My neighbor has a perforator, but I have a piano. Repairs are over, and music is forever.

The whole area thought of me as a joke, because every night I almost came home in different cars. Absolutely different. Years ago, Edison was back. The taxi in which I was served, in the dark hours of the day preferred to travel exclusively on cars without shacks. The cooperatives were made up of guys who, for reasons not understood to me, did not use the identification signs (well, maybe they were ashamed to tax, although this is a shame) and it was for this reason that the whole district idiot thought that I gave everyone to the right and to the left. And I took a taxi almost every day because the organization I worked for didn’t want to pay the bank if we didn’t have time to get to them with money. The point is that at that time I was 18, and I was a virgin. From a neighbor whom I met later, years later, I learned that the entire district people thought I had died somewhere from AIDS, because I give everyone right and left. I just moved. This is how rumors are born.

The best mirror measure is if our authorities in Moscow also begin to confiscate the funds of officials obtained by criminal means!

Last day of the week. In the dormitory, an uncomfortable student, in the light of a desk lamp, draws a drawing of the A2 format. At night, the long work is finally over. I left the drawing on the table dry.
The sausage will not dry completely soon - sugar is added. This was done in our time by real esthetics - all the elements of the drawing were made voluminous and in a special gloss.
The eternally hungry cockroaches found nothing to eat from the eternally hungry students.
P.S The poor man received. Missing, at first glance, the drawing, when carefully examined, turned out to be quite readable, and the laughing reed - a man.

The UK has suspended the supply of spare parts for Rolls Royce and Bentley to Russia.
I am shocked: this is a knife in the back!

My cat got upset. It is very likely that the UK is behind this, as there is no other plausible explanation.

We live on the 1st floor of the 5th floor house. And so it happened that from the side of the garden we have an open door and we use it. We have a local cat. He does not ask for food, and even if you try to give him a sausage or something like it will not be. They don’t just give up milk. The cat is basically half the street floor of the home of those he knows allows to himself. And then this cat is sitting on the doorstep of our house and I hear my mom mocking him. I say you go here useless, you spread the flea, you go to work, you will live there and catch mice. She works in a large hospital. In general, the Cat listened to everything he was told and left for his business. The next morning, before everyone went to work and study. At our doorstep we found the body of a large rat with a slow throat. A rat the size of a cat. After that, the cat's mother no longer cried and began to pour milk on him. With such a meat diet, it is now clear why he doesn’t eat anything and asks only for milk. From this we can conclude that our smaller brothers understand us perfectly. At least those who live among people.
by PS. He didn’t bring us rats anymore. He looks around 1-2 times a week, drinks milk and leaves for his business.

And does it not seem strange to you that no Russian deputy or official has stated that in protest against the expulsion of Russian diplomats he sells all real estate in the EU or the United States and takes his family to Russia?

Once I rented an apartment and next to it, behind the wall, (but the apartment went out to the neighboring entrance) a woman lived, forever struggling with her dog.

The poor dog got everything:

“With dirty legs,”

for not eating properly,

And for eating around the bowl,

and for the “Cobelin, where do you prey.”

And she cried, "I'd better have a pig, eat less, and then you can hit."

I was very sorry for the dog. And then one day she discovered that she had no dog, only her husband.

Stuttgart in Germany. I do not speak German well, I need to call on the phone, I try to find out if they speak English.

I’m Speechen Zhi English (do you speak English? ) is?

There is shit.

I’m Russian, I’ll be Russian too.

Sasha, I wanted to ask you. The task is what...

Do you have advice or advice?

What is the difference?

Advice is free, advice for money.

The advice, of course!

My advice is to sign up for a consultation.

Love is when everything is clear without words, and what is clear is unclear.

I am sitting at work, calling from an unknown number:
A girl’s voice.
and yes.
A little silence, he said:
Is Irene at home?
You may have been wrong.
Probably... sorry.
It would be nothing, but then on my number comes a SMS from her:
“Iris, you didn’t give me that number. There was a man who answered. [...]

