I: Why is Muska licking me? I no longer know where to go from her...
Enot: She Loved You
I: She thinks I’m dirty (((

He broke into the closed door until the opened one was locked.

Professor Sergey Kapica: “What is my main disagreement with the church? I say that it is the man of God who invented it, and they are the opposite.”

What do you prepare for breakfast? There is yogurt, fatty cheese, musli with milk.
Give me yogurt, cheese and musli. to eat something.

What advice do you give to beginners aquarists? A typical mistake? (They are :
A typical mistake:
Do not allow drunk guests with cake to the aquarium. For some reason, their inflamed brains usually believe that fish love sweets.
XXX: O_o
YYY: I have so Piran died. and :(

See what happened to me today.)
YYY: what
xxx:Today I go into the elevator, after me comes the hoppy kind of kid.He at 10 I am at 13 need, and I stand coughing (again this sputum) and here he gets to smoke and wants to smoke,I tell him say no need to lament, you see I cough.He zero attention,he just looked at me and stood smells of his swallow.Well, I am so, not proud, for the sake of taking and whispering royally, loudly, with a whisper.You would see his face.Say what he shouted-nothing to say))
I don't think I know you well :D

I run into my apartment in the morning and go to work. While the husband is running, he doesn’t have to get up. A cat is attached to my pillow, and begins to lick his pulse, falling asleep right in the process.) The cat did not find out, and went out and her, and then even the cheek of her husband.
Husband: Oh, Baska, if you could shave me, I could shave for half an hour longer!

Found by chance, the author is virtually anonymous, but this is what is called "lively"

Aleksandr
You sleep, sometimes, at work, killing the alarm with your fist.
The hunt for the lost socks begins.
And he is like a drunkard in the midst of a feast, like a dawn star,
It will go deep underground, with no signals or traces.
Shines uninvited tear - he was comfortable and good.
Let the rubber stretch, on the heels of the grid - and yet...
But, remembering about Fedor's hole, you will kindly slander: "Little...",
You will swear, and you will swear, and you will swear.
The clock is getting worse. By undermining your prestige,
You scream that you have a hostage, and you threaten to throw out the couple.
By getting rid of false pride, you bow in dusty corners.
And this shit, smiling, lies nearby,.
And, watching the process, he whispers maliciously: "You will know!
I shouldn’t have been hysterical before sex!"

Review of the movie "The Stealing Tiger, the Hidden Dragon".
by Dan01:
In general, the movie is nothing... angry just that they can fly there... and angry that I can’t...

It had to be further scattered.
Tagged with: "Happy Days"

However, the Russian mail ended a long time ago, in the summer of 17 years: since the first time in Europe, the Minister of Post and Telegraphs appeared. Then the “Minister of Labor” appeared for the first time – and then the whole of Russia stopped working. And the devil of Cain’s anger, bloodthirst, and wildest self-government fell upon Russia precisely in those days when brotherhood, equality and freedom were proclaimed. Then there was an outcry, a sharp disturbance. Everyone cried out against each other for the slightest contradiction: “I arrest you, shit son!” “I was almost killed by a soldier in the Arbat Square at the end of March 17 – for allowing myself some “freedom of speech” by sending to hell the “Social Democrat” newspaper, which was imposed on me by a journalist.

xxx: read that the absence of intimate life in youth ends badly :(
YYY: Yeah, you know, when it’s not there it ends badly.)

Never tell a boss who returned from a vacation that you did everything well. At first, he knows this without you, otherwise he’t keep you at work. Second, what should you do to make a person pleasant? Put him a bunch of questions at once, let him feel its importance.

About Pussy Riot
Study business from girls, advertising on Madonna placed.

Can you tell me how much time it is?
My dad doesn’t allow me to talk to strangers on the street.

From MMORPG BS.
"The XH player gets a rare skill Intelligence"
Nowadays, this is indeed a rare thing.

You will never tell me why you were so damned yesterday. Have a conscience - I already have a complex of inferiority started to develop, I think I did not.
Yyy: Yes, I just remembered that I had to go early in the morning, that’s all. Nothing like that, all norms.
Don’t think like you’re a girl! I will understand, I will not impose, and I will make conclusions for the future. And then now, without information, I already thought that it wasn’t right with me... I really need to know what it was about, I won’t be offended.
I went to the kitchen yesterday, remember? On the board, the strawberries are crushed, and you lick blood from your fingers. It was really disgusting, I was almost upset.
YYYYYYYYYYYYY How are you there?
Yyy: Well, I knew, "I will not be offended", "I will not be offended"...
xxx: Here I, out of the table :-) The liver lay quietly, and waited for me to extinguish it with vegetables. And from my finger I sliced the raspberry syrup with which the cake was impregnated. Only a person who has reviewed the Hollywood horrors can confuse the bloodshed with the innocent syrup. In reality, they are neither similar in color nor consistency!
Yyy: I’m kind of lohanul, yeah? )
So, I am amnestiated. Would you go today?
Are there any more cakes?

I have a joint node. I read not only the classics of sorting "refreshers", but also such works as liquid soap, face scraper, shave foam...

Legendary American golf champion Lee Trevino, also known as the ‘happy Mexican’ or ‘supermex’, told such a story. After another competition for the PGA Cup in 1965, he moved to a new home and one beautiful morning leveled the lawn in front of the entrance. Nearby stopped the luxurious Cadillac, from which a luxurious blonde emerged.
Sorry, do you speak English?
Well... sometimes.
How much do you get for your job?
in a different way. For example, the hostess of this house allows me to sleep with her.
Blonde like the wind.

by Google
What should I do if YouTube doesn’t want to upload videos?
The answer is to wait until YouTube wants to upload the video.

They bought a Doberman puppy so that their ears stood up and glued them with a patch on the usual "tampaks".
How does "regular" differ from "super"?
Selling with drops.
Husband : Yes? Why do you need to "super" for big ears?
Seller O_O