Do not demand too much from yourself. Thus, those who wanted to demand the line was established.

Higher Pilot Actors

We walk in the park, dinner, people are very few.
In the sky, hairstyles wind, catch their sharp dinner - a careless mosquito, committing crazy piruets of unbeatable as pilots.
Suddenly, a bird with an unnaturally twisted wing falls at our feet, literally in half a meter. I take her in my arms, she does not resist, does not feed, and does not break out! He looks trustworthy, simple. He breathes hard, shakes - probably a broken wing hurts.
We rescuers felt so successful in the right place, at the right time!
I feel like Dr. Ibolit. The wild bird is not afraid of me. We will cure and care! How well, how untoldly lucky the bird that we passed here, picked up, and if she died, wild cats would eat...
Then the little girl saw something brilliant under her wing. Something strange, up to a centimeter in diameter. Where do the birds come from? I pulled her off with a stick - it turned out to be a clover.
And the bird on the palm is like unconscious, the eyes are shaken, the wings are somewhat theatrically hanging. Then I saw the second tick, pulled it out.
After this, the haircut suddenly met, revived with the body, aroused with the spirit and flew away, without even saying goodbye, without kissing! The whole wing!
We were immediately confused by the miraculous healing.
Surprisingly, the trick was absolutely not injured. With a good play, the little virtuoso asked for help.

I brought a serum of truth. Now we will know how you really treat me.
How you are angry with me! Typical man, you can’t do anything in life! I hate you! I have been sleeping with my neighbor for six months.
You have to drink it first...

My grandmother was a thin little girl in her youth. She was very afraid of heights. But one day I decided to ride on the wheel of observation, overcoming fear. I paid for the ticket. In the first round, she realized that she was dying of fear and reluctantly tried to get out when the cabin was down. But at the attraction worked a healthy aunt "seven for eight-eight for seven", who replied to the attempts of the girl to go out "for three rounds of time! " I pushed her back. This was repeated after the second round.

The time was Soviet, whether the aunt worried that there would be an attempt to return the money, or if she simply thought that once such an order, then there is nothing to violate it...

Love of the Fatherland in small doses is medicine, in large doses is poison.

This story was told by a familiar doctor, I only tell as I can. Once it happened that we love in the country after a bath, under a cocktail, bikes to get in good company. This time we talked about miraculous salvations, I told you and my own, you can read here: https://www.anekdot.ru/id/951977/
The doctor also did not remain in debt, he has such cases, of course, in order more, further from his words, but I am not a doctor, so I could misunderstand something and misunderstand, well, the tales from doctors usually with eternal medical cynicism, with their special attitude to life and death, which sometimes corrupts the ordinary person, so the rumor I smote it, in general - do not judge strictly.

After graduation, I began my medical activity in 1995 at the regional hospital of the city of Petropavlovsk (Kazakhstan). So it turned out that for the entire hospital I was the only neurosurgeon, and by the feeling that in the whole city too, an ambulance with CT (cranial-brain injuries) brought everyone to us. There was more work than before Doha... well, to say gently, it was a lot. Sometimes there was a feeling that the world behind the walls of the hospital went crazy and there are fighting, and I am working in the hospital almost at the forefront. I was then given a room near the hospital, young, single, and was dragged at any time.
Another late winter evening, I went to the office and decided not to go home, drink tea and fall on the couch here, one hour at night will definitely be raised. So it coincided that there was a duty, and a few complicated operations, in general, on the legs at 35 hours exactly. The nurse offered to warm the couch in the nursing room, but not before you, the thoughts - to lie down and sleep, sleep, sleep...
When we woke up, looking at the clock with the arrows, for a long time I could not understand how much time has passed, if more than 12 hours, then what do you want to sleep, no, apparently only 20 minutes. My face is washed off, I go, and my eyes are closed, even if you put the light bulbs in, it is also snooping, it is shaking, the heating has been turned off? Well there is light. At that difficult time in Kazakhstan, wind turbines were practiced, sometimes in the residential sector, electricity was given only for a few hours a day, hospitals tried not to turn off, but it was also frequent. In short, I persuade myself, not only 20 minutes managed to sleep, but a whole 20 and going home, it could not work at all. Okay, coffee bread, the anesthesiologist will breathe oxygen and it will be normal.
So what is here with us? A boy in a police uniform, a younger sergeant aged 23-25, lies on a catwalk unconscious, got a steel bar or a pipe on his head. The mission broke the skull in the area of the junction of temporary and thymal bones.
- Okay, what to think here, go to the operating room, the opening will show.. - the last words I said almost in the corridor.
What is this opening?!!! – In the evening, a whole major of the militia jumped to me – a low and thick Kazakh.
We brought it to you alive, e-ha, we brought it! – grabbed me for the oral coat, sprinkling the saliva major.
"Calm down, he is alive, I will do trepanation, thyfu - the skull needs to be opened, here I said the opening - I flushed away from mint.
Are you someone? - almost instantly calming down, the major with suspicion looked around me and began to smell. Yes, it was immediately clear that my appearance caused deep doubts in him. Young, insolite, roasted, with red, tearful eyes, unbroken, in a faint and not very clean coat, in a hospital shirt on a barefoot, whom he still tastingly shakes in the cold, and also lost the front tooth of the third day by misunderstanding (slide and hit the edge of the shell, the lip has not yet healed and whispered noticeably), there was still a good smell of frostbite (although the nurse offered to brew alcohol), and so the spilled bombage.
- Okay, I went to prepare, time is expensive... - I rushed through the corridor.
“Yes, you don’t worry, this is our neurosurgeon, a good doctor... This is an elderly sanitary major whose suspicious, narrow-eyed look in the back I felt directly physically. This is another problem – do not give Hippocrates, the patient will die.

