bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 55 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №54524
 07.10.2011
In a few centuries, I decided to go to bed early. Only the eyes began to close, the cat, who always sleeps with me, began to wander around the house, throwing away everything he could reach, and uterus swing. Tired of cuddling on him (I do not do hand-and-tapping), I sat down to wander around the net - I still don't sleep. Soon the sleeping sister looks into the door: “Why are you not sleeping again?” The time is the third hour!" I, angry: "Will this foul infection let me sleep!" I turn around... and I see the cat rolling in the bed, stretching the legs, and diligently pretending to sleep (but I see how he looks!)

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №54523
 07.10.2011
I decided to drink a beer with a colleague a week after work at the parking lot. The next day I told a friend that yesterday I drank beer in the parking lot.
She: With whom? With the guards?
I: No, with a tanka
She is with the guard???! to
I: No, with the dog 😉
Three days later I see her status in aske : "Scandals. Show all that is hidden: the manager of a large company buffs on the parking lot with the dog Tanka"

[ + 58 - ] [8 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №54522
 07.10.2011
You can love or not love the "apples". It is not important. But it is impossible not to pay tribute to the man whose genius understood to have created a world leader. Steve has left us. We remember.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №54521
 07.10.2011
I realized that walking with you two is more enjoyable than with your friends.
Don’t wait for your turn to say something.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №54520
 07.10.2011
Ryuk
In the army, it’s a shit.

Nero
How about Session?
Or worse?

Ryuk
Session of FIGN
He came and gave

Nero
You are in the army. :D

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №54519
 07.10.2011
xxx: Shhas read in the tape that the U.S. Army is creating special units where gay people will serve. to warm.
YYYYYYYYYYYYY And the report from the site of the fighting will be about this: the tenth operational brigade named Elton John with a joyful gigantic journeyed through the main street of Kabul on new rainbow-colored dancers, amusing the sympathetic young Taliban who got on the way.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №54518
 07.10.2011
I sit in the kitchen and work. The son (a year and a half) walked around the couch around me, asked in the end a barrel, said “Thank you” and sat down with a serious look to roll her...three minutes passed...chucks...shurches...silence...looking, sitting, sitting on an empty fantic and shouting astonishedly: “Can’t be!”"

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №54517
 07.10.2011
I have a wonderful brown circle. I always drink coffee at the office. I came here this morning and she disappeared. I was upset. It is offensive. Mom’s gift... then look... there’s some kind of bowl, suspiciously similar to mine... but the white... turned out to be a cleaner with pity and washed it with soda...

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №54516
 07.10.2011
Marina is
If you were born without wings, don’t stop them from growing.

Stepan
And if you have wings, there is a good chance that you are a penguin or chicken.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №54515
 07.10.2011
Call for support:
Hi, I don’t have the internet.
What does he write?
There is no signal.
Amy, where is it written?
on the monitor.
Is your monitor connected?
No pause is

[ + 62 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №54514
 06.10.2011
A letter came for a refund of money for the goods, a scan of the manuscript. The authorship and punctuation are preserved.

"Please give me my money back in Switzerland.
What we bought in the store.
Block cannot enter the block.
Classmates and Playing Games
on 30 September.
Otherwise I will be forced.
It will be used in the proof"


[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №54513
 06.10.2011
The lunch break. The admin comes to the head.
Can I go online?
Admin: Do I have to?
Well... I must!
Well go out. Do not go to porn.
I don’t even know how to look for her!
Pause by admin:
We will learn!

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №54512
 06.10.2011
xxx: I woke up, I walk naked around the apartment with open curtains, I look in the window right in front of the window, the tractor stands with a trailer of garbage, all kinds of leaves are collected) I wear lenses, and there is another person with the tractor
YYY: Well that is good.
xxx: what a good thing
yyy: encouraged the fighters

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №54511
 06.10.2011
I have 3 pairs today.
I woke up early, I could sleep three more hours.
What is standing up? OO
Dad wakes up.
He got out of bed, said get up, and went to work.
The Troll Haylevel Emaye)

[ + 61 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №54510
 06.10.2011
Topic on the women's forum: "Married 2 months ago. Every day I try to prepare something interesting. And he still goes to eat with his mom."

So is.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №54509
 06.10.2011
We drink the budget.

We drink the budget. Be careful, this is a dangerous area!
We write the budget according to instructions, within the framework of the law,
We know all the mechanisms and the scheme is familiar.
We drink the budget. Above the wrist is a maneuver.

We drink the budget. We know passwords and pins.
We drink the budget because we are given the pile.
We sew bridges, squares, companies, wells, pipes;
We try to silence, but there are also bodies.
We drink the budget – it rarely goes without victims.

We drink the budget. Cold and furious. All of
We don’t care how we’re printed in "Forbes".
We will not hide and hide - we will open you the maps:
We drink the budget and we are paid for it.

We are paid for that. We do what we can.
Envy us, we are happy with everything we have.
We drink the budget - and we like this job.
For now, the losers! Smoke on the water.

Text-A. Vasilyev, group Splin

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №54508
 06.10.2011
From one forum:
Agent150: I’d like to show you a joke, but I’m afraid it’s a member.
oerbylive: Short and funny?
aaazzz: Long and bearded
Agent150: Stop laughing at my member

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №54507
 06.10.2011
One day, the peelmen called me crazy, and I boiled them in boiling water.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №54506
 06.10.2011
The xxx:
From today's trip to the band.
Duration: 365 days
The product:
1) "Jamm of apricot". Composition: apples, flavor identical to natural "abricos", dye "abricos".
2) "Smile of Strawberry" Composition: apples, flavor identical to natural "malina", dye "malina".

YYYY :
The list can continue:
3) "Pleasure of bread". Composition: apples, flavour identical to natural "quas", dye "quas".
4) "Fertilizer and vegetable oil". Composition: apples, flavor identical to natural "oil", coloring "oil".
5) "Toilet paper" Composition: apples, flavour identical to natural "paper", coloring "paper".
6) "Coffee is soluble". Composition: apples, flavor identical to natural "coffee", coloring "coffee".

I seem to have found the secret of low prices in Lenta...

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №54505
 06.10.2011
Features of admin handwriting: even written on paper passwords remain crypto-resistant.

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