bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №148745
 03.02.2018
Are you French?
and yes.
Can you say anything in Arabic?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №148744
 03.02.2018
xxx: What do you think first and foremost contributes to the prompt and correct collection of the Rubik’s Cube – good memory, attention, or the ability to identify patterns?
yyy: Physical strength, flat drill and glue.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №148743
 03.02.2018
of 2000 bills.

>>> A shit, a short, not a note. I did not like.

Give me

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №148742
 03.02.2018
Hi to. We have a fun company. The computer stood up because the thermopasta on the refrigerator dried up. Asked for a long time pasta from the warehouse, they do not give, they say, and you why, you have the organization serves computers. Therefore, it is more logical to pay the organization 2500 r., so that it will travel for 60 km of pasta for a refrigerator, than to let the regular programmer from the warehouse that pasta for 450 r. Russia is a country of paradoxes.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №148741
 03.02.2018
In general, intellectually autistic people are normal, sometimes even very intelligent. Their problems are in the emotional spectrum. If a child lags behind, he has not picked up the right program of development taking into account his perception - as, for example, the blind will inevitably lag behind if he just shows everything like the rest.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №148740
 03.02.2018
I recently visited a great temple. I prayed quietly, even bleeding. And the pops didn’t whisper at me that I wasn’t standing or breathing that way. I recommend to everyone. Village of Gubarevo, Church of the Divine Appearance of the Lord. What is notable? He is abandoned. RPC, not people, there are even icons from the latter.

So I have a recipe now how to repair the church.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №148739
 03.02.2018
The foolish

Oh you, with the bracelets!

Steps can be moved by the hand. So, note to the wife - if you often walk with the dog, then he shakes. To her husband to note - if she has a lot of steps, then she shakes. Not to you. Not to myself.
Logic of 100 lb.

If she has more steps, it’s you, the green, borst prepared. Interruptions between work and mining. Because every move of the hand with a knife is considered as a step, and you have to break half a barrel of every boat. But the trolls don’t help the wives, but they tremble at this time, so you don’t know.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №148738
 03.02.2018
and further)

To these two:

Only 5 years of scandals, cluttered nerves and divorce bars almost daily, and a hurricane - the simple truth came to my sunshine - "Well, I would say that you just want to be a little alone in silence, darkness and on the floor, why have I been nervous for 5 years?and "

This is my hero! In just five incomplete years, she taught her husband to speak through his mouth, not to send telepathic waves. Where is she? Show me her! If she gives lessons, I’m the first to record.

I did not work at the machine, but the situation is similar. The first 2 years was not so, and then another 3 years explained that I did not need care, but rest. And if you, dear, after a working day, stop a horse on a race, and sleep 4 hours a day, and your mom has that, then I can’t. Scandals, grievances, "You do not value me", "You do not want me", "You do not love me"... My health is more precious. The one that remains.
So I understand the author perfectly, speaking through the mouth of some is useless.

Oh, I understand you so! Pay attention to them. I have a couple of friends left my husbands after childbirth for scandals on the subject: here I come from work, and you don't dance around me, the dinner should warm up myself, you barely move yourself, not beautiful with these circles under my eyes, all the attention is not me, but the child, what kind of thing?! Explained to them, in words, said, nothing personal, just tired, the same attention and so require 24/7. is useless. They fled and went, health is more expensive.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №148737
 02.02.2018
XHH: Still surprised by all sorts of shitty jokes in movies, such as if the men are sleeping in the same tent on a trip, it is not normal.
In general, all the pederastes were raised by the Soviet Union! Try a room in a hotel with your grandmother? Without a stamp in the passport - shit! With a man, no problem.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №148736
 02.02.2018
Moscow at the time was a small village in the forest on the outskirts of a very remote principality, and rose much later.
— — — — —
Go ahead of Peter.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №148735
 02.02.2018
I have heard a lot about Latin America. So one familiar girl told me that in Brazil, among all her acquaintances (25-35 years old) it was normal to gather in the evening to quench with friends: swallow, play on the console, arrange a group shower or get in a table.
It suddenly became jealous. You will not always find a company here.
Maybe I should call on the group, not on the tablets? and :)
- They will come, see in the closet, and missing group whistle.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №148734
 02.02.2018
And each, smiling, imagined his Berdiches and his Paris.

People among us are Confucius. I take off my hat.

[ + 25 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №148733
 02.02.2018
Political Idiot - Political Idiot

All the stupidity of the division into Russians and Ukrainians is especially visible in the present dispute about the Chalandas full of kefals. When both sides go fucking trying to prove that only their version is correct, nobody, I repeat, did not dare to listen to the song itself, by the way written for reference by the Leningrad and the Kievan ;-)
Well, Odessa did not speak in literary Russian nor even in western Ukrainian, which the authors brilliantly depicted:
Day and night walked all over Sleep at the fun wedding of a sailor".
And it seems to me that Kostia from the song if he existed in reality, without thinking, would give in the mouth to all who divide one brotherly people into chokhlos or moscals.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №148732
 02.02.2018
I have seen everything in my life. But what if the Russians taught the Ukrainians how to speak Ukrainian correctly... Yes, this is only on a humorous resource you will meet.

NNN: The usual thing. Ukrainians and sometimes Belarusians teach Russians all the way, speak Russian (not only on this resource). The French traditionally teach Americans how to speak English. The Poles are teaching the French how to correctly name the German concentration camps in Poland in French. The Israelis judge the New Zealanders, whom Israel itself has seen in the grave, and do not advise others to go there.

Have you noticed that this world is crazy?

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №148731
 02.02.2018
In the contact in the group is a photo of the wall of the house with a huge inscription "When will you start living?"
The comments:
XXX from Monday.
YYY: Five more minutes.
ZZZ: I am the second.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №148730
 02.02.2018
My friend broke up from work yesterday.

There was a dialogue between him and the chief:

You work slowly, so you get fired. You work for a second week and don’t get squeezed.

Not too fast for such a job.

- The task consisted of two words "Redirect the site", which could be easier? Just two words, and you work a second week, fired!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №148729
 02.02.2018
A good thing, a smart bracelet, we have with our wife who took less steps in a day, and walks with the dog before going to bed.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №148728
 02.02.2018
If I did, I would call an ambulance too. just squeeze the body immediately taken, or will then begin to break down, the whole apartment is worn, the neighbors are hemorrhoids. somehow so

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №148727
 02.02.2018
call to the worker.

Department of Personnel.

Sergey, the elections are soon. Order on Organization: Ensure 100% participation of employees in the elections! You are responsible for the appearance of your subordinates.

I fell into a precipitation. Immediately and all.

Sorry, how do you see this process? ! to Should I be presented with a photo of the bulletin?

Well, I do not know...

I do not know. The choice is personal: whoever wanted to go, whoever did not want to go. And I am not going to control it. If there is such an order, send it to me, and I will inform the people.

Oral orders are. In short, I told you, think for yourself.



I put the phone.

I thought.

Oral orders are not documents.

The Soviet times and the army.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №148726
 02.02.2018
> Cook a plate of oatmeal. The Same. With my pen. It is simple and very fast.

Child, when I was twenty and after universe and work I was invaded by the usual plate of uneatable hueta (if a person is not given to cook, it is half a bad thing, but when he thinks otherwise - it is a bad thing), I did about that.
After that, I had to appoint the dean, the trade committee and two pro-rectors to allocate a place in the community - I, as a local, was not required. Okay, the place was found.
Because at home, after the cooked dish of oatmeal, they did not want me to see again, lol.

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