I made a cut, removed the fragments, well, even if there is luck, there is no bleeding inside, the brain will not fall. About luck rushed, another surgeon immediately went, said that in the neighboring operating room another miser is already being prepared for me. Fuck, when am I going to go out?
I let the nurse team interfere. This is such a two-component type of patch, when hardened, quite hard and elastic, having good adhesion to the skull bone. The edge of the hole was leveled, he drove longer than he had planned, the sister was already squeezing in his hands, grabbed on the machine, began to form a puddle. When I sample, it turned out that I did at least twice as much as necessary, to rework late, to catch the beginning. Okay, and so it will come down, well, there will be one cubicle more, on a not-so-perfect skull.
The skin is stretched - I seam, and the worm in the shower glutes, in the center is almost a centimeter thick. My professors-teachers for such a halter head with their hands would cut off, yes, even eggs...
The patient once after the operation observed, wrote the recommendations, the guy came to consciousness, well, of course, shook strong, but thanks to Hippocrates, they did not force all of their operated.

A few months have passed, and I have forgotten how many have passed through me.
Another challenge in the reception, gunshot injury of the head, again a police officer, a sergeant this time, the butt and half of the face is wrapped with bandages, like 20 crooks were wrapped, oh these ambulance officers... I ask another mint of the partner, what, and how. They fired meters from 4-5 from Makar (pistol Makarov, caliber 9 mm). In the touch? Almost in the top. There is no entrance, no exit. Hm..., it doesn’t seem to be a resident, there should be brains in the bush, I’m wondering – why did we go here, do we have nothing to do? Okay, I will come and see. I feel the pulse, it is necessary, still alive... Oh, he suddenly met up, standing up, Azamat-suku to him, you see, it is urgently necessary to wet. As in the anecdote from the series: the bullet asked for a whisk, came out of the second, but the brain did not hit...
- Lie down, lie down - both of us and our partner barely hold him.
"You have already soaked your Azamat, I personally soaked when he was shooting at you," a partner told him.
Winnie is silent? I want to see if I get up again.
You have a bullet in your head, I lied. I shouted the second mouth again. He finally calmed down, lying down... In full consciousness, the speech is a bit vague, it is understandable, but it doesn’t look like nonsense. Just thought so, he began to call us all into the carpentry, urgently he suddenly stumbled, something fell asleep. And you go nakui, and you doctor too go nakui... Yes, no rich people have moved in the Kazakh villages. Okay, prepare it, and I went too.

Only I looked at the broken turtle, sewing my own hand over the clot, so I immediately remembered it. How did I not admit it right away? The bullet entered almost exactly the center of my leech, and it stuck there. If she had fallen into the skull anywhere else, or if I had done the right thing then, they would have a cold corpse now, and so only a shock of the brain and a hole in the skin. So think, rework now, as it was, or as it should be?

As Maradona said after the quarter-finals with England at the 1986 World Cup: “If it was a hand, it was a hand of God.” So what goes? It was not my halta that was wronghanded, but this is the fishing of God.