Yesterday we fought for socialism with a human face. Now we are fighting for capitalism with a human face. In other words, we lack a human face.
© Mikhail Zhvanetsky

So it turned out that immediately after the wedding, my wife and I rented an apartment in a panel house carefully above the apartment of my parents. On one of the summer evenings we lie down with the newly appeared wife, watching some movie, the time was around 23:00. Even in the evening, but hot, the city is south, the humidity is high. And I have a couple of bottles of cold Miller beer in my refrigerator. Well, I quickly walked into the kitchen, pulled out the bottle, opened it and went back to the bedroom, as there was a phone call. It was my mom who said the following: “Don’t go barefoot, you’ll get a cold!“”

She said, “In court, the rich man always wins the poor man, and in street fight, the opposite.” This is the success of many revolutions.

told a acquaintance.
I went to the clinic for a gun certificate (he is a hunter). You need to go to a psychiatrist. I go into the office, I see: my grandmother is seventy years old, a kind of God’s puppy in a white cloth. I already forgot when the last time in the clinic saw a doctor in a capsule, but not the point.
“Sit down,” bubbles the grandmother, writing something on paper. I sit down. I put a runner on the table. I sit. and silence. It is written by man. I quietly chew the rubber (I just smoked, well, so that the smell less...). The grandmother, not leaving the papers, asks:
Do you know that chewing a chewing gum in the presence of a woman is inappropriate?
I apologize, bump something about smoking and the desire to reduce the smell, take out the rubber and stick it into a cigarette pack.
Grandma also, without looking at me, without breaking away from the papers, takes my runner-up, writes something and comments:
It is easy to be influenced by others.
I was slightly squeezed:
Sorry, but you said it yourself.
Grandma (but not raising her head and continuing to write):
Prone to aggression.
I have a breath in my stomach from the indignation of the sperm, but the inner voice whispers: “Silence, fool!” He is not a fool. We sit. and silence. Three minutes. 5 minutes. My grandmother, without tearing her eyes off the papers:
It easily falls into depression.
I begin to think that I am not about not getting a certificate now, I will be picked up with flashes, I am stuck and I decide to keep silent even stones from the sky.
We sit. and silence. Three minutes. 5 minutes. Somewhere minutes after ten, the grandmother finally raises her head and with the astute-harmful look of the old lady Shapoklyak throws me:
Go on, the hunter.

If the conversation does not stick, try to treat it with alcohol.

In her youth she worked as a translator for a foreign humanitarian organization that identifies cases of “sexual abuse of minors.”
It did not work for long – it was difficult even to translate the reports of our “field agents” who worked with the affected children. A terrible statistic that the vast majority do not even know.

Alkashi rented the children to friends for a bottle. A grandfather for years raped his granddaughter, threatening to kill his mother. Six-year-olds in the crowd are washing over second-class children right behind the school. A man gives a student money to bring the boy out. A seller in the store for a year forces the girl to come to him regularly, threatening that otherwise he will rape her little sister. The mother puts her daughter under her father’s arm so she doesn’t leave.
Often these are well-off children, the environment does not even suspect what is happening to them, specialists have to work long and hard.
To trust them and tell them.
The children do not believe they will be saved. Children know what you will say: I invented it, I provoked it, it is my fault.

Shame on all of you who say so. I see there are many of you here.

pvgreshn: And about Gazprom... we bought furniture from this organization’s representative office.
And it turned out that due to the rounding, the shipment documents were one penny less than they listed for us.
Well, we were just going to write it off - Ann is not refusing!!! to
The accountant called them and had brains so that we could return them (the penny) to their account.
And the argument that the payment one will cost 50 rubles on her has no impact. In the bank we naturally sent with a penny - did you say what? Did you drop a penny from the list?! to
Well, we told them so and so... and then we will bring the case to court!!! Go back!! to
We are an email address - that the bank payments less than the ruble does not accept our...
So they said - okay, then our representative will come to you to give out of the box!!! From the box!!! and a penny!!! to
We met him with the whole company, solemnly!!! I have been looking for a penny for a long time to calculate!!! All acts by order, from him authority to receive - dop. The return agreement!!! to
And he finally settled out!! Otherwise the prize would not be given.
So is this?! to