bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149285
 23.02.2018
X: 20,000 years ago, hunters learned to separate the animal from the herd before slaughtering. Animals began to perceive people much more calmly - killing scares them. Someone from the herd may have gone missing. How stupid they are!

Y: I’ve seen it somewhere. When an employee is fired, his/her colleagues withdraw them from the workplace under various pretext. Because to know that a colleague has been fired is nonsense. But to see how the boss ("faultlessly, without declaring war") throws Vasa on the frost they should not. It traumatizes their psyche. They begin to look for another job, the hoodies fall. The bears are like people.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149284
 23.02.2018

Where do they go? Why do you, honestly, find a pond of ponds in the inner world, but not in real life? How would I dream of meeting one who is not ashamed of his age, but proudly carries his personality through life, without masking it with tons of cosmetics and other stupid tricks.

It is simple here. Or we are married. We are not looking for a couple. We do not need to like anyone, we are not interested in public opinion and "pressure". Only to meet by chance.

[ + 17 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149283
 23.02.2018
Epos "How the Ukrainians won the Second World War" - from black sea diggers

Say, I am constantly encountering this "joke" about ancient wreckage. And where can you read about what the Ukrainians say? Google only publishes references to Russian reports and broadcasts that reflect this. It makes the impression that the chips from the series "I invented, I laugh".

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №149282
 23.02.2018
Irbis: Since the beginning of 2018, American media has been telling stories of people who receive mysterious packages through Amazon. In them - goods that they did not order (including sexual); who sent them and why - is unclear.

Sega: Here’s where all the fucking mail of Russia, and you’re fucking fucking.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №149281
 23.02.2018
As much as someone is smarter - so he is either on a tractor, or to go to the village in the castle wants a salary higher than Moscow.
— — — —
And what kind of fear should a man want the worst, and with the loss of money? And don’t talk about salaries in Moscow and not in Moscow. The job of a professional is not so much different. You need to pay the grandmother. Eat what they give. The sent specialists in the USSR provided at least some housing, and what does the private business give? Is there no choice and no prospects? Here's the result for you, since the tractor is better than your salary.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149280
 23.02.2018
XX: It’s almost like cuddling a cat or cuddling a dog. Funny is. As if we communicate.

yyy: Teached the cat to mew on my "Say mew!". The cat is wild. The guests are pache.

yyy: It is simple, but long: from time to time we say to the cat "say meu". Sooner or later, she will accidentally respond. We praise. Then fix the effect in the same way. We do not crack at all! Success is praised, success is not ignored.

YYY: By the same way, you can teach anything to any thoughtful student from humans) Or, in a more delicate way, there are no thoughtful students, there are only incompetent or too hasty teachers.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №149279
 23.02.2018
Do the Poles wear Czechs and do the Czechs dance Polish?
You will laugh, but Polish was invented in the Czech Republic.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №149278
 23.02.2018
The Home Economy
Managing a house, if you live alone, is extremely simple. If you spend 15 minutes cleaning every morning (optional) with music, then you’re always in order at home. If you spend half an hour a day (and this is a little, especially for music/radio) - you walk every day in tight clothes and loaded shoes. Fast food is now a wagon and a small cart: eggs; cabbage, which was poured into the water and left until the timer called; pasta with various sauces, etc. If you combine such lazy cooking and cleaning, then the time expenditure is quite minimal, and the exhaust is stable and always delightful. (Toilet, by the way, do not need to wash at all - pour for the night "Domestos", and in the morning the point is white).
Another thing is when you live with someone. Here all kinds of things begin, and do me something, and why did you not do this, and was it hard to guess how to do it, and where are my cowards (how do you not know it?).And the care of the home becomes a heavy duty. The only way out, but also not a panacea, is to strictly delineate the spheres of responsibility and accept the imperfection of the world.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №149277
 23.02.2018
Discussing the Minister’s statement that “if a woman had seven men before the birth of a child, it means 100% infertility.”

XXX: The number is so magical. Where is the overflow of the byte variable happening?
XX: Oh God, this proves that our world is a computer simulation.
XX: And this is just a bug, the programmer did not bet that the number of partners can be more than 7

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №149276
 23.02.2018
xxx: Intensive course in Notepad++ is needed first