Do not believe. I accidentally encountered a guy who always offended me at school. He dug a garden, and suddenly something solid.

Remember that life is like riding a bicycle: if you are sick, it means.

You are going up!

So I’m driving without a seat, and on cats.

When I was a child, I was very curious and curious, and my dad often connected me to some kind of housework, bribing me with phrases: “Do you want me to show you?” “Have you ever seen how...” and etc.



Here, for example, from what I remember – you need to clean up in the yard, he approaches and asks, “Have you ever seen the water evaporate in the sun? No is? Let’s go and show you!”

We go out, the dad with zig-zag movements waters the courtyard from the pipe and says that you need to wait just a few minutes and everything will dry.



“Let’s go,” he proposes, “as long as we wait, let’s go? You’re on the right side of the target, and I’ll take the left side, and we’ll see who gets cleaner.”

I’m fascinated by mocking, trying not to miss a single puddle, so that it’s not worse than my dad, and when we finish, he says, “Look, you see it and the water has evaporated.” I look around the really dry yard and at the level of magic I perceive the absence of traces of irrigation.



Or the dad approaches us with his sister and asks, "Did you see my mom brushing the mushrooms with her toothbrushes?" We respond negatively. A couple of moments and phrases, like, “no-ka, let’s see, and you’ll do the same? "And behold, we are standing before a huge mountain on the table, and we have three clean mushrooms, each in its own bowl of water.

Or: “Would you like me to show you how long the roots of the weeds are? And then, “Oh, you look at what, oh! “And a little later, ‘Let’s go, I’m knocking them out, and you put them out there together,’ and again, ‘Oh! Look at what an unusual color! “” And I am curious, I am fun, and what is busy with homework, I do not notice.



Already as an adult, I admitted that at 10 years old, I bite this clever move, laughed, remembered.

How many years have passed, and my daddy and my 20-year-old sometimes said to me with a smile: "Have you ever seen a daughter running to the store for a quinoa for daddy, fast-paced so? I said, “I’ve seen, I’ll show you now! I went to the store with pleasure and nostalgia for childhood.

A 17-year-old brother late in the night, drunk in the sludge, was pulled home by the police. The father helped bring him to bed, the mother talked to the authorities, signed some papers. He was laid in bed, divided, and laid to sleep. In the morning, a beginner alcoholic came into my room, carefully woke up and asked if his parents noticed yesterday that he came a little drunk.

The body is largely controlled by the peripheral nervous system. For example, a good blow to the mouth immediately wakes up the conscience.

I regularly watch different talk shows on TV. Probably the old. Particularly entertaining are those where officials of all walks of life call on young people to choose a competitive specialty, enroll in a top university and find a highly paid job that would allow them to earn a decent pension in 40-50 years and live without longing. In theory, everything is fine. Looking back at my classmates, I realize that with the first education fucking who guessed.
I graduated from school in 1986, we were young, disturbed, dreamed of the beautiful and thought of the good: what was the engine in the country. Who knew that in five years, when we graduate from our universities, together with the engine in the country will come the star, cape and other joyful furry animals. Then there were two coup d’état, two Chechen crises, crises of all kinds, monetary and pension reforms, etc. and etc. I think that each during this time had 2-3 personal microcataclysms, and not micro. There was a terrible inflation. In 1996, my mother and I bought a sewing machine for two million three hundred thousand rubles. Cut, by the way, so far. What happens to her is that she is German. From the Soviet salaries of 120 rubles to millions went less than five years. Then there was denomination and default. Thirty years have passed like one day. It was not boring. And here I look at these officials who write down all the charms of life with a large pension accumulated and I want to ask them one single question: gentlemen, are you sure that the next 30 years in our cheerful and unpredictable country will be more peaceful than the previous ones?

by PS. The same officials tell us what benefits of life await us by 2024, and for some reason their entire flight of fantasy is limited to the presidential term. Whether we are waiting for universal grace (which is questionable) and there will be no need to think about anything at all, or whether these officials do not see themselves in this country after 2024.

I want to be treated gender-neutral.
You hear it, shit...

