He: Do you love me?
She is: Yes!
He: And for what?
She: Because you love me.
If I love you, will you also love me?? to
She: No, but I will love you for a while, and then I will destroy you.
He is: O_O

WOW: We take a bilateral scotch, we roll it into a tape of mobius and it... is one-sided!
Q: Have you tried this with a bilateral agreement?

King and Shut · Nautilus Pompilius · B-2 · Splin · Ranets · Ocean Elzi · Mummy Troll · Agatha Christie · Other similar performers...

Let them go with such comparisons in g+op.

Even courtesy is taught!

The Fire

Time of action is the end of the 80s. Moscow Technical University.
An old five-story building in the center of Moscow, near the Clean ponds.
Due to the shortage of space on the roof made a small wooden superstructure
A sixth floor, a house on the house.

At the entrance to the institute, it is supposed to be installed a bodyguard. During the day the brave boys guard, at night the grandmother. On the watch, it is believed, there is a safety and fire alarm control - a panel with two dozen ordinary 25-watt bulbs painted in red with oil paint (USSR, however). The light bulb is constantly burning - everything is fine, it began to blink - either someone entered the window, or a fire in the appropriate room, you need to go check. Explain why in
In the "quiet" situation, it is burning, not turned off: if it burns, it means that the system is fine, otherwise - either the light bulb has overburned, or the electricity has been turned off, according to the official instructions, the watchman must report to the emergency.

As usual, in the night shift the grandmother enters by the rule of "guard sleeps - duty goes". And these ugly bulbs, although low-powered, but many of them, interfere with sleep, shine in the eyes. Therefore, at night, they are slightly twisted out of the bullets so that the basement does not reach contact and it is dark.

Once again, employees from the wooden superstructure, leaving the work, did not turn off the fan standing on the window. At night, the curtains drowned in the blades, and the fan stopped. The engine from overload began to heat, and eventually the plastic body of the fan, and with it, the curtain, burned.

The alarm may have tried to inform the watchman of the smoke in the room, only the bulbs are twisted and the syrene either didn’t work or was turned off for the same reason as the bulbs. But the phone ringed – one of the residents of the local houses saw smoke and decided to report. Where he took the number of the service history is silent, I will only say that once I easily found the number of the reception commission of this institute in the phone directory of 1985. The grandmother walked 5 floors (the elevator does not go to the roof), made sure that there was no fire, and, deciding that it was a joke of students, turned off the phone, so that the sleep was not disturbed.

When the building on the roof engaged in open fire, the very conscious citizen called no longer the guard, but the firefighters. They arrived, they struck up quickly. As a result, of course, explanatory conversations, instruction on safety equipment, etc. The building did not suffer, only removed the remains of this ugly shark from the roof.

And all the comicity and irony of this story lies in the fact that the burned room was a labor protection and fire department.
the safety.

The advice to everyone who puts soup on the plate and goes to the computer: take a spoonful with you. This item will remind you that you are cooking something.

From Twitter:

@gagar1n
I insure against non-payment of insurance and let my insurance company divide by zero!

Give me a kiss,
Child (2,5 years old): not
Father: good girls give a kiss,
No – good girls don’t give!

Parents, please mark your female children with tattoos with the date of birth in a prominent place. This will save you not only your nerves, but also budget money, which will be directed to the maintenance of a simple Soviet man in the colony.

Streetmack: After reviewing all of the X-Files series, I couldn’t figure out where my socks were going from the box. Why are they all different...

XX: Did you have a lot of people at the end?
WOW is different. Someone came and someone left. 7 was constant.
and the norm)
The dog rolled
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
WOW: Someone found a taxi and picked up for us. Until the morning they did not pay attention to her, and from the morning everyone was in shock of where she came from.
Theme : (rofl)
Tag: showed himself
Wait until you meet, you will not be noticed.
Here is the truth of life.

He: Good night
She is a bitch :D

With Dirty:

On the site of the Ministry of Defense, the development of which cost 36 million rubles, were placed such games as "Saper", "Tetris" and "Sea Battle", as well as "Test for military rank", which resembles fraudulent crafts with SMS.

i11ega1> "Saper" for engineering troops, "Marine battle" for the Navy, it remains to find out what kind of troops are needed to train "Tetris".
Gone> i11ega1: is it going?

From the mobile website:

-First who weighs the cell phone less, then who has more tones in polyphony, then who has more megapixels, then who has a larger screen, then who has a thinner cell phone, then who has more cores, and now we measure megapixels again? Degradation of something. Give us a new scarf!! to

Is it true that all women love Martini?
BBB is yes. Almost everything.
AAA: And that’s true, if the grandmother drinks martini, she’ll give it?
BBB: No, not all of it. For those who love Martini.

Sex is communication at the level of touch.
Most precious of all touches is the touch of the soul.
You can love the soul without knowing the body.
And then go crazy...
touching the body of a beloved soul.

What a pity that everything is not right now...all at the level of animal instincts...
Hopefully someone will think and think again...

XXX: Now the accountant has called. They ask what they do with the client – disgrace or enthusiasm?
YYY: O_O
XX: I suggested both.
xxx: First - the conquest of the contract, then the bribery of money. and read the instructions.

I go on bus number N, I see the bus turns in the wrong direction.

Bilitersa: don't worry, now we will turn, just the driver is new, the first time the bus drives, still does not know the route

One of the passengers: Like the first time the bus drives!? to

xxx: all the girls after the new year such cute steel
I fell asleep :D

[09:03:36] <LIS> forgot what people look like...
[09:03:44] <LIS> all salads and salads