bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №57766
 24.12.2011
Shop of children’s toys, dialogue of buyer(s) and consultant(s):
Q: Do you have soft horses?
K is no.
Q: And the hard ones?
Q: He sits behind the box.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №57765
 24.12.2011
Hello, I have a new pet!
What, did the guy find himself?

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №57764
 24.12.2011
XXX: Take this session. While teaching discreet mathematics, he forgot the passwords from two mailboxes.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №57763
 24.12.2011
About sex :
XXX is great! There was no such thing in the lab, but I was for it! 😉
yyy: in the laboratories is dangerous)) stuck the wrong cane - and everything he was proud of all his life and what he lived with - silently drops on the floor... =(
YYY (RofL)
xxx: Or a high-voltage installation on the cross-platter... The ejaculate stream breaks through the brick wall and wounds the lecturer in the neighboring audience!
XX: It seems I just invented a great anime, right?

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №57762
 24.12.2011
From the ASK:
>["Jewish" 23:15:38]
> I am not good.
< [I 23:15:47]
< Who are you?
> ["Jewish" 23:16:42]
Damn, I don’t like when I’m putting questions into an impasse.
< [I 23:17:10]
< Reply Who are you?
> ["Jewish" 23:17:40]
> I am a fucking man
< [I 23:18:12]
< Man fucking O-o is like a cloak just flat?


[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №57761
 23.12.2011
A tank-like conductor today in the bus shrugged the elbows of everyone on her way, bursting under her nose: "All thick, I am one thin."

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №57760
 23.12.2011
From the Dialogue:

Fuck, I didn’t sleep again.
Yes, I understand you, women demand a lot.
- Ugo, clean up, wash the dishes and put the socks in place...

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №57759
 23.12.2011
My mother sent me for bread in the morning, and I met the wolf on the way. He came home at night with a cry:
I’ll go fishing, I’ll go fishing.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №57758
 23.12.2011
I am serious! Make a backup before it is too late.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №57757
 23.12.2011
I ask my father: “Are you going to a rally?” he said: “Thank you, but we have already fought against scammers, thieves, and one-party... for Yeltsin, for freedom... dumb.”

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №57756
 23.12.2011
S: I recently played in the bf, I watched the aska, I think "what the shit there writes"
S: Opening up
Y : Y?
S: And there a friend writes "you’re like that you play in a bf and you think "who is there writing me a shit"";

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №57755
 23.12.2011
I have two friends, both electricians, both of whom love to bounce. They come home like one of them. Mother is on the threshold: there is no light in the kitchen.
They: It is not a question of where the twist was heated, we will do it now.
I came to them in the evening.
I: Is this a mess for you, the repair lost?
They: yeah fucking all the wiring has already lifted all the switches and the front of the box, we do not understand what it is about.
I : I understand. Hopefully I forgot to check.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №57754
 23.12.2011
xxx: In fact, Snow White is his daughter, her mother - Spring Beauty, in my opinion))
YYYYYYYYYYYYYY Morose’s wife is Vuga, their daughter is Spring, and Cneagurk is the daughter of Spring.

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №57753
 23.12.2011
The broken Google.
Learned about the hot trousers problem: my phone got hot while trying to sync the account :)

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №57752
 23.12.2011
Why is your mother not married?
dashik: bээээ.. mnnээээ.. here imagine - my notebook is in repair, on the compass collapsed axis, only her netbook works. In two days I can't stand, I steal into the kitchen. In the kitchen from the netbook oret... koooooraaaabl waieieje... I taak love thist stroooooy. Mother, standing on the table, makes an extraction. I get a screwdriver on my forehead and promise to get a tester in my eye if I tore her book. after my complaint: I would have the internet, well, for at least half an hour, without leaving the board and waving the tool, I read a lecture about the bios and the configuration of our comp, my mommy's own hand collected. And they bless: Go baby, you already know everything.
Nastik: and what?
Dashik: At two o’clock in the night, I appreciate the working extractor, the mother knocks her tongue and criticizes the wood on the meter, working a compass.
Your mom knows how to repair the clothes.
Dash: No is not. It costs everything. And if we break the extraction, I will be read a lecture on the principles of the extraction and they will say: go baby, you already know everything... and I will go... and I will repair...

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №57751
 23.12.2011
XXX: Have we been charged in advance?
YYY: 15 more numbers
XXX: What is the thread above?
xxx from above
YYY: Officially sealed
YYY: Although, in general, it is so.

[ + 58 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №57750
 23.12.2011
Mountainous elves: I hate adult life. When I was a child, I dreamed of being a mermaid, flying to the moon, having a pony. And now the limit of my dreams is to sleep, eat and live to my salary.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №57749
 23.12.2011
We have a server hanging, come.
Call the system admin... Fuck, I eat!

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №57748
 23.12.2011
If you want to enchant anyone - you can read the spell over my wife's soup: there is also cabbage :(

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №57747
 23.12.2011
Russians are victims of negative stereotypes. Everyone thinks of them as drunkards and drunkards, and this is so enough that they are often drawn to eat and give someone in the teeth.

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