Aunt (a lawyer for education) told the story from the time of her internship in (then still) the police station

They took a Gypsy woman with suspicion of transporting heroin in one intimate and interesting place. Probably a clue. And check suspicions as follows: the Gypsy is forced to take off her shirt and squeeze a little. And here she sits - once, two, three. An apple falls on the floor. Obviously a hole. And behind him fall tightly filled contraceptives with heroin. The apple is cleansed on the table away, they start to mess with the papers.

At this time, the same trainee is in the office. The unfortunate apple appears to him, and he begins to ring his bells under the frankly flattered eyes of the staff, the trainees, my aunt and the Gypsies.

How the story ended, I did not know.

Good morning dear readers. I work as an operator. Support from a well-known provider. And so call!

I am the Client:

I am - Good night, this is the company, this is the name, how can I help?

Where is my internet?

Do you have no internet?

K is Yes! Where is my internet?

I check his login and check the base.

I - You don't have an active session on the router, is it enabled?

No, no lamp is burning.

I - Please turn it on or check the power cable

K - I turn it on, it doesn't turn on!

And then there was a sharp woman’s voice in the background: “Dumb, we don’t have the light!”

The client hangs the phone. No greetings or greetings.

I am sitting at work, watching the process on the comp and what was so drawn into my sleep... Shortly dropped off in the chair, but you can't sleep and so hunting.

I remember reading a long time about the popular way for drivers not to fall asleep while driving. It is necessary to stop, shut down the engine, press the keys in the fist and place the hand so that when the grip is weakened, the keys are dropped. Go sleeping a little. When the keys fall out, you get a considerable charge.

I take the bandage from the 3 keys on the label, I throw myself off in the chair and instantly shuts me off. I woke up because my boss took the keys out of my hand. Excited by B#$!! to

A boy fought with a classmate. I raised them, and I asked:

What happened?

“I gave her a tablet to play, but she doesn’t return,” the boy replied.

I have returned! Even yesterday! The girl is upset.

I start the investigation. As you know, the devil lies in the details. I ask her:

Tell me how you brought him back.

I put it on party!

Where was he at that moment?

In the dining room!

Do you think it’s enough for the party?

"There was his neighbor, I told him to hand it over.

Looking for a neighbor, I ask:

Where is the plan?

I do not know?

Was it transmitted to you?

No is!

Back to the girl:

- Again, tell and show in detail how you gave it.

I put it on the party and told the neighbor to hand it over.

What did he answer you?

No, he was reading the book.

- That is, you just put the tablet on the party behind his back, said to transmit and left?

and yes! What is this?

There was noise in the class. He did not hear you. He went home. The planchet remained lying on the party. The owner of the tablet after the dining room also left home without going to class. As a result, someone took the plan for themselves.

I don’t care, I got it back and that’s all. Get away from me!



Called the parents of the students to school. tried to find out. The mother of the girl, the fault of the daughter did not see. The daughter of the tablet returned, and what was next with him, the problem of the owner of the tablet, you have to look at their things. They questioned classmates, children of the second shift, who came to this class, but the tablet was never found. This is all over.

This is the lesson of life. Classes that are not on schedule

What comforts: Cristiano Ronaldo, Lionel Messi and even Neymar are not deserved mothers of sport.

Tropical Cascade or How Wolves Change Rivers

When 14 wolves were released in Yellowstone National Park in 1995, scientists did not suspect that this would radically change the entire ecosystem of the park.
Wolves have not been in the park for 70 years and all this time there reigned deer, which over the years of uncontrolled breeding (all efforts of people to control their population were unsuccessful) caused the strongest damage to the local flora. The fourteen wolves, of course, were unable to slay all the deer, but they forced them to choose places for pastures more carefully and avoid some parts of the park. In these places vegetation has begun to revive. In six years, the number of trees has increased five times. There have been bobras who love to eat trees and love to build dams. In the factories there were owls, ducks and fish. Wolves decreased the population of chakals, which led to an increase in the number of rabbits and mice, and those in their direction attracted the park of frogs, chickens and foxes. Bears came to the park, as they could feed on wolf undernourishments, plus the number of berries in the park increased.
But most surprisingly, the wolves forced the rivers to change their behavior. Their streams were straightened and stabilized, and the erosion of the shores decreased. This happened because the influence of wolves on deer led to the explosive growth of trees and grass on the banks of the rivers, which led to their strengthening. The geography of the park itself has changed, and all thanks to the fourteen wolves released there less than thirty years ago.

If you steal, then the most vulnerable and weak.
Are you the head of government?