Public Alcoholic: - Well in general, I saw on the dating site an advertisement of a guy of 27 years - intimate for money. I ask for interest – how much? He is 500 rubles and I am yours for the whole night. I write, the photo is out. She sends me a photo of her member ))))))))
I fucking, I say - fucking you sent me fucking, you are all there on one face, give yourself your face. He sent. Well, the guy is like himself - passes by - you will not notice. Okay, I say, give me the phone.
It gives. I call. What, I ask, is life like that that went into prostitutes? Well, in general, it turns out, he works as a guard, somewhere sleeps in the bedroom, and everyone wants to eat". I wanted to ask - and in no other way, but he interrupted me - type,

you want to talk for life - call, pay and fuck ))))))))) I already died there laughing - here is the fuck, invite him to you to cheat, feed, catch up and go on the way another five-hour sun
- and I say - okay, no problem, you will have a night and you will have money, I just have a maid. Only you have in mind - no one there to fuck, for you will be a special assigned role: you will stand in front of us naked in a white forehead with an apple on the head, and we will shoot him out of a gun. - he is so scared: from which? - I rju - well from the toy, of course, that you - he asks: and there are many girls? I’m 5 – what kind of one, agree? And he thinks and thinks so: No. I’m a cowboy, so do you? And he answers me, you won’t believe it! He said to me the fucker,
Because I am proud!

Real luxury is not measured by money, but by the amount of time a person can spend on creativity, without compromising the diet and the closet.

Play Off or Stone Age
The old KGBist Yuri Tarasovich provided me today with a delightful story from the fiery 90s. It was told by a friend and companion Tarasych on the dacha.
What horrors he sometimes did not fall on us, as long as the appetite disappeared and the snail in the throat did not slip (because he is also of meat...) But this is his story from the series - and it is most pleasant to remember and tell it is not shameful...
Now he is a retired colonel, and then, in the early 1990s, he was a captain and served in the city of hero Kiev:

Every day somewhere “shooters”, explosions, shootings, “confused rams”, and
Damn to crack. On a summer day, after another call,
I go with the group to the event.
A small building, almost in the center of the city. Parallel to the ambulance, we see - there are two cars, in front of the "Jigul" spinning in a bunch of sand, and behind the jeep "Cheroki". I’ve seen cars many times after the explosion, and at first I’ve done something against the infantry. On the jeep there is no whole glass, and there are characteristic incisions from fragments throughout the body, but at the same time the "giggle" has all the glass whole and no scratches at all. From the jeep, doctors pulled and transferred four brothers (the fifth was bleeding under the car) to all the fragmentary brain injuries, although there are no severe, three in consciousness, but on the faces of no whole fragment.
The injured brothers were taken to the hospital, and during the search of the jeep, in the reserve, we and our friends found a TT pistol with ammunition. Subsequently, two of them "settled" for a long time, and the other three managed to cope with severe fright (crackles in the bones of the skull, teeth broken, and one lost the eye in general). But I will not run forward.
They began to figure out – who exploded, who and what? Looking Uninjured
The driver is sitting with the eyes of a milk pig, who miraculously managed to spit out an apple and escape from the New Year's table.
We pulled the lucky man into the air, we are interested in the details of the events.
The man came to himself and said:
“I bombed quietly around the city, four girls aged fifteen to sixteen, ordinary ones, with bags and tennis rackets in coats, vote.
We sat down, we went. Here along the road - these injured bandits on a jeep, adjusted side by side, wreak, threaten. Whether I cut them off, or they wanted money from me for "shakes", and most likely - just my girls liked them. They scream that they will be shot and that I will not stop driving after them.
They came to this building, jeeped me to the sand, pulled me out of the car, knocked on my mouth, then took my passengers. They stood one foot, she cried, well, she got - her nose to blood was broken.
The other three under the noise ran to those heaps of sludge, scratched the rackets and took meters with seven, stones to shoot. You know them like guns. The shirts at first rushed to them foolish, and where there, only the mouths are rubbing...
They would be foolish. The straw drove into my head with such a terrible sound as the strawberries burst. So much so! Only the hands removed from the head, three or four stones get in there. It’s horrible, I haven’t even seen it in the movies. Tennis players surrounded them and rushed them back into the car, one under the bottom flooded. And the athletes all squeeze four in the jeep, the submissions work. Like a machine gun. The brothers tried to look, but quickly realized - to stay alive, the main thing is to lie below the level of the glass.
Apparently, the guard called the police and when your sirens were swinging in the distance, the girls hid their rackets and quietly went to themselves.

Tennis players I did not want to look for (the same grew), and the detainees did not insist, one thing - on the construction "in an accident", and another.
Playing with minors.

