bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №68186
 09.08.2012
hypoallergenic
Chatta Dasha had a fungus in my brain while we slept nearby at night.
My beer was long over.
I see a bank in the refrigerator.
I am so thoughtful.

And here I get ridiculed by her.
"My beer is at rest"

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №68185
 09.08.2012
Andrei (15:03:15 8/08/2012)
Today in the subway violinist Havu Nagila played
Andrei (15:03:29 8/08/2012)
If I had not been a Jew, I would have given money.

[ + 33 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68184
 09.08.2012
I have a dog, a German Shepherd. I decided through the websites of dogmakers to find a cage for the cage:

“There is, but, cheprack, fox, club, labeled, 5 years old, not unbounded. I am looking for a cabbage. Tjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj

And what do you think? More than half of the animal-related websites have refused to place an ad "cause of non-normative vocabulary". What do I call a female dog?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №68183
 09.08.2012
Straga: I go in a bus type ~Ikarus~ in front of the rebe and next to the passage is a mom of huge size 35-40 years. Opposite stands a man of 50 years and offers the lady to sit in his place, and he has to go to the exit, like we two in a narrow passage we will not fit. The lady refuses and grit: who needs that passes! A man whispered with his heart toward a lady. At this very moment, the lady rounded her eyes and issued a phrase after which I then roared openly all the way: Oh, you are an old dog! I decided to worry about me!!! to

[ + 29 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68182
 09.08.2012
We have a business dispute with our colleagues.
Did you lick a pencil when you were a child at work?

YYY: I’m afraid to ask about the essence of the dispute.
No, I did not lick him. I smelled like all normal kids.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №68181
 09.08.2012
XXX: I don’t understand why she did this?
XXX: That is not logical.
XXX: Agree, a bad argument

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68180
 09.08.2012
XXX: They have already gotten, come with their flashes/photics, get in without demand. You see, they have to.
YYY: Do as Mishana.
XXX is?
YYY: It on the USB on the front panel brought 12 volts from the power unit. No one ever gets to his computer.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №68179
 09.08.2012
Saika: When our seller says "and you tried our loans", it seems he is a drug dealer

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №68178
 09.08.2012
A 20-year-old Russian man tried to emigrate to Ukraine (to Odessa) on an inflatable mattress to improve the conditions of his life

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №68177
 09.08.2012
XHHH: Your screwbacks annoy me terribly, some foolish
I don’t understand, you didn’t like the letter ordered?
XHH: No, the font is normal, the other is angry. I told him for half an hour what I wanted. He does not know at all what a ligature is, nor even what a kegl is, fucking!! to
Do you know how our boss took this guy to work?
HH: How will I know this?
Listen here bro. Once our boss came into the store some squeezed, and on the shelf a sheet of A4 and there in such a classy font, a straight look, it is written: Cigarettes do not trade bla-bla, federal legislation bla-bla, kindergarten nearby. Well a boss to new fonts maniac, let the seller (boy of this, ah) torture what font, etc. He stood still, and then said: I don't understand what you are talking about, we don't have a printer, I wrote it by hand with a black flommaster.
WOW: His father is an architect-drawer of Soviet hardening, it turns out. =) is


[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №68176
 09.08.2012
I saw the girl's status as a member:"I know a lot of warm words: steel mill, boiler, AMD."

The following dialogue follows:
I: Where did the status stumble from?
Maybe she invented it herself?:D
I: Well then explain what AMD is and why it belongs here?)
Without Google
Attention to!! to
I know very modestly about it.
But I know it’s something related to the compound and logically it emits heat.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №68175
 09.08.2012
My aunt gave me a tail to divide meat. Well, once came guests, drank, snack and let stories tell each other, who in the car broke, politics, sports, etc. And I take it and say, "I now, when I rub meat, always remember my aunt."

Silence at the table.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №68174
 08.08.2012
XXX: The Main Rule
Reality is not confused.
in their
Illusions and agree?
yyy: The main rule of reality -
No fuck without Gandalf.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №68173
 08.08.2012
I talked to a beautiful blonde. I shake my hands, shake my hands, show, in short, how amusing I am. She smiles and blows with long eyelids. And here I pronounce the phrase: "Well, and here Ostapa suffered...". She: "Wait... I didn’t understand, and Ostap is your friend?

[ + 43 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68172
 08.08.2012
The strongest physiological pleasure a person experiences when he itches the place that itches.
c) The scientists

Conclusion: mosquitoes are created to give us the highest pleasure.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №68171
 08.08.2012
Yes, for this money the Russian mail will deliver the elephant to Vladivostok.
Wow, but I should have been to Kaliningrad.
Not an elephant, but a mouse.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №68170
 08.08.2012
I sit behind the compost, my wife in the kitchen is doing something, screaming to me from the kitchen:
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I did not hear.
YYYYYYYYYYYY
XXX is harsh!

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №68169
 08.08.2012
It seems to me that the drivers of patches have such a sign - before the lying policeman to guess a desire and disperse. If the ass of all passengers is removed from the seats during taking the height, the wish will be fulfilled. I do not know the subtleties of guessing yet.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №68168
 08.08.2012
The Lost:
I have a gipsy hand on my table, almost compressed in my fist.

The Lost:
It felt like it was covering something 6-7 centimeters in diameter.

The Lost:
This was then taken out of their hands.

The Lost:
Voot

The Lost:
A new employee arrives tomorrow.

The Lost:
And I think...

The Lost:
If you put a thick cooked sardine in this hand and put a new employee on the table...

The Lost:
Does it move faster or vice versa?and :)

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68167
 08.08.2012
From one forum:
XXX: Does anyone know that for two points are glued in many athletes slightly higher than the belt on both sides of the spine? The points are small, so they do not pull to protect against stretching.
YYY: One hole for data connector, another for charging

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