Rashid Nurgalyev: "From Thursday, there is no more corruption in the Russian police" xD

I remembered here.
It was at the beginning of zero. My friends and I found some homeless cat and decided to urgently settle somewhere. Nothing to do, decided to walk through the entrances of nearby houses. The apartments were randomly picked. The following dialogue was held with the owner of one of the apartments:
- Hello, and you do not need a cat unnatural, very affectionate!
“No, guys, sorry, I need a big cat with two legs that is good at cooking borscht. As you find it, call.

I have never met such humorists.

I recently stayed in a hotel, and there in the toilet the light is set to gradually increase the brightness.
You go in to suck, turn on the light and in the process in the brain of the fighter two thoughts: the lighting slowly comes, the bladder slowly pressed on the optic nerve...

I am in the hospital, waiting for the doctor. A nurse walks around and invites everyone to lunch. He goes into every room and cries: 'Is anyone alive?
I better go home...

Yesterday I took a girl out of the solarium, and the hell threw to say:
"Well, what about the chicken grill?"

XXX: What is it?
YYY: It is normal. I am in the Bahamas.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx When did you get rid of it, Bishop?
YYY: No, it is okay. I brought a batch of plates. Colour "Bahamas" has been unloaded. I stumble. I sit.

XXX: I will
XXX: I am not a girl
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxx: not a girl in the sense of a boy
And a boy not since a girl, but from the moment of birth.

A boy enters the apartment with a girl.
XXX: there are sounds of orgia
xxxx: stuff scattered in the corridor
xxx: girl's room men's jeans, mother's women's
XXX: The Door
xxx: men's jeans and women's jeans
XXX: the underwear
xxx: and a notepad on the bed that cyclically reproduces sounds
xxx: and the inscription red on the entire screen "the fucking doll is jealous?and "

I used to drive early in the morning to work in the city. Early in the morning, people are sleepy and awkward, like the day before, and the holiday was somewhat...
In general, the motorist at the general stop forgot to close the doors of the electric car and from the stop to the stop went on a breakdown.

It was necessary to see the faces of passengers on the perron of the next station, when the electric car went up, stopped and the doors suddenly closed)))))

“I still don’t understand what Obama offered the Bear to exchange for Libya. It must be something very significant.

Angry Birds was offered to him.

Dating site for girls

I met a man, but he did not like me, how politely to refuse him in further communication?

I usually asked for money in debt, a large sum, then they disappeared themselves. :)

[Alic 10:52:29]
>> *WALL* me crazy in the eye cause
[GeparD 10:54:12]
<< How did you do it?
[Alic 10:54:31]
>> :D Yes I am the victim
[GeparD 10:54:54]
<< Do you have to wait?
[Alic 10:55:02]
>> I had a phone sperm familiar a year ago
[Alic 10:55:22]
>> I name name name address all said
[Alic 10:55:28]
>> they have revealed this case for a year
[GeparD 10:55:33]
<< *ROFL*
[Alic 10:55:55]
>> I’ve forgotten about it.
[GeparD 10:56:04]
<< *ROFL* *ROFL*

We, unfortunately, are not in an online game where the Diploma artifact adds +5 to wisdom, +10 to mind, +10 to responsibility.

yyy: You need to get an artefact dissertation. +10,000 to salary

xxx: you need to buy an artifact Military ticket - one of the quests for obtaining a passport

Yyy: You cannot buy artifacts. But I heard there was one raid. You go there for a year and at the end of the award - a military ticket.

Have you ever tried an omelet with apples?
And I tried it when I forgot to put the flour in the charlotte.

The year 2005:
<n0> soon I will not be surprised when on the street you approach a girl to ask how long and she will answer "vypija jadu" - pizza minutes.
<n0> and people on the sidewalk will say: lol chuvag: kill yourself.
<Atrium> and the passing grandmother will think: "the swallow is protected"

I think the comments are superfluous, right?

YYY: I have so many hell records in my diary. This is "squared in the class".

HH: And how did you mess up?

We played who would say the shit louder.
I won short.

There is in Russian girls some kind of glamour that gives them, maybe blonde hair, the shape of the beard, and maybe the look at all.
YYY: And Russian men also have some outfits, knee shirts, socks and sandals)

The iPhone display works even if a member drives it... At the same time, smartphones from HTC refuse to respond to the member.

Check it out, fuck it.

Sorry, can I download all the songs of Yuri Antonov in one file?
YYY: A link to the entire Internet with one file will not give you an opportunity?

yellow5:I came up with a new TV show...the battle of IT extrasensors...the best administrators penetrate the heads of users and guess what they clicked and why "nothing works"...