bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №58166
 04.01.2012
Max: On Friday I will take the cat from the lombard
Venus: What does he do there?
Max: We were very drunk on the New Year's march... the cat was laid in a lombard... the animal is dear, raised. In general, I found today in my pocket a paper saying that it needs to be purchased before Friday ((

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №58165
 04.01.2012
xxx: When I started running, I trained several exercises in turn to break off the left and right legs from the ground, it took more than a month to put them right on the ground.
As a result, he was able to run a kilometer in three minutes and twenty seconds.
A deadly resultant of some...
ZZZ: On one leg

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №58164
 04.01.2012
I am a programmer. I go, therefore, in autumn and winter in a coat and, I have to say, I have long, strained hair in the tail. I didn't have time to buy the desired hat, and now it's too cold, so I walk in the usual black hat, so I looked like a daddy. So, I’m going home today from training on the bus, I don’t touch anyone, suddenly a man(s) sitting behind me looks closely at me and suddenly there’s a dialogue:
Are you not a priest?
I am : No :)
M: And not an obedient?
I am : No :)
and pause.
M: Do you not cheat?
I : No. I am a programmer ;)
M: Aaa...
No more question is raised. O_O

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №58163
 04.01.2012
HHHH: Hi...
In short, the joke is that I now have unusual dreams.
I dreamed I was lying down and something hurt me and I can’t understand what. And I check every organ or part of the body pingom, fucking

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №58162
 04.01.2012
A post-year spontaneous party in my cousin’s apartment. He brought with him a friend (who lives in a private house) who had not known his sister before, but immediately put his eye on her. The sister, as usual, justifies her poor housing. A dialogue with my friend:
Sister: The little one, of course, is his own. Oh, and what would I give to live in a private house, without any neighbors, with flowers under the windows...
Boy: What is it, right? Are you serious? Give it all?
Sister, looking back at "Choroma": What, do I have something you need? (I think she is very naive.)
I will take everything up.
Who knows, maybe we’ll meet him soon 😉

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №58161
 04.01.2012
We sit with the younger - look at Shrek 1.

The end. A dragon enters the church. My brother betrayed.
Skyrim some.
and escapes.

[ + 39 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №58160
 04.01.2012
The largest dish in the world is a roasted camel. It is filled with lambs, which in turn are filled with chickens, which are filled with fish, and it is filled with eggs. This simple dish is prepared at a Bedouin wedding.
O_0

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №58159
 04.01.2012
Jamie
"Prince Harry returns to Afghanistan"
Volan de Monte killed and all, he thinks can go home?! to

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №58158
 04.01.2012
We have a beauty salon in the city "Trojan"
Address: Konev Street

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №58157
 04.01.2012
XXX: Shatunov can morally defeat the dragon
YYY: shedding his psyche with white roses
YYY: Dragon: FUS RO DAH!
Tagged: white roses

The dragon dies.

[ + 36 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №58156
 04.01.2012
I sat in the cafe today. I read a book on my iPhone, listened to music, and didn’t touch anyone.
Decided to look at real life - pulled out of his ears plagiarism and extinguished the screen of the phone.
Behind the table in front of me - a kind of maneuverable grandmother, a cigarette with a mouthpiece, eyes not loaded with intelligence - all things.
On the left is a bunch of classic hipster girls. The two in the hands of some beef mirrors, photographing themselves (yes! to myself! With extended hands!Girlfriends, desserts, blowing, fucking, the whole restaurant - I don't know how all the waiters have not yet blinded.
He turned his headphones back and turned on the phone. I didn’t like the real world.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №58155
 04.01.2012
Hello, I learned how to photograph fireworks!
YYY is class! What are you doing!
xxx - I have a mode "firework" on the camera.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №58154
 04.01.2012
I’m sitting in guests, enthusiastically reading "Metro 2033". There is an episode in which the main character is chased by mutants, and behind it is a whisper of an automatic air refresher.
Now I can celebrate the Day of the Builder.


[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №58153
 04.01.2012
My mom promised to bring me a wheel.
I: How about the hammer?

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №58152
 04.01.2012
Why are Daniel and I in a couple?
You have the same character.
WOW: What is his character?
Oh, he’s such a ballbuster.

[ + 42 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №58151
 04.01.2012
Can anyone explain to me, after purchasing a licensed film, what sort of scary inscription on a black background I must see from the first shot, frightening me with articles from the criminal code and promising to put me in jail for a few years?

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №58150
 04.01.2012
Girls in note. A fool is the same as a fool.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №58149
 04.01.2012
It was I who presented a friend with a salute “Garrem” last year.
The family celebrated the New Year in Moscow.

Well, when the president announced to the country that everything was fine, and it would be wonderful in general, Iljuha and Olga, together with all their fellow citizens, swallowed a bottle of wine, ate little, took a salute and went to the prospectus, where it was already rumbling.
And I explained to them that “Harem” is a combined salute. That is, there is first a beautiful fountain of fire, and then eighteen good hallways.
It is necessary, I said to Elijah, to put it in this way, and then burn it here and set it on fire. And then, say, go away and admire yourself.

According to Ilya, he did so.
Everything is shooting around, and in the sky it blows.
He did not hurry to prepare everything, looked around, convinced that no one was aimed at him with any "Roman candle", and at the same time no one steals, so as to shake "Harem" when he turns it on and runs away.

Well, he exposed the fitil, set fire and went away.

He told about this:
No, we did not see the fountain. It instantly smoke. somewhere,
I have a belt. I saw it on TV when I showed it.
Documentary about the landing of ships on the shore of the Maritime Division
The Infantry. One smoke, nothing is visible, and the commentator says that there is a division
And with tanks. Somehow you believe him. Everything grumbles and lies and
“Ura” is screaming.
At the same time, “Ura” is also shooting around.
and smoke.
And there, in the smoke, maybe there is a fountain of fire, if you didn’t fuck, I don’t know.
And people are standing around – their dohuya came out of the houses to shoot and watch.
And here they stand from the belt and above, looking astonished at the smoke, suspicious of us and Olga, and the shooting is silent.
No one is hunting to bend to burn another fitil.
You go down into that smoke, and there, you know. Maybe a Marine Division.

And it wrapped everything around. I already understood that the fountain was either fucking or we were crawling it for smoke, and I prepared my fingers on my arms and feet to count eighteen rounds.
And I also think, "And if this smoke instead of a fountain, what will be instead of the rails? »

Everyone around looks at us. Some other fools are afraid.
And why are we standing here, smoking everything, and we do not leave.

And then something broke in the center of our smoke, a sling broke out, as if this box had jumped and fell on the side, and the smoke had ended.
At that time, we were all in our hands and stuck!

What about those eighteen shots?! to
There were a lot of people there and without us.
They applauded only us.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №58148
 04.01.2012
Was it boring? Just send SMS: “I’m pregnant!” by a random number.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №58147
 04.01.2012
Silv_m> watched TV at dinner. Whether in 65, or in 1975, the French decided to launch a cat for the first time in space, long prepared for tests, trained a special cat Felix. One hour before launch, the cat escaped from the start complex.
Silv_m> caught a random cat that was on the cosmodrome, pushed into a capsule, launched, flew for 15 minutes, landed successfully, alive... came to pick it up, opened, she immediately also fled) a slide, somewhere in France the descendants of the space cat run.
Ell> They launched her journey in a box of cheese

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