Once in the head came to order cakes from America via the Internet. My leg is very small, 35 size. And like on the site I left my parameters, but obviously they didn’t understand me. As a result, 20 days later, a package came, which contained calas of some noble size, and inside a note (in Russian!Sorry, 35 was not, maybe 45 would fit.

I’m in the bus and a couple of Asians are sitting in front of me. I looked at it, I thought, how cute! A long-haired girl put her head on her short-cut boy’s shoulder. Then I looked again and understood: no, it’s the opposite – it’s a long-haired boy who climbed on his girl’s shoulder with a short haircut. After a while, doubting, I looked again. It was no longer a boy with a girl, but two aunts of age. Or even uncles. A mother with a son, or a father with a daughter.

The fucking Chinese.

The energy you get from eating 2 bananas is enough for 90 minutes of exercise or 40 minutes of sexual intercourse.
Eat 4 bananas and borrow for 80 minutes.

shiva1: the Siberian federal district on the map of Russia looks like a whore
shiva1: when our designer drew a map for one strict customer with distinction of circles by colors, they wrapped her a drawing with the phrase - why do you draw our genitals on the map

On the third day I drank 5 liters of vodka around half-six in the morning.
And suddenly I began to understand them all!
I understand what my 1.5 year old son says.
I understand what my wife is offended by.
I understand why our clients are not happy.
xxx: And most importantly, I’ve started to trust television in general and our government in particular.
xxx: <...deep breath...>
XX: You know, that explains a lot of scary things.

XXX: Have you watched movies in the style of Fortress??? Your cars are designed to move your ass around the city, rather than racing on them. If there were horses under the hood, we could talk about some races. One thing I want to say, don’t rape 80 little pony... Ride quietly – enjoy it.

From Contact:
xxx: Drivers, stop driving like shit, turn on the turns and make smooth manoeuvres!!! to
yyy: Motorcyclists, stop climbing through traffic jams without vaseline and start reflecting yourself in the mirrors!
The motto is vampires, we have a problem with reflection in mirrors, we suffer ourselves...

xxx: a few years ago worked as an installor for the wiring of the LS
xxx: we laid the lock in the entrance by the stand to the point
xxx: standard house, standard entrance: 4 apartments on the floor, 2 stands
xxx: I am standing on a table with a whirlwind
xxx: suddenly, from the apartment on the other side runs out the grandmother with eyes on the floor of the face
xxx: and how do you look: "What do you do here, I have in the bathroom tanks flow"
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
XXX: The work then stood up.

I sit with a guy in the kitchen.
I hope you will love me just as much as I do, and I won’t have to kill a dragon, win a war, scratch a ring.
I: But will you kill a dragon for me?
P: Of course though.
I: And the ring?
Q: Okay, I will kill and ring.

by Rihoxonu:
What to do if it smells bad from the mouth?

The Emperor:
1st Brushing the teeth.
2nd Spray the mouth with an elixir.
Three Drying the gum.
4 is Take a textbook of Russian in your hands and break your head at it!

Interesting observation: 90% of lazy men think they have a beard

Victorian
I want to communicate well with you.

Nikita
Can we communicate?

Victorian
to communicate

Nikita
Try again
Communicating

Victorian
Communicating

Nikita
Be careful
I am with me.

Victorian
well
to communicate?

A girl came to visit me (and I now live in the village myself) well, and how I have mountains of unwashed dishes.In general, from my black pot, she made red! and in the grapes 0_o

I am from the organs. You will be surprised, but for monitoring this forum I get a salary.

Kolya: Sometimes it seems to me that I also get paid for monitoring this forum and a couple of sites with funny cats.

XXX: Do not shake your soul! Or do you agree and we and Lenka will take and suddenly come to you at the house!)
YYY: Oh, I’ll look at you... it’s not that 210 km from Moscow... I would say that on your pejo it’s a VAN VEY TICKET.

XXX>I beg - watch when Word emphasizes, plus.

YYY> the red?

XXX> and green

XXX>Green - it does not mean: "Leh, offgenically wrote!" :)

I can’t share it!!! to
I went to the water today. In the area of Siamži, road drivers corrected the mark... From a solid line they made a... Those guys!!! to
Beginning of day. On the street +30 C. We go. People in orange are breaking the road...Thank you guys! The mood was up for the whole day!! This country cannot be defeated! ? 

by Helldumbass:
The guy.
by Helldumbass:
I’ll tell you something, it’s great.
by Helldumbass:
I went to my grandmother now, to take medicine home, well, all means, went back. I stand at a crossroads, near a stop. There is a girl there, all of herself is a star. Pink cofflet, the whole face painted, painted like a mark in the march. Such a man approaches her, in a suit, in a Capo-ala mafia hat, and says:
by Helldumbass:
Girl, and I broke up.
I congratulate you.
Do you like to shoot?
You are sick, I don’t understand. Are you sick?
I like to pop. And to show. You seem to have a problem.
Why did you think I had a problem?
You are shooting?
The girls do not shoot.
- Girl, I have a wife, like a perdanet - so all the flies nearby breathe from the wheat. Here are the men - looking at the elderly and teenagers sitting next to me, including me - do you like to give up well? The people began to sneeze, agree, say they like to strike the gazka.
by Helldumbass:
“You see, girl, you seem to have trouble, since you don’t shoot and don’t crack. I have a remedy for constipation - and get out of - under payment what? Not a Thompson machine. What - the box - this * name of the medicine * will help you from any constipation! The girl did not wait, her bus came, she sat down and left with an offended face.
by Helldumbass:
These are the comedians today.

Russians are Russians everywhere.
The International Store at Brighton Beach. A row of Russians behind salads, among them is an American, behind the shelf a Russian woman of middle age. The turn comes to the American, he begins to explain what he needs, naturally in English. And here the saleswoman, apparently not burdened with a deep knowledge of English, turns somewhere deep into the store and screams: "Love, help plz, and then here the foreigner has come!"

I think being gay is blatant: they have their clubs, their shirts, their music and their atmosphere, if they didn’t fuck in the ass, they would be gay.