A drunken man from a distant village appeals at the city station to the police guard:
Hello, Comrade of Police, be kind.
Not a comrade, but a gentleman.
“Sorry, Mr police officer, be kind.
Not a policeman, but a policeman.
Oh oh! Sorry, Mr. Police... what do the Germans have been in town for a long time?

One day I saw a folder on our server with a spicy name "for outlets". After scratching my brain, I recalled that the "Withdrawal" is the nick of our lab assistant, not what I thought.

A neighbor asks when you’re going to get married.
Ask her when she will finally die.
Horror Oh, how evil you are.
What does it matter to me?
I want to sit at your wedding.
I am here and I am waiting for the same moment.

Fans of Babkina and Kadysheva are fighting for the chord.

Here are a few strategies,
in the first, it is the surrounding (the chord is captured in the chord, and the outer throws the inner with ballayas and paws)
Secondly, the chord can start to rotate at a high speed until it forms a vortex, which must be directed to the enemy chord.
The third way I would call "meting the core". The chord under the songs of the babkyna unfolds a small chain of people, and then launches it into Kadyshevsky. If you target well, you can destroy the enemy system and break the chain. In this (choroidal) form of battle, spies will be useful, who secretly penetrate the enemy's chord and turn it in one direction, then in the other, which confuses the ranks, breaks the chains and causes confusion.
Scarything

xxx: Can you tell me how to do it?
YYY: I tell you, I don’t know, ask Zzzz, he definitely did...
*xxx has added zzz to the general chat
ZZZ: All of us in this chat :*
*xxx removed zzz from shared chat
YYY: Yes, you did not ask very well. You are good, you reacted quickly.

Like life-experienced stalkers in the desert, they look at the tracks of passing travellers. When asked where to drink, they discussed for a long time whether you need water and always came to the conclusion that no, your brother water is useless. There are many reasons why it is better to live without water. And none of them will show which side of the well is. The IT Forum.

[03:23:07] <ghozefina> How much is the sum of angles in a rectangle?
[03:24:10] <ghozefina> Four-angle*
[03:24:23] <(=ShIzoIDuS=)> 360 degrees
[03:25:22] <ghozefina> Are you sure?360 is not a circle?
[03:25:58] <(=ShIzoIDuS=)> the sum of angles in the 4th angle is 360 degrees, there are no angles in the circle

A 3,5-year-old son plays a computer game "Treasures of Montesuma". The grandmother asks him: "You asked the kids in the kindergarten, someone in the computer is playing with them?" I say: "There half the children do not talk at all, who is there to ask?"))

He does not have a girl, even his fist turns away from him.
WOW: and snorting

KaCT: 2nd comment on the topic "driving sleep"
KaCT: "You can still argue with yourself, argue, let the fucking move for the boldness!"

I went to work in a new office. Well, as it goes, brought his cup, a tablespoon and coffee picked up.And on the coffee dropped on the half-tanner, his coffee stands on the table in the corner of it is not visible.I noticed that the last three days everyone drinks not coffee, but terrible quality and suspicious composition of green tea.
Now I pour boiling water, I pour sugar, I get enough coffee, I start to mix in complete silence (even the radio is silent).I turn around the whole office watching me with such big animated eyes, in the eyes of everyone the question is silent: You are drinking coffee? Yes, please take me whoever wants.
The accountant takes the bank and begins to hysterically roast!
Name of Coffee: Egoist
I don’t think it’s going to be a lot about me in the collective.)

(2011-10-19 23:26:36) xxx: and I am resting at work
(2011-10-19 23:26:50) xxx: beer here I drink
(2011-10-19 23:26:52) yyy: and I work at home
(2011-10-19 23:26:55) xxx: ahahahaha
(2011-10-19 23:27:07) yyy: if we meet, we will annihilate

As a child, it seems that life is a whole strawberry. As you grow up, you begin to realize that in the raspberry it was cracked...

What is the name of "Anime Plus"?
WOW: What is it for you?
I found out at work that this is: a bubble broth, a private psychiatric clinic!! to
UUU: and Sevastopol is a fun city, yes =))

We go out with the owner of the house after drinking out of the apartment, and in front of the door is painted some hernia with a black marker. A friend so outraged "that what a fool could do this... and all, remembered."

neo_O: Today I went to the office. on the floor is a microwave box and it is written with a pencil "Turn out?" and the signature "Cleaner"
Immediately came the thought to post below "Everything in this chat!" ^_^

xxx: how I had to sneeze, fucking allergy
yyy: they say that when sneezing a person gets a microorganism))
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah