When you work like a bee, life doesn’t seem like honey.

I work in a car service. A girl comes. He says, “I need to change candles and oil in the machine. It is urgently needed.” Running
by 32000. Candles were changed 2 thousand years ago, oil needed only 90 thousand. The candles are perfect. Oil in the machine too. Ask her a logical question:

Who told you to change that?
and husband. I said urgently.

We are confused. In a joke we say:

Maybe he just had to drive you out of the house?

She gets huge round eyes and she’s looking at the whole service:

Get out of it, I’ve flown!!! to

Chat straight even uncomfortable, suddenly the truth little burned))))

Dear Father Christmas! Give me a gift for the New Year.
President, and take these two with you in the deer!

And Mishutka saw his empty cup and said with a gentle voice:
Who has eaten out of my cup and eaten it all out?
And who did not apologize to me two weeks ago? Now I eat for two.

My cat eats cactus.

and licking the earth out of the pot

Is it time to feed him?

1 hour after sex:
It smells of sex and woman. and :)
Go and wash ;)

Now I have seen a guy claiming the title of the most foolish and caring man. I went home from the stop, the sidewalk is so frozen, I go and slide myself. At 20 meters, the above-mentioned went, slipped, began to fall forward, set out his leg to keep balance, continued to fall, but already on the side, again somehow aligned by fast overtaking his legs, now he was already flying straight into the road sign, and (!) He turned away. At the end of this dance, he once again slipped and, having made a pyrue, tastingly fell into the swarm, specially made by careful courtiers (as they knew), with the back back. As it turned out, all this time, he tried not to let the little dog fall out of his hands or be crushed by his body. When he approached to help, the victim was sitting in the grove and, turning to the dog on his stomach, said: "It's all right. The horrors are over. Thank you for not going out with Vika. She would be on her heels!" :D

And I was there, wi-fi caught. The network found, but did not give access.

I’ve never seen so many people celebrate Friday the 13th.

Delf: You know, I suffered a year without a girlfriend, do you know how I got? Do not know? But here I will tell you, Blin, I tried to talk to somebody, meet. But as a result, nine (nine) girls were turned from the door. Even my closest friends stopped communicating with me. And how? For a guy twenty-five years to lose everything and everyone. I thought I had gathered myself. No, I just got puzzled. Yes, this car, this work, this Moscow fucking, and just life has been strained!!! This is what it really means to be forever alone. And you are talking...
Do you have a key to 22?
Dutch : No. With 15 fingers.
Delf is trouble.
The girl is harder.
Delf: Well I don't know, the clock at 22 and the guy that without the key won't turn.

Comment on the video about a Japanese talented homeless singer:
"if it was in Russia then the video would be called THE GEST BOMB IN A MINUTE OF FAME!and "

The night. I sleep. Through my dream, I hear the wild cries of my cat. I get up with my eyes closed. I usually bite the mouth. I lie down with a clear conscience...And then I realize that it’s a cat’s whistle in the basement under the window. I start roasting wildly because I imagine myself in the place of a cat:
“I lie down, I sleep. I don’t touch anyone... The master stands up, beats the rod. Is it easier for you? Night is already. Go fuck, go to sleep.”

Have you invited the girl to visit? Do not forget to clear the history in the browser!

Sanook: Shit, she sent me printed photos, where we are together ^^

Chicken: How cute

Ahaahahahahahahahahahahah

Sanook:...

Fuck, it would be better if she finally gave me it :(

Do you say you don’t believe in signs? Have you tried to file documents for an apartment on the 13th floor on Friday the 13th with a consultant named Lilith?

I sat in the park on the bench, waiting for a friend. On the next bench, a young mother and her 5-6 year old son feed the pigeons. There is a small pond in front of us. The dialogue between mother and son.
Mother, give me bread, and I will feed the pigeons by the water.
Why feed them there?
I will throw bread into the water, and they will dive and drown after it.
Good kids are growing up.)

xxx: after watching 7 seasons of supernaturals in a row, when the word winchester is remembered, it is not a hard disk.

<Celebrity> Go to Heroes
<Grey> I have things to do (
<Celebrity> Run, go to the heroes
<Grey> I need to finish the project
<Full> then you finish, shake in heroes
<Grey> and the book on the net
<Overall> why are you all stressed? Go all naked.
<Total> learn to send people)
<Grey> Okay, go naked with your heroes!)

Why does Oleg not answer my calls?? to
He: Man may not respond for a variety of reasons, ranging from the banally crazy - abducted by aliens; and the original crazy - as a result of a chemical effect, a genetically muted rat, trying to make a toast, accidentally grabbed a bottle of alcohol, trying to catch which, shattered and, as a result, broke the cable, which hardened. Oleg came home at this moment, the rat from fear fell on his arms. Oleg did not expect to see a genetically muted rat with toasts, spilled alcohol and a sparkling cable, resulting in shock and hospital.

"Google told developers how to decorate Android apps"

I couldn’t read it right from the first time.