bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №78847
 17.03.2013
XXX: We are going to play! The stone! Their movement.
YYY: I am going! The Cross, the Cross!
zzz: E2 and E4!
I have a full house!
XXX is Reiki!
ZZZ: Three of them! and bingo!
Turn the drum!
XX: Well, then I have four Canyons.

[ + 52 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №78846
 17.03.2013
XXX: I propose to submit a bill: all drivers in the half of the front glass must have a sign indicating where, where and why it is driving
YYY: And I suggest forbidding driving if you are in the car alone. Let for yourself a whole car ride, so much space on the road to occupy!
ZZZ: And the trucks to drive only loaded, empty truck does not bring any benefit to anyone, and takes place.
ZZZ: A taxi driver, when driving without a customer, is obliged to turn on the counter and pay for such a trip himself.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №78845
 17.03.2013
Grandma Karamylo: No, of course I knew I wasn’t a very interesting interlocutor, but in two branches of the forum with wild trolling and a ton of posts, after my messages there was no answer.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №78844
 17.03.2013
XXX: What did I hurt you?
YYY: It doesn’t matter...
XXX: Well, I need to know so that it doesn’t happen again.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №78843
 17.03.2013
All of this:
Two hours in traffic jams on the way to the gym... to hunt on a bike trainer.
Fuck you in Moscow.

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №78842
 17.03.2013
I put in a bowl, full.
At the end of the water, at the end of
of concentration. and brother
It is said that "Be careful.
Frodo, turn the mirror.
Galadriel and the entire Middle-earth
End of the day!"Hochot, loose, curtains.

[ + 47 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №78841
 17.03.2013
I decided to take out the garbage, in view of natural laziness, just threw a long black coat straight above the cowards.I see, near the garbage pipeline, some rejected soul (year 13-14) spills its thoughts straight on the wall, something about the mouth, jewel and Masha of 366 square meters.He notices me: in the cowards, in the coat, unbarred, with a black bag, from where some incomprehensible fool drops.I say with an absolutely calm voice:- I will first rape you, and then kill you.
Judging by the speed he jumped over the stairs, the boy really believed me.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №78840
 17.03.2013
A twin sister, a schoolgirl, told how a math teacher usually comes in the middle of the lesson, gives a bunch of homework, with parents to decide (so he says!) And he leaves.

It seems that soon the Ministry of Education will officially allow teachers to speak "hz, gougli".

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №78839
 17.03.2013
Zloradskij: And how difficult is it to betray the pashlens to sinful interspecies crossings? I think: potatoes are pastel, tomatoes too, and cards. The bottle drops into the atmosphere is useless for the national economy, and the root of the tomato, on the contrary, occupies the underground habitat. Wouldn’t it be appropriate to combine?
anima_atra: Usually such tricks on the human side end in the creation of a hybrid, the bottom of which is from tomatoes, and the top of which is from potatoes. and :)
Zloradskij: Something unobtrusively reminds us of the attempts to build democracy in Russia.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №78838
 17.03.2013
In Russian, Monday, Tuesday and Thursday are male, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday are female, and Sunday are middle.

Oh, go explain to the Russians that in German the girl is of the middle class.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №78837
 17.03.2013
I talk to my brother.
I: Where have you been?
b: on the day of Gerasim's birth
Why did you bring back the gift?
B: Gerasim has not come.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №78836
 17.03.2013
This is the second such spring in a row. It was not necessary then to call her the "chumachech", she was offended and will now avenge until these two are burned on the Olive at the column of the rocks.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №78835
 17.03.2013
Video portal, news that Emma Watson (Hermione) will play the main role in the screenplay of the Erotic novel. One of the comments.

Semen Slipakov: 10 points for Gryffindor

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №78834
 17.03.2013
Age is when thoughts go away and don’t come back.

[ + 44 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №78833
 17.03.2013
How I Cure Chronic Headaches at the Age of 18 for a long time ))

At school, he suffered from migraines, and instead of playing football he sat in the library.
In view of the pain, I often ate pills and remembered the names of many and testimony well and naturally all gave advice what and what to treat. That’s why I was kindly called “the surgeon,” the “walking library.”
And here we after the 1st course of the radio-technical institute go to the first shabash to the Mogilevsky depth to concrete the floors in the cowboard. The men of the capital first went to dance, met the ladies and after work arranged sitting at the bench at the dormitory, I was naturally called a "surgeon", there were "Adik", "Gray", "Lehha". Nothing predicted an adventure, but one girl for 3 days came to the nursery with her grandmother. I have a headache for a week, what do I do? Not a scene like in the auditorium. citramone or sulfadymesine you will not do...
In libraries I read mostly fiction, but sometimes digested scientific and popular literature.Once in my hands came a book of the famous neurologist Uspensky, where the typical pathologies and simple ways to get rid of were described. MIGRENS are treated by taking the simplest vasodilator drug such as dibazole, papazole or papaverine...for 10 days take 10 times a day for 110 parts of the tablet. overall: migraine is treated with 1 package of the drug for 10 kopecks and the risks are minimal. The principle is to unlearn the vessels to spasm. Deleted memory spasm pain disappears. On myself then tried - helped even with hypotension - chronically low pressure.
The brigade is sitting on the bench and waiting for me to turn out, quietly rushing. I am telling the theory of D. Uspensky, the grandmother of Shamka thanked and departed.
A week passes, we come back from work - the hostel has a girl to a basket of chicken eggs from grandmother -HELP))) and with her neighbor...radiculitis. But this is a separate story.)

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №78832
 17.03.2013
How fast life flies! Even the youthful foolishness did not have time to get out, and the old age marasma has already arrived.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №78831
 17.03.2013
Phone call on March 9:
I : who?
Q: Where did you take my girlfriend?! to
5 Seconds of Silence – What?! to
Q: What are you chasing? We stood yesterday, you took my girlfriend into the entrance and didn’t go out!! to
Sorry, you are wrong with the apartment.
No mistake, I called the home phone yesterday, waited a couple of hours on the street, and you did not open! Where is she?!!! to
I: What is her name and who are you?
I don’t even remember the name!! (I hanged the phone)

O_O

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №78830
 17.03.2013
I read in one place that sneezing 10 times is almost the same as having an orgasm. Now I got sick with angina, sneezed for 10 minutes in a row, a feeling like I was brutally raped :(

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №78829
 17.03.2013
A friend of DJs in corporations works. A friend's day was scheduled and he agreed to help "for food") at the height of the celebration, one of the guests from the category "you know who my dad?" joined the controller and completely quietly without permission cut off the music and turned on his song. Satisfied with himself and his knowledge, he turns to my friend and says, “Well, now you will give me half of the fee.” Friend not long thinking: "Yes, go half cottage eat")))

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №78828
 17.03.2013
In the near future, the treatment of many chronic diseases will be colored with new colors, than the article on the Medical Portal delighted.

Australian scientists have proposed to treat Parkinson's disease with fecal transplants, reports New Scientist.
...
Fecals containing normal microflora will be collected from healthy donors. To inject fecal masses into the intestines of patients, the researchers intend to use a colonoscope or a enema, as well as a probe through the mouth or nose.
Borodie has already used fecal transplants to treat patients with constipation. At the same time, the scientist noted that patients reduced the severity of symptoms of the underlying disease, including Parkinsonism, multiple sclerosis, rheumatoid arthritis and chronic fatigue syndrome.

Do you still want to complain to your doctor or boss about chronic fatigue?


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