Original birthday congratulations - Happy Birthday!

Co6ak: we take a plasma of 85 inches. We hang it on the wall. Cover the screen with white paint. Put the projector and light on the plasma. The Profit!

Description of vacancy:
Wishes on the profile of the future IT Director (CIO):
Your gender and age do not matter, as long as you are a man and you are 35 years old.

Sherlocked :
I came to the store, first looking at the Internet the availability of sizes and colors, because I can't tolerate the sample and search in the store "and give this one more stuff... what color do you still have? Then give all 285 colors, you need to sample."
I went to the girl-seller, Grya, said, give me such, such and such pants of such size and colors. She brings me this packaged, grit - to the box, sorry. I gru, say, it.. I would measure.. she rounded the blue dishes on the men (well, indeed, she has blue beautiful eyes) and "polite" so:
Are you not embarrassed that they are men?
What I am, without having time to fully understand what I will say soon and that there are several left-handed uncles who choose tents and bedrooms:
- Girl, don't you bother that I'm only wearing a lick with strings on a female?
The girl couldn’t find what to answer, the uncles whispered.)

Wife tells about breast cancer to colleague
She: Her chest was hurt, like with mastopathy.
I: Well, of course, I know how my chest hurts with mastopathy.
Just like before the month.
I: Well, this is the more I know!

I am scared, the kids are scared.
Mother says to her brother "Now I’m going to lick someone". And Dad: "No, we’ll just leave him and Danny".
I am a monster, bluff.

Reply to the question and comment on it)
Girls, how would you react if your match had eaten your decorative rabbit? It’s not a joke and don’t offer him to give up. I had already stunned and stunned, and then something was funny. He really didn’t like this rabbit and threatened to eat it, but I didn’t believe it. In fact, he apologized very much, asked for forgiveness, and did not do it, all the remains were thrown out.
What other options do you have other than to kill/destroy? hug and say "Love, it was amazing! And now you eat all my relatives"?? to
It is worth giving up for spending food in vain.
I tried and threw it!
Recipe to ask.
Don’t take the cat, for God’s sake.
I was roasted :D

I read in the news today:

The famous billionaire, charity George Soros on August 11 on the celebration of his 852th birthday announced his intention to marry for the third time.

The PTC. I always knew he was a vampire.

From Habr:

xxx: Well, in relation to the moon, the word "moon" is quite literal.
Agree, the earth on Mars does not smell - both in the meaning of soil and in the meaning of the planet.
YYY: Has he settled, has he settled? and yes)
zzz: Refuge will be quite problematic given the absence of a “hard flat surface.”
aaa: Do you think metal hydrogen is not solid or uneven at a pressure of a million atmospheres? and :)
bbb: At such a pressure, a starlight that sits on a metal hydrogen surface will not create any irregularities on it. It flaps, to put it simply.
ccc: Prepare yourself in the metal hydrogen ;)

From Habr (Discussions on Crime Tracking System):

The most interesting thing is how she will recognize crimes. Let’s say the banal hop-stop “uncle, let me smoke.”

YYY: I think one of the main models of crime detection:
- transition to running (it is not natural for the city)
- acceptance by a person of a horizontal position (a person to stand out on a constant background - elementary, well, and the fact that he fell to the ground - will also not be difficult)
Not a naturally loud noise for a particular point of observation.
- detection of weapons in the hands (both firearms and cold, well, if at night in the hands of the beat - obviously not for the game.)
This is what first came to mind, and there and before the statistical analysis is not far away - as holds a particular object, the frequent flashing of one person in the field of observation. and etc. and etc.

zzz: Falling baseball player who runs home from the stadium in the evening with a beat behind his shoulders will be sentenced to 10 years :)

Get up early tomorrow, have to eat breakfast in the evening to sleep longer!

Dialogue with a girl (she is in Korea)

and Eugenia
I bought you cowards.

and Eugenia
I bought you a lot.

and Eugenia
But they are cowards if we break up, so that when you sleep with a new girl, they are civilian cowards.

Conversations on Skype
- I don't understand, we live in the age of fast, unlimited Internet, well, it's a hassle to throw a file size less than a megabyte into the archive, and, shit, with compression. It unpacked longer than it slipped.
The guy is weak, the file is small, and suddenly it will be lost or fall out of the journey.

I am an allergic. Why do I have sex when I can eat chocolate at any time and get scratched?! to

>...why does a person have a disgusting voice, the louder he tries to fuck, and the interlocutor is chosen through the half-room? The idiots, even the headphones do not save.

How I understand.
For a long time I had to go to work at the same time with one aunt who had a disgusting whispering voice, and she was always not alone, but with some silent friend who had something rubbed all the way. Her mouth was not closed at all. The seats usually remain single, and being close to them, it was impossible not to hear this pylorama. After 10 minutes, the whole body began to itch, and the hands themselves stretched out to stifle the infection.

From the Medical Forum:
Dear Doctor! My name is Anna, I am 25 years old, I have two children. I gave birth spontaneously.

If you want to, turn off the lights and the laptop so that it doesn’t light.
Will I get up?
“No, fucking, it’s like a flower, just stretching to the light.

xxx: I am going to be...heavy on my heart...unknown reaction (
Sometimes you sit so you sit, think... and should it even start this conversation. You try to do the best. to share with a person what concerns him, to make him feel that he is important and that he is closer... but what does it lead to? Nothing good, as experience shows.
People don’t see things as you want them to be and as you mean them.
YYY: You described the exam directly.

Opa, smartphones and ultrabooks have become so smart that they can be taught something.

YYY: Will it still be! Soon they will become so clever that they will start to penetrate. As Professor Preobražensky.

Smartphone is charged.
and no. I will not.
Why are you refusing?
I do not want.

Yesterday, the whole house was captured. repair of the courtyard: cleaned the place under the parking lot, cooked new turnips on the site, updated the benches, rearranged the bordures. In order to create favorable conditions for the parking lot, the place for 20 cars has been filled with sand, and it has been flanked on three sides with a border and mountains with a slate. From the side of the ride they poured fresh concrete up to the house, and the entrances to the courtyard were blocked with their cars and red shutters until the brigade arrived to pour out the parking lot.
So, at night, one companion in a taxi did not pay attention to the obvious signs of "building" and the unusual location of the cars, and still found a gap in the border from the far end of the venue, broke between the mountains on wet sand, walked around the turnips, and then stuck in raw concrete near the house, but still went straight to the entrance, from where and was laconically sent by one of the tenants on a loud and ringing yuh. I walked the same path, poor man.