Fuck, when I see vacancies where they offer 7,000 jobs (in Kirov), I always remember one of the stories about Henry:
Who are they? I asked.
“Well, how,” he said, “these are people who hired girls and paid them five or six dollars a week. Are you from their shell?
“No, your immortality,” I replied. I just set fire to an orphan’s shelter and killed a blind man in order to take advantage of his honeymoon.

XXX I sena sberbank angry
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XXX is operational.
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XXX I clearly heard the phone hit the wall

My wife comes from yoga:
We were shown this posture today, in which you stand for 5 minutes and the weight in the stomach passes.
I know one too, but there are only two in it.

Advertising banner on the border:
"Crazy discount for travel to Thailand!"
Where is it??? between Iceland and Thailand? Mongolia for everyone!! to

A brother was flying from Munich to Tashkent, transferring to Paris.The plane was delayed 3 hours.The brother tells why:the plane took off in Paris, made a circle over the airport and sat back. It turns out, they forgot to go... and I thought such a shit could only be in Tashkent...

A woman who slips on a man's neck does not suspect that he slipped between her legs.

In Russia: Nurgaliyev announced victory over corruption in the Ministry of Internal Affairs

I live in some other Russia, I need to clarify...

Everyone would be a good girl.
Only the cockroach cuts.

In the pharmacy:
Two girls aged 5-7. ask in the pharmacy:
Do you have candles?
What do you really need?
(Everyone has concerns and concerns)
Those who are burning!! to
(Light laughter and smile at the pharmacist)
There are no such
Another craving.
I told you that there are no such things sold here as the cake we will cut for Daddy!! to
I slowly and quietly grind and slide on the wall,
from the fantasy on the subject, and what if they bought them anyway... A solemn moment, daughter with the words:
Happy Birthday Daddy!! to
a cake decorated with 30 candles from hemorrhoids.
And still burning...

In 40-50 years, there will be no grandmothers on the bench.
Do you believe in the end of the world?
I believe in inets and social networks.

No sheet of paper can be folded more than seven times.
By writing this to everyone, you have just destroyed an entire forest!

Infinity: And I drove the director of my company today...
Sheef is cool! It is :)
Infinity in the elevator :)

They are immortal among us!! to
If you divide the wealth of some ministers or deputies by their salaries, it turns out that they live for several thousand years!

She was very bad, she accidentally did good.

The real story. This happened ten years ago, as they say, in one large and very proud Northern republic. One of our comrades invited our friendly hunting company to the autumn opening of the hunt in a place unknown to us - one of the numerous hunting bases on lakes near the capital of the glorious republic. After listening to the stories about the flocks of ducks covering the sky, we quickly gathered together and climbed to this hunting base, somewhat settled in a large rubber house with pores on the walls and a large stove in the center among others wishing to feel the local wildlife for strength. To purify our conscience, we ran to the lake, to make sure that the duck is really there, sitting without fear, looking at us with good eyes, not even flying away. They returned to the house, quickly cut snacks, poured them into glasses and began to get acquainted with the local community, however, without fanaticism, because at four in the morning the hunt began.
So, without ten-four, I am already in the room, scratching a cuddly unbarred beard, eating from the morning cold, looking bloodthirsty at a bunch of crackers within a straight shot. Waiting for S. ...And here behind is what is called, the evil scratch. I was vigilant, I looked around my friend, standing about thirty meters from me on the other side of the watermelon, and the duck wrapped up and wrapped with bushes. Through the coastal cushers, the classic grandfather, the godfather, pulled a small chariot the size of children's sandwiches on screaming wheels. Grandfather came closer (without tears you won't look - an old shirt, a rabbit hat with a turned ear - a classic Mazai, only forty years in retirement.) The Grandfather:
I’ve always been hunting here, yeah, I know.
I have the last season, my legs don’t walk, my hands don’t drag, I feel winter isn’t.
I will survive. Let me do the first shot, one of all, soul.
to take.
What are we, animals?
Come on grandfather.
The first suspicion arose after the grandfather pulled out a real fuse from the sword on the cart - a clustered trunk, a caliber - the hand slides, a charge of obviously half a pound of powder and a glass of crush and quickly directed this weapon toward ducks, not suspecting what ass awaits them. And in this same second, the canonade went along the shores of the lake - four hours, the hunting season for swimmers opened.
My grandfather was terrified. My eyes opened like a phyllin stretched on a globe.
The cat in the bay is all gone!! Although I suspect that half of a banal heart attack. But it is not easier for us. And the cunning grandfather suddenly stopped dying, sharply scattered the swamps and used to scratch the ducks out of the water, which a minute ago I already thought of as my own. He threw them into the bag and it was so. The cock.
...Late in the morning, with trophies in the form of two dirty random dwarfs, I returned to the cellar. The people already gathered, were proud of the beaten oak, gradually drank, ate. Take the bikes. I also talked about my grandfather.
The local old men have been roaring over me for a long time - this grandfather before each opening of the season for ten years comes a quarter of an hour before the first shot on the lake, chooses non-home hunters (because the locals have already sent him), and explains to them this story with his swift dying and pre-mortem shot. And it always goes by with him - what a psychologist...
Good health, grandfather, if you are still alive.

Even journalists do not dare to call Medvedev the president of Russia. The President Medvedev.

Blade, I still have a worker. We carry out raids around the office in order to identify toys and all kinds of shit during working hours... we go to the head of the Finnish service. Blaise, he is sitting down! At the beginning, this whole hole is blocked. the picture - made friends with him, he opens the yandeh and writes"the photo of the bride")))))))))))))))))))))))))))) the whaler's department))))))))))))))))))))
Everything was closed to the harams...and then a little later we look, again the fox is shaking. I go to Google, the translator, I write "he will catch the ball on the puppy!", I type his internal number and bring the phone to the dynamic. The woman’s voice is loud and clear – "GET A CHARICE FOR THE PARNUCHE!". Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

News on Rambler: Plane Blagoveshchensk-Moscow flew with a roy of bees on board. A group of bees broke into the business-class Boeing 757. Frightened by loads and loss of orientation, insects behaved inadequately.

Enjoyed comment: aircraft lately only and keeps in the air due to the large number of insects caught, These bees are a leak from the engine

Comment on the construction of the Olympic road Adler - Red Range:
But $ 6,780 per 1 square meter - it is serious, probably to build from nanobetons, mined by virgins at midnight on the top of Everest and on the crust of intercontinental missiles delivered to the construction site, where super-secret nanorobots lay it on the road...

News on Rambler: "a ghost girl steals cement from a building".

Woooooot! Mystery has been solved! You are all officials, officials.