I work as a technician in a sports store, due to a shortage of sellers I have to occasionally advise buyers, a conversation with one lady eventually killed:
I: Hi, can I help you?
Hello, where are your wallpapers here?
I (already with a bit of a dumb face): This is a sports supermarket, we have no wallpapers!
Ladies (with sincere surprise): Why do athletes not paste wallpapers? and!!!! to
I am O_°
And you’re talking about breaking patterns.)

I woke up at 8 :)

Nikolayevna is mm. I slept )

Svetlana Ugo. And now I’m still shrinking.)

Svetlana: How many pluses

Would you sleep and not prepare food?

by Svetlana: AGA

I work in the bank safely. Between the leadership of the bank, there is a rough archive titled "Obvious and Incredible". I wondered what was there. I ask a colleague:
What do you think that’s going on there?
The fuck knows him. But judging by the name, probably the bank’s budget for the second quarter.

The capsule with a message to the descendants will be laid as the foundation of the Belarusian nuclear power plant on August 3

>knigalub: and in the message only two words: "Forgive us".

YYY: What is your new number?
yyy: 000-00-00
YYY: Only this simka will be taken from me soon.
XXX Why?
Yyy: I took her from her nephew, he demands to return his private life
yyy: think of personal life, I've gotten it up with her a long time ago, he only had two girls and called.
YYY: There will be no more

Nastya : and we with the nightshade or how)
Rodion : Yes
Nastya: how many places to sleep there?
Rodion: if all are very sober then places 8
If you are drunk, there are 30 places.

Yes is. The IQ is not measured by the number of universities.
Usually it correlates.

Sander: I thought that if I married you, we would live long and happy. They would die in one day. of hunger.

I have a closet right next to the window, so I always hold the curtains when I change clothes.
So, I go out of the shower this morning, I open the closet, I stand and think what to wear... At this time my cat runs out, starting from the very corridor, jumps into the middle of the curtain, and falls down with the carniss...
A man in front of the window ripped a cup of coffee out of surprise.
Of course, my immediate reaction was - to sit sharply and in a posture "on the corks" to slip out of the field of sight))))

"500 days of summer" We stayed in Peter for three days.

Brazilian judo player broke an Olympic medal in the shower.

Fuck, what did he do to her?

I watched the TV all day since morning.
What did you do all night?

Tired of computers.
Tired of the computer? Have you earned the third stage of plateau? I offer you a new genetically modified product "walk"! Walking is not boring, but a round ass!

Why do you want to sleep every night?

What heat does to the brain. I go to work and meet a guard on the way. He sits, sits and looks at the rule. It turns, takes the antenna, stretches with the words "Do you want ice cream?"
Even somewhat awful.

Hi my mother! Why are you not sleeping?
I was awakened...
Who dared to? O_O
The Mothers (
Kirill: “I’m out of the net”

XXX is
What was busy?
YYYY
The case
XXX is
Which
YYYY
Importantly
XXX is
under the name?
YYYY
I was fucking!

I work as a sales consultant, observed a good method of management of personnel.
Between the two employees conflict, one tells the other, the director approaches and asks what the problem is. In general, he described the situation more accurately.
Director: A. Tell N. that you won’t be like that anymore...
A: I will not be like that anymore.
Director: Here you see N. He won’t be like that anymore...

And again Monday...I think Monday is the most frequent day of the year! by MaxfTV

I: How did you spend the weekend?
It was boring, without jokes.
Have I slept on the internet?
He: Kakal and Eat...
He: rather the opposite.