Yyy: Young man, you don’t seem to understand the whole depth and breadth of this topic. For all Notepad+ specialists and experts, this sounds as ridiculous as, for example, “an intensive course on professional treatment of all wounds without SMS and registration” or “a three-month bucket camp for re-qualification from a KFC worker to a nuclear plant designer.” Normal knowledge of Notepad++ includes a number of disciplines, each of which has one or more courses, namely: Creation of files in Notepad++, Save files in Notepad++, Editing files in Notepad++, Working with the help in Notepad++, Safe and efficient use of tabs in Notepad++, History of Notepad++, Philosophy of Notepad++, Logic of Notepad++, Fundamentals of Notepad++ management, Labor Safety and Safety Techniques when working with Notepad++ and some others.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №149275
 23.02.2018
If there were a democracy in Britain, there would be no Muslims.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №149274
 23.02.2018
The story of 32-year-old Ahmed, who lives on an allowance issued for six of his children and two wives, is becoming popular on the web. Consider, the dream of the mercenary from Syria safely fulfilled in Germany.
German media for the second day discusses the story of a 32-year-old Syrian refugee named Ahmed, who lives with his whole family in a large house provided by the government. The man is not ashamed to tell reporters about his luck:
Ahmed told reporters that he was very grateful to Angela Merkel, who literally embodied his dream: he lives in a well-maintained and safe European country with his entire family on the money allocated by the state. “She is the only person who sincerely felt the suffering of the Syrians. I also thank all the Germans for their compassion for my people.”
In addition to the fact that the man does not work, the German indignation is caused by the presence of two wives: Ahmed was allowed to transport his second wife to the country, although polygamy is prohibited in Germany. Syrians can attend free language courses and are offered opportunities for employment. But a man does not even think about working: the benefits allocated to a large family are enough to live for his pleasure. In his homeland, Ahmed worked as an unskilled worker, and he is also illiterate.
Interestingly, his second wife married when she was only 13, which is also prohibited by German law and cannot be legitimate. My first wife at the time of marriage was 14 years old. Ahmed calls himself a faithful Muslim and refers to the norms of Sharia.
Of course, there is no charge for the house: everything is free. Of the additional slits - a fireplace and a large flat TV. Ahmed told reporters he wanted four wives and ten children.
When uncomfortable questions became too many, officials referred to the interests of minors, explaining that asylum was granted in accordance with all the rules. Activists are trying to file a lawsuit against the district authorities for propagating polygamy.
In the comments, the Germans estimated the maintenance of one such family at 7000 euros a month, which is not in the normal logic. The indignants write that this can be achieved by working up to 70: “Medical insurance, dental protheses, housing, bus and pass, international driver’s licenses, free Wi-Fi and all this for free! The main requirement is that you are not a German!!!”

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №149273
 23.02.2018
In Russia there is a thousand-year tradition: from generation to generation, from father to son, from one social system to another, the dream is transmitted that the people in the richest country will live well.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №149272
 23.02.2018
and Morg. An unfortunate winter morning. Sad and sleepy students stand around the corpse. They are waiting for a pathologist who will teach them to do their discovery.
And here he appears. And right from the threshold, joyfully and with a shade of sympathy:
Are you so sad guys? Has someone died?

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №149271
 23.02.2018
Get it here! Comfortable with these successful men with prostitutes, COMFORT. With a normal self-sufficient woman, they will begin to complex - boys also suffer from sexism and many have a cursed brain on the topic of "exploiters" - in the end, a psychiatric shift "if she doesn't need my iPhone, then I don't need her - it's unclear how to behave with her at all, I'm looking for someone easier." Men are dull lazy to show individual attention, and there are consciously selected dolls, whose eyes are easily poured with wine, whose mouths are clogged with chocolate and who, as a child, will enjoy a hat, an iPhone, a wreath of red roses or some other pointless figure.
These are the spiritual brothers of women who feel useless if they do not lease the mansion to a husband who could hire ten cleaners if he wishes, but the wife would perceive this as an attempt on her marital duties.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №149270
 23.02.2018
xxx: The British nervous lazy apathetic shit. I say to you as a master of two. Now I have a Kuril bobtail, heaven and earth compared to the British.
I am about animals.

YYY: xxx, are they also animals for you?! to

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №149269
 23.02.2018
#Forsage

>> Have you ever heard of sandwiches?

Faster than sandwiches - alternately bite from uncut ingredients. It can be done at the same time if the size of the hole allows.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №149268
 23.02.2018
You only have big ones.

You are like small straight.

I will never understand those... men who... continue to live with their invisible strawberry... or a completely brainless doll. This is Nafiga?

Looking for a new year is no longer the fact that it will be better.

If you look, filtering exclusively by the size and elasticity of the chest and ass, forgetting to look at what kind of person is attached to them, then yes, you will have to go back and forth, unless you are lucky to find a good and beautiful one.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №149267
 23.02.2018
The acquaintance had grown a beard for a long time, and then he had to go to another country for business. Before the trip, he decided to shave his beard. To the colleagues, in order not to stop asking how and why, explained as follows:
-I fly a low-cost airplane "I know", there for the beard a supplement is taken. I decided to save.
The most interesting thing is that 80 percent believed.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №149266
 23.02.2018
by the seas, playing, wearing with the mine-bearer

>> Let’s say the wife of Uncle’s is clearly physically stronger than him, and how?

Well, Vujicic is rather an exception, do you know many people with disabilities with this attitude to life?
Overall, the message is true. Do women in CM-MS and at least in athletics (and they can be stronger than the average worker of mental work, for example) marry exclusively men stronger than themselves? How do they find out? Struggle and lifting weights in the care stage?

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