bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №140063
 30.03.2017
We came with a colleague to the gas station, where you first pour gas and then pay. He filled the car, sat in the car and walked ten meters - parked near the gas station. We got out of the car and went inside, I bought a snack, and a colleague paid for gasoline. We were barely hit by a guard at the door. The bullet flew and ran somewhere. Well, okay, everything happens... We approach the box, and there some panic engines. My colleague of the cashier asks if it is possible to pay for Benz. She apologizes and asks to wait, takes the phone and calls the police. The reason for the call was that they poured gas and left without paying. At this time the guard runs, breathes out: gone, shit! I thought, is it really so? The cashier prepared to accept the payment, a colleague named the number of the column. There was a pause... In general, the cashier asked not to leave the column before paying.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №140062
 30.03.2017
XXX Business Lunch
XXX: +10 to sleepiness.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №140061
 30.03.2017
For some reason, people who say something like “Well, you should be stressed!” usually don’t mean themselves.

[ + 44 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №140060
 30.03.2017
Late at night, when my parents are asleep, my boyfriend climbs to my window (private sector) and we do our "business"... Yesterday: the hour of night, the height of sex, I am on it. The blanket slipped and rolled somewhere on the floor. Suddenly the door opens, Mom falls, sees me in all its beauty and dyes at the threshold of what I saw... All I could do is say, “Ma, look, how I can!”

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №140059
 30.03.2017
As a response to the opposition, officials are planning to go to the rally with posters "Corruption - our future", "Hands away from my yacht", "On TV did not show - there is nothing", "Fall the breakdown for a house for shelters", "My flashlight - my rules" and "I am a patriot - I steal only in Russia!“”

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №140058
 30.03.2017
by Andrei Bla
I was expelled from the couple.
Andrei: How
Andrei: I sleep
I am waking up.
Andrei says
Andrei:"You are being thrown out"

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №140057
 30.03.2017
<ZeroUnity> Have you ever thought that a prison chamber is just a kind of toilet cabin, extra equipped with a bed?
<ZeroUnity> And all prisoners are largely just people buried in the toilet.
<ZeroUnity> * closed.
<Sabrina> "Buried in the bathroom" =). Is this something from the work of Stephen King?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №140056
 30.03.2017
From the spaces of GJ, discussion "Ulisse":
X: Read by Jung. If worms were endowed with literary abilities, they would write using a sympathetic nervous system instead of a missing brain. From this time on, the predominance of psychic and verbal automation and complete neglect of any informative meaning. I suspect that something similar happened to Joyce, and that here we have a case of peripheral thinking with a strict ban on cerebral activity and its submission to the process of perception.
Y: Yung ordered jeans with payment in a row? In order to stretch the phrase "unknown h*йня" in this way, there is a need for extraordinary talent.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №140055
 30.03.2017
The boy wore his girl's sapphera suit (36kg) Stones to video:

Chddd1: I have the same movements in the morning when I have to go to work.

S.cream: Try sleeping without a sapphire suit.

Chddd1: Also say that the bath without it should be taken. Is there a war, and I’m not ready?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №140054
 30.03.2017
The Translator

Do you know Maria Spivak? Liho so translates names-names, even where it does not seem to be necessary, one Evil God of what is worth.
Feelings of Shuppo

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №140053
 30.03.2017
Topic on the forum:"Did you know that Diana Gurskaya is not blind?".

Why not be blind???I was running naked in front of the telephone while she was singing. Piped...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №140052
 30.03.2017
Cut already on the nose that when divided by zero infinity is not possible. The operation of dividing into a zero by folding element is not defined in the axiomatics of actual numbers. The result does not exist by definition. The boundary transition from division, which sometimes gives infinity (0/0, for example, can give anything: zero, constant, infinity) is a fundamentally different from division operation, which has nothing to do with it. May Zoroastrian be with you!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №140051
 30.03.2017
1> Moscow on April 2 will take part in the international action "Fire Blue"
2> Every Friday we light blue without any action.

[ + 33 - ] [18 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №140050
 29.03.2017
Fbhasia is better than any overseas resort.
I’t say. He was in Abkhazia and Vietnam. Vietnam liked it much more. Travelled wild on a motorcycle. There is no theft, all Vietnamese are friendly and help in everything. My wallet fell out of my pocket while I was riding a motorbike. So the Vietnamese carried 2 quarters to get my wallet back.
In Abkhazia, if an aboriginal finds your wallet, it will also just fly on the wings of 2 quarters, and if necessary, more. On the other side of you.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №140049
 29.03.2017
It was in the Soviet era. I am 12 years old, a city resident. Grandma in the village. We will go to her in the evening. Clock at five. The adults were busy, and I was sent out for a walk. I go home at 5 p.m. and there is no one. A note and money on the table. I thought they had agreed at five and left without me. I catch the money, run to the bus, to the station, the electric, the village, the grandmother. Grandma is digging in the garden, looking at me: and you came alone? Where are the others? I look at her incomprehensively. I remember the paper. I get, I turn. I read, “Son, come down for bread, we will soon be...”

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №140048
 29.03.2017
Suddenly read the name of one of their nearby grocery stores (bakery, cookery, buchlo): "Taste"! Fuck, let’s record the series: Taste, Taste, Smell...

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №140047
 29.03.2017
“Human disputes are endless, not because the truth is impossible to find, but because those who argue seek not the truth, but self-affirmation.”

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №140046
 29.03.2017
by Pikachu

Talk about the graduate work on the HUDGRAPH.

Q: How is the protection of such a diploma? The Technician)
U: You bring a picture to watch, you wait two hours for a bunch of teachers to reach it, they look at it for 30 seconds, they say, “Wow, you’re going to go,” and they write a like in a note.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №140045
 29.03.2017
As a response to the opposition, officials are planning to go to a rally with posters "Corruption - our future", "Hands away from my yacht", "On TV did not show - therefore, nothing happened", "Past the porvo for the house for escape", "My flashlight - my rules" and "I am a patriot - I steal only in Russia!".

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №140044
 29.03.2017
Today, the Federation Council approved a bill on the exemption from taxes of Russian citizens who have fallen under sanctions.
Do you know what the formulation is? But such "forced in connection with sanctions permanently reside in Russia"
Do you understand? Forced residence of an oligarch in Russia is equal to torture and needs compensation from the state. It would be funny if it wasn’t so sad.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna