bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №78647
 13.03.2013
"Hello, this problem was drawn, I am on a holiday in Vietnam, when the tablet turns dark the screen to zero.It happens such a miracle only in the day in the bright sun, in the evening and in the morning everything is okay.(nexus7 wifi 16 hyogenmod)

Money for vacation in Vietnam and a plan has been found. And the brains to remove the polarization glasses are not. Where does the peace go?

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №78646
 13.03.2013
xxx: During the training, held on February 24 in the open sea, five mammals equipped with individual firearms took part. Three dolphins, despite the precautions taken, left the area.
The Ukrainian military lost three combat dolphins in the open sea. They also lost firearms attached to their heads.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? and :)
xxx: not
All reasonable mammals are taken out of Ukraine at the first opportunity. Why should Dolphins be an exception?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №78645
 13.03.2013
Allo is?
(with a loud voice) Hello!
The vetal? Is it you, or is it not you, but a zombie?
- Until you asked, I was sure it was me, but at the moment I thought...
Could you tell me, Arnold?
Why Why?
Let’s call it an experiment.
and ARRRRRRRR!
It is yours, man! You are a zombie!! to
Fuck, I knew it.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №78644
 13.03.2013
A man meets a girl. Together they buy a cake, and then she with the cake goes to himself, and he to himself. Such warm, sincere, human relationships.

[ + 52 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №78643
 13.03.2013
I have instructed many of my male colleagues to give me a hand to greet me with the simple phrase: “Are you just pleased to touch men?”

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №78642
 13.03.2013
We do not respect those who write programs, but those who break them.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №78641
 13.03.2013
I will add you to the chosen ones! You are a genius! Cheesecake and good luck! Definitely 10/10 for a story!

I will be excited, I will buy a house in Cuba, and I will welcome the morning with a great cigar and another portion of whisky. I will completely abandon the Scripture, and the outlines of the morning clouds, with a light golden dawn, will remind me only of the buttocks of my adorers. No of romance.
Not to be praised (

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №78640
 13.03.2013
Fuck, today I dreamed of a fucking nightmare... as if my current and former live together at home, but in different rooms and about the existence of each other do not know and I try to trick them, do not cross between them. Sometimes I run from one room to another!!! to

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №78639
 13.03.2013
I don’t seem happy here...
What are you! Let me show you the way out?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №78638
 13.03.2013
Dialogue with my girlfriend (D)
Q: What are my favorite flowers?
You do not like flowers.
D: Well a "if it"?

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №78637
 13.03.2013
LGeo
Do you think an insect sucked into the lungs is considered eaten?
DIZZ
Insects sucked into the lungs are considered to be skinny.
LGeo
accounting

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №78636
 13.03.2013
Bar-Ash: Do you know the joke about academic Solomon Josefovich Livenstein and the anti-universe?
Hm: Tell the Barracks
Bar-Ash: I will tell you
Bar-Ash: In short, academic Solomon Yosifich Livenstein invented such an apparatus that opened him the passage to the anti-universe. He entered the anti-universe and found himself at the anti-forest. I went on an antitropin and saw an antitropin on the anti-tumor.
Bar-Ash: He opens the anti-explosion door, and there is an anti-Semite sitting behind the anti-table
by Bar-Ash
Bar-Ash: The End
_d4vid: lol
hm : )
by Bar-Ash ))
Q: And then it was.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №78635
 13.03.2013
Communication with the head of the office:
N: What do you have on the server "4dolboyob" scheme?
I: And this is a sandbox for developers. For you, by the way, there is also an account.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №78634
 12.03.2013
XXX is
My users have now invented a new protocol.
XXX is
It is called TCP/USB.
XXX is
Only they invented the hardware part, but they did not think of any wood.
YYYY
Am... I haven’t even heard of that.
XXX is
Here I am, and they are clever, fools.
XXX is
USB printer cable in the network port.
XXX is
Are you surprised that it doesn’t work?
XXX is
I would be surprised if he made it.
XXX is
What if I was in Aachen.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №78633
 12.03.2013
I started somehow playing the multiplayer starcraft, and then on몸의 기적 변򅺄 달려, 눈이 범위를 좁힐 시황, 10 배 빠른 실행하기 씹해 키Ǣዥ300에서 손. 그러결 그건 사실이 아니&##50556;, &##50500;무것도 변경 없다 단지점점 밥을 먹고 애니메션을 감상했다!!! to
(ღ˘⌣˘ღ) ( ̄ー ̄) (☆▽☆)

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[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №78632
 12.03.2013
A guy with a girl:
I am from Belarus.
P is cool. I know a Belarusian.
D: I am a lot...

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №78631
 12.03.2013
Announcement of work in a newspaper of a city level of the district center.

The "Italian restaurant" requires a chef of Japanese cuisine.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №78630
 12.03.2013
From Habr.

According to officials, some Gmail users are dissatisfied with the fact of analyzing their emails.

And the officials have no information about the fact that some users are dissatisfied with the officials? and :)

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №78629
 12.03.2013
The election of a new Pope.

Artem: Who do you think will be the dad?
Vasily: Don’t be afraid of me.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №78628
 12.03.2013
Sometimes we meet such people.
For example, there are people who are so busy with life or work that they have no free time. And only in the weekend can be 10 minutes, just 10 minutes. It is 9-10 in the morning.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna