bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №72926
 13.11.2012
Did you hear what’s happening on the internet?
Kabuto what are you talking about? Is the site blocked?
Dmitriy Lurk has already been blocked, the router is approaching
Kabuto If the router is blocked, then I am on the barricades with a naval pole...
Dmitriy Do not whisper, you will fall on the barricades if the porn lab is struck...
Kabuto Nihera... Porno lab I have all jumped already :)f

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №72925
 13.11.2012
Hi, the computer cubic! How do you live? You probably get upset that the owner leaves you on and leaves? Do you want me to talk to you sometimes so you don’t feel lonely?
Margo: It seems to everyone that you have an ideal relationship: he’s always around, his fingers on your key and he’s keeping you online not just that.
Margo: But I know he’s really far away now... you even know with whom... it’s so terrible that he’s using you to talk to Her... it’s just blasphemy!
It is a rush))))
Are you really in the combo?! to

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №72924
 13.11.2012
To the unregulated intersection simultaneously approached 4 cars, how to know who will pass first?
Rule of Three D: Give the Way to the Fool
YYY: XXX, How do you know who is a fool? and :-)
ZZZ: by agreement

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №72923
 13.11.2012
From the Habra about Lurk:

Quite a thin troll, I will tell you.
However, I still have judgments before my eyes after practice in the OVD, calling it extremist "the book.docx file, spread on TDK disks of blue".

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №72922
 13.11.2012
I was in the cinema today.
Zzz: I saw the trailer of Fucking Darkness
Zzzz: And guess who was there?
Zzz: well in the first grandmother from the barrel who was shot by Ana Lucia
ZZZ: And then there was
Zzz: Brother of Dexter
The Brother of Dexter Fuck
ZZZ: The Killer
X is ice?
ZZZ: Yes
That’s where they get after death.
XXX is hell!

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №72921
 13.11.2012
So what do you know about removing negativity??? Here is a friend of mine, from the village, with his mother broke up, went to the courtyard, poured gasoline and set fire to the bath he had just built. The pair went down, so to say. His mother also dropped his pair - wrote a statement to the police! He sat for 15 days. They live now quietly, without negativity, but also without baths.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №72920
 13.11.2012
Morning...Warm bed...Sweet sleep...Suddenly... hit the head with the controller – "Kucimotics!!! andquot;

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №72919
 13.11.2012
Planned filming of Star Wars Episode 7

XXX is
It would be better to take 0 episodes where the master Yoda is young.)))

YYYY
and high ))))

Have you ever seen "Avatar"?? to

[ + 40 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №72918
 13.11.2012
Yaroslav Mazurk is suspected of another 20 murders.

... in Mazurk's apartment a re-search was carried out and, in addition to books on the gunfire case, as if they had found a metal detector..."

And at the third search in the apartment will suddenly be found: 20 kg of heroin, 50 kg of trottil, 200 thousand. copies of pirated software, a warehouse of child pornography, schemes of the premises of the Verkhovna Rada and the Kremlin, strange letters in Arabic, Spanish gold, amber room, all the money of depositors of the Sberbank of the USSR and the death note "It was I killed Kennedy."

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №72917
 13.11.2012
He stood up on the weights, he swallowed.
Then I remembered what in the heavyweights... let go...)))

[ + 26 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №72916
 13.11.2012
The wise do not write humorous journals – they only have to look around.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №72915
 13.11.2012
The Suitable Candidate

told a acquaintance.
In the late 1990s, after the Russian default, I was sitting on the bench, and then a friend called me and offered to work, taking part in the election campaign in Mosgorodum. As it turned out, these were additional elections in one of the districts instead of the outgoing deputies. Our candidate was positioned as an independent and was little known to anyone, I will not remember his name. I was invited to walk around the apartments and collect signatures in support of him. For one received signature, the agitator was credited with twenty rubles. A friend assured me that in a day you can safely collect fifty signatures - it was a piece a day! Crazy money at the time, and I agreed without thinking.
But it quickly turned out that the team of the "independent" candidate was poorly prepared for the campaign. In the district did not disclose the visible agitation in support of our hero, on the hands of the agitators gave only a small leaflet with his biography, where there was not even his photo. After the first day of work, I almost collected nothing, but I realized that the most important thing in this case is a photograph of the candidate. Since no one knew him, I borrowed from the Internet photos of not very well-known, but photogenic Hollywood actors and Nobel laureates (those with very wise faces on official photos) - for voters of all ages, genders and social status.
Now I walked through the apartments, visually assessed the contingent of its inhabitants and, according to my assessment, presented a photograph. My affairs immediately went well, because I was almost not mistaken in this physiognomic practice, but one episode is remembered.
I found a blonde at 25 years old (blondes were already joking about then). I looked at her - a foolish fool, telling about the elections in pride, about our "independent candidate". And she’s just scratching, scratching her stupid eyes: “I don’t understand anything about your elections and candidates at all. What are they dependent on? of the drugs? You should at least look at a man who is all of himself." I was, of course, ready for that. Well, I think the movie actors show her dangerous, she may be aware. I take out the Nobel laureate’s portfolio. She tosses on him, knocking on his blind eyebrows, and wrapping with a butt. “That is not suitable. Do you have other candidates?” I’m not a fool showing another Nobel champion, and she’s curling her lips again! I had another photo of the Nobel laureate, I present. And then she finally satisfied: “But this is a suitable candidate. Both the German Ludwig Sternmer and the American Jack Steinberger received the Nobel Prize in Physics not by the case, but the French Pierre de Jean earned his Nobel Prize.
The blonde blinked at me, but still put her autograph on the signature sheet.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №72914
 13.11.2012
Unlike foreign marriages, AutoVAZ has never recalled its cars.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №72913
 13.11.2012
from the advertising agency's vacancy page =)

If you are:
You want to earn little.
Not Positive
Bringing home problems to work
You can’t drink so that it doesn’t affect work.
You smoke more packs of cigarettes a day.
Doing work inappropriately
Doing work slowly
You don’t have a propeller in the right place.
Younger than 18 or older than 55 years
You like to argue or argue at work.
Late to
You do not like your job.
You drink the cock you sit on.
You have no place in our RA!

[ + 44 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №72912
 13.11.2012
One lecturer liked to ask his students the question: "How does a DC transformator sound?"
Some people tried and tried to describe...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №72911
 13.11.2012
It’s time for doctors to take on the programming slogan: “If it works, don’t touch it.”

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №72910
 13.11.2012
<Alnair Lindalwe> yellow. For some reason, after every repair, a pair of gloves disappears.
<Alnair Lindalwe> In the depths of the car ))
<zaga> good that you didn’t become a surgeon

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №72909
 12.11.2012
The Conqueror: Hello, what are you doing?

Atheas: I am falling. I did not sleep.

Enot Conqueror: Lucky, and I am arranging for work, I wait for an interview and try not to think about the toilet that I really want.

Don’t think about the toilet. Think of Angel.

The Conqueror: I don’t know who it is

Atheas: The highest waterfall in the world. It is located in the quiet mountains of South America. So thin and tall that the stream breaks down into millions of tiny drops that hit the rocks and cause a loud roar. Eternal Storm of Nature

Enot Conqueror: Thank you, now I will definitely need new shoes

Atheas: Enjoy it

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №72908
 12.11.2012
We watch with mommy yesterday "The Avengers"... On the screen appears S.L. Jackson, Momma says: "Nifiga himself Bondarchuk burned".

[ + 38 - ] [8 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №72907
 12.11.2012
From Habr. Discuss the closure of lurkmore. People are discharged from who works/blocked the site.

You, comrades, have just issued providers that work poorly, inoperatively, non-patriotically.
WOW:... or just keep common sense.
Zzz: Keeping common sense is illegal.

Too sad to be a joke.

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