.S. and did not give signals that it was "your"

And was it not stated further that this happened because of the mistake of a man who put the maximum altitude of danger instead of 600 kilometers in 6 million kilometers?

I ended up with his unseen shower gel, used mine - with the smell of chocolate. We roll, we press, he smells of me), then his hand:
You’re chocolate, and I’m now chocolate, fun!
And so proudly:
You’re just chocolate and I’m chocolate with nuts.

Jk: I have a fly on the monitor, as if I understand what shit I’m writing.

You just need to push the press.
Deffachka: You press something on your legs and start
Deffachka: until the stomach hurts
Dexter: it does not hurt yet.
Deffachka: another catch
Only the legs hurt.
Deffachka: It’s OK
In the place where I put them in the couch.

The Orthodox Church warns: Reading the Bible leads to atheism!

I set up a taxpayer.
What is usually written on the check?
Any joke out there...

My wife told me.
In the kindergarten of the son in the group holiday is the Day of the Family.
The teacher asks the mother and son questions alternately so that they do not hear each other's answers, and then the mother must guess how the son replied? I asked my mother:
What is your favorite dish and how do you call it at home?
The wife answers:
He loves kindergarten surprises. I call him a cat, a rabbit.
What the teacher answers:
Not so... think again. Your son answered differently.
The Wife:
Amy...?! to
The Educator:
Gastronomic answers :)
The Wife:
O O O O? !! by! to
It turns out that the son loves potatoes with meat (a delight – and then how?). As for the loving nicknames, he admitted that his house is called "Bulochka" and "Sosiska".
Such a contagious laughter from the other parents had never been heard before.

She bought a cream, gave a candle as a gift. What to do with her...?
He: Go home, I’m going to snowboard!

You won’t believe what picture I saw today at 8am.
Olya:???????????????????????and.
Svetlana: in the fucking drunk GUSAR (!!!) She sits at the stop and the white horse eats the grass behind her!!!!..
Svetlana: in addition to everything else the Kazakh GUSAR))))))))))))))))))))))))

Today in the office, I was not allowed to sleep only by the choking of the boss, and that is true. and. and.

The world has changed...
It is almost unrealistic to buy a simple black shirt without wheels, cuts, screws and "it is fashionable".
It turns out, it is already a problem to find a simple chair on wheels with a tough high back. Now there are more modern models, they can almost lie in. Try this chair."
And... Oh my God... When trying to find a new battery for your favorite Nokia 3310 phone, you are viewed as an alien from the Middle Ages.
As was said in one beautiful film, from the same "Medieval": "I want a simple human cocktail for 12 kopecks!"

Happy: Do you also have a cat at home?
Alexander: at home too))) almost 10 kilos he weighs, it's really he has lost weight already)))
Happiness: how did you eat it? for killing?
I didn’t know he would grow up like that ?
Happy: Have you tried to take a cat on a date?))
Emily, how is it? And a naphira?
Happy: Girls are delighted with hairy babysitters) Taking a cat on a date - the chances of sex increased dramatically!)) And the phrase "I have such a nice cat at home. Do you want to see?" you can get a girl home faster than the phrase "go to me to see a movie!"
Alexander: Something in this is, but you know, 10 kg with you do not get especially, especially if you go for a walk in the city)
Happiness: The more a cat, the more charisma it has!)
Lucky: Competition can be made only nursing cats looking out of the pocket.
How funny it would be to look at.)
Happy: A small rat-like creature, by mistake named a dog, looking out of a woman’s bag – that’s what’s funny. And a cute guy, sports body with a ten-kilogram cat underarm - it is brutal, creative and unbeatable!) I would meet you.)
Alexander: achumet, well you said))) over will be like a thread to try what))))
Alexander: but the cat doesn’t especially like the street.
This is not how you raised the cat, Sasha.