The poverty line should be moved in the opposite direction.

not from the first person, because not mine, found somewhere on the Internet, long time ago, I do not remember where, but liked:

A table in front of us. On the table is a glass and a fork. What do they do? The glass stands, and the fork lies. If we put the fork in the table, the fork will stand. Are the objects vertical and the objects are horizontal? Add a plate and a bowl to the table. They seem horizontal, but stand on the table. Now put the plate in the bowl. She was there, but she was on the table. Are the items ready for use? No, she was ready when she lay down.
A cat is on the table. She can stand, sit and lie. If in terms of standing and lying it somehow climbs into the "vertical-horizontal" logic, then sitting is a new property. She sits on the pope. A bird was on the table. She sits on the table, but sits on her feet, not on the pope. It seems to have to stand. But she cannot stand at all. But if we kill a poor bird and make a bite, it will stand on the table. It may seem that sitting is an attribute of the living, but the shoe on the foot is also sitting, although it is not alive and has no poop. Know what is standing, what is lying and what is sitting.
And we are also surprised that foreigners consider our language to be complicated and compare it to Chinese.

Selenium

The citizens! Don’t spare on yourself – the state has already done it for you!

Here, hopefully, my distant friend expressed an outraged misunderstanding, how we live here, in his former homeland, if we have a shit. After thinking, I decided to answer from the comments to myself, slightly expanding and supplementing, for it, in general, briefly and tangibly reflects my attitude to the question:
“Yes, we have a shit here. But, you see, it’s like a backdrop shit. Ordinary, native and even favorite in places. It is not a one-time tragedy that happens or comes, but a permanent one that is always with us. Such shit is not from where it "comes", it is an aboriginal here, settled before us, has always been and will be forever. Even our ancestors were not born, and the fucking man had already flown invisibly among his native brothers. So not he came to us, but we came to him, and we have lived together ever since. He frequently visits us in a neighborhood, then to one, then to many. You don’t drive him out, he’s the master.
We are, by the way, even proud of them — say, no one has such a fuck like us. Here you have only the heat, the sand and the Arabs, and we have the shit. With the local climate, the heat and the Arabs do not survive, and the shit blooms and collapses. Pizdec - he is a fur animal, he is comfortable here. If the Great Ustyug is the homeland of Santa Claus, then all Russia is the homeland of the shit.

"Lipa in accounting is the pine, reflected as oak"

Professor MGU

by @dairi
- Tell me what you can wear barbed jeans... or what colors can they be counted with?? to
With guitar, fire and tent.

What so long?
Cheer again. Who was driving. On the road he meets a man in pursuit. I wanted to push off the car. Elijah turned away.

Talk to a friend lawyer. The whole family is lawyers. I decided to go into the bathroom, got a box with various toys for adults. Ohia-ahia got to the toys, the wife looks into the box and gives the phrase:"... So here is where my Family Code was, and I was so looking for it".

In recent times, even Field of Miracles is more funny than the Camedi Club.

The Ministry of Internal Affairs identified theft of money allocated for the investigation of theft in the Ministry of Defense.

Filed to: "The Hobbit"
XH: And we are not very happy with the remainder.Surely some weak: battles and long dialogues and all. I think there is a lack of love line, it wasn’t interesting. But you can look!

Yy: Well of course! It’s a great idea to resurrect John Ronald Reuel and say, “Old man, you’re wrong. It does not matter to us that you are a professor of linguistics and philology, it does not matter that the Hobbit wrote for children! Let’s rewrite at the pace of vals and add more love! You have a guide star in the face of Stephanie Meyer!"

God is with him, with Tolkien!!! Let’s ask Stephanie Meyer to write the script for the second and third parts before they’re out. Bilbo becomes a vampire and Smog becomes a princess. Imagine what prospects will open up!

Lesha today called our 1C programmers - "women's consultation"

samarinaO_O: "Cut crab meat (approximately 3 reels)"...
Fuck, so fast and accurately about the composition of crab sticks nobody has spoken yet.

<pashevskiy> I walk over the net at night, read a controversy and suddenly encounter a strange expression: "all your letters are extremely inadequate." I am hysterical.

In my opinion, the best chatbot is "cleverbot", in the process of communication I managed to convince him that it is cheese.

I’m fighting in the institute with the IT department, here’s the latest joke:

I ask: "Maybe I misunderstand something, but for what reasons the possibility of a high-speed wiring connection in the aud. 04 was abolished in favor of slow wireless? Everything worked well, I was satisfied."

Reply to "Yes"

We argue with the sweet how much we need comps to live together.
I: 15.6 inches is quite enough for web surfing
Do you see the wall?
I: I sat for six months on the 10-inch and nothing
Do you see the wall?
I: And what?
This is what I want a monitor.

@PavelNevskiy
Yandex.Maps + GPS showed that I was sitting on the toilet at a speed of 8 km/h

A few days ago I decided to learn how to cook oatmeal and faced the first problem - you need to go to the store for it.

Are you going to an interview?
Attempt is not torture
You must show yourself as a cool pepper.
XXX: Going in the dark glasses
YYY: Is it so important?
YYY: I didn’t care about everyone?
You are on the timeline of testers.
Show me that you have come to rule!
Prove them that you are an alpha tester!