bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №77027
 06.02.2013
Alex_Pok2: I stood in the pharmacy today, waiting for the drugs to be brought, and here to the neighbor's window comes a man
Alex_pok2: Well, not a man, but a guy like that. The flow is dull, tired, under the eyes - black. Then he asks the seller:

Please give something to the kids.

The seller of his essays - condoms?
He says no... no... no... no... no... no.
Well, the seller thinks, tries to guess - contraceptive? The Lubricants? The tests?
The guy said it was all wrong.

alex_pok2: and then with the effort of will gives out a condemned voice:
Give me a knife... yes.
Seller to him: so it’s not from children, it’s a spasmolytic. Or maybe Viagra?
It is not!!! From the head... the head hurts... from the children...

In the pharmacy to rust was not decent, so I went out and stuck already on the street.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №77026
 06.02.2013
Listen, when you have nothing to do, which websites do you go to? Only decent
YYY: %sitename% I go to the ugly when I already know what to do.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №77025
 06.02.2013
Teacher of Mathematics:
They are afraid to go out to the board! I am afraid of her, she is green. A calm color.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №77024
 06.02.2013
Neoyork> toasters proudly called themselves "the departure of quality".
How to name our department. "Department of Development"
and scary. Options have been proposed "guild development" and
"the departure of quantity" (with the motto "we will fill everything with our quantity)
and quality" ;

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №77023
 06.02.2013
XXX: There was a joke in the bus
In the ears music plays, kitsch
XXX: And music, well, what a brighter, alive. The song is old, I know it. But something is not that. What a strange but pleasant musical path.
XXX: I really liked it. Go to the playground to see what version it is.
XXX: Nothing found, everything as always
Then I raise my eyes for minutes, and in the bus the Gypsy is playing the battlefield.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №77022
 06.02.2013
Discuss the new Dyson hand dryer for $1500.
Eugene: Why has the Minsk Belplast not yet mastered the import replacement dryer?? to
Andrew: Oh, she can shoot with a screw at such a flow speed.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №77021
 06.02.2013
News on the mail: "Linux destroys new Samsung laptops"
Tagged with: skynet! Don’t go to your grandmother! 😉

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №77020
 06.02.2013
No matter how much I read novels about post-apocalypse, everywhere mints are described as the main villains. Strange, but I believe it.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №77019
 06.02.2013
C6H: The Thief!!...
C6h: Go out to the aska!
Sergei Alexandrovich: This is Angela! He is not at home now.
c6h: Very nice, Angela) Angela does not know how to start her Skype? )))

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №77018
 06.02.2013
<both> yum[wr0k]: and the secretary is nice?
<ium[wr0k]> not very
<ium[wr0k]> the old was better
<ium[wr0k]> in the decree went :\
<both> yum[wr0k]: ORL!

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №77017
 06.02.2013
Two activists of the City Protection, detained at the Warsaw station in St. Petersburg, have been prosecuted for harm to the health of police officers.
During the clash, according to the Ministry of Internal Affairs, one policeman was hit with a blow on the head, the other was teeth. They were taken to the hospital in a state of moderate severity.
I don’t even know who is cooler, the students who were beaten off by the police or the policemen who were beaten by the head?

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №77016
 06.02.2013
xxx: I sent an email to the Post of Russia with the question: "Where is my package?". Now I think what will happen faster? Will a package come or a response to the letter?
Both the first and the second

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №77015
 06.02.2013
One good parent is better than a thousand books about education.
(Author of the Orthodox)

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №77014
 06.02.2013
In his place
Once a young employee asked me why the chief physician in narcology was a woman - usually men are placed in such positions.
What would you give a woman if you wanted to thank her?
The flowers, the sweets, the perfumes.
The previous five doctors were men. They all died of drunkenness. The patients gave them cognac.
0 - O

[ + 64 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №77013
 06.02.2013
“Adults do not marry with children, children do not marry with adults.” A fun game of society in decent people.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №77012
 06.02.2013
xxx: I remember once called a young man and very sympathetically told me that after analyzing the situation with finding our site on the twenty-fifth position in the yandex, he came to the conclusion that our site is not optimized, and offered the services of his company. I wondered what company. He called - it turned out that we were already their clients, and they were working so badly. It was uncomfortable.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №77011
 06.02.2013
Nothing brings you up in the morning like a wallet forgotten at home.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №77010
 06.02.2013
Wikipedia article about AC/DC

Caver Groups

AB/CD (Sweden and Italy)
BC and DC (Canada)
AM and FM (Germany)

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №77009
 06.02.2013
I dreamed of you today! Probably not easy.
I guess it was an erotic dream. and :)
Maybe even pornographic. and :)
YYY: Finally it is! I had sex in my dreams!! to

[ + 41 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №77008
 06.02.2013
Return the country of Soviets and faith in a bright communist future!
Yyy: Yes, we can’t build a normal capitalism here, and you about communism.
ZZZ: What’s the difference of not building?! to

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna