bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №54384
 04.10.2011
If you stop drinking, your friends become significantly less.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №54383
 04.10.2011
xxx: The people, and what is the name of the five, which gathers straw, crafts and baffles?
YYY: The Woman

[ + 53 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №54382
 04.10.2011
Shella: I'll go to our university today at the department of physics to use the nose, ugu.
Shella: Euro repair, the walls are clean, the towel is not, but if I go with it, I go further – I see four unclosing cabins, opposite which are THREE PISSUARS.
Shella: on the side - A GREAT WINDOWS WITH A BEAUTIFUL VIEW, you will never guess
Shella: the main floor hall.
Shella: addicts built – addicts learn... nothing surprising...

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №54381
 04.10.2011
I work as an admin. I sit in the office. The manager comes in:
Do you have a roulette?
I : No!
She: What is the level? I need to measure what.
I : No!
She: Maybe you have a long object and you know its exact size?

After 10 minutes on the table of my computer was lying an explanatory with the words of type "I will not be like that anymore".

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №54380
 04.10.2011
There are now three grandmothers of Jehovah’s Witnesses, standing at the threshold like a bunch of vampires and asking me to invite you into the apartment!!! to

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №54379
 04.10.2011
by myal ru
xxxh: I play FIFA with a joystick, I give a pass and the player who receives the ball does run away to the left and only then you can run where you want.
Don’t play for Russia

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №54378
 04.10.2011
The Arms Forum.

Question: I had a dispute with a friend. Please help. Shooting the bullet of which cartridge without consequences for the carrier can withstand the mentovsky armor, which they wear during the rush of the demonstrations?

Answer: I don’t know, but I like the course of thought.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №54377
 04.10.2011
xxx: I was waiting for the hero to get up and start feeding everyone with lead, but it’s too much.
You are obviously from Moscow. Only the Moscovites think that the theater will be easily missed with any smoothness. In our province, three cardons are put in front of theaters, like a trans-open-air.
xxx: yes, you guessed, I am from DS and I go to the theatre, or rather I went before, because before everything was better and differently
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Province of Metoon. Only ballet and only ballet.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! Just a circus! Just a fire!

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №54376
 04.10.2011
at the conference.
The United States’ external debt is $14 trillion. What to do with him?
The voice from the room: understand and forgive!

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №54375
 04.10.2011
One of my neighbors (1) has just received the prize and plans to spend it on a new winter jacket. The second has a long-standing dream - to buy a car, he refuses everything, sells what he can - only to accumulate the necessary amount. The second just recently got a package from the house with a light autumn windshield, which he is trying to sell instead of a winter jacket to the first neighbor:
“Look, it’s new, I’ve worn it a couple of times... let’s buy it from me for half the price!
I need the winter! Should I wear an autumn jacket?? to
Do you know how much the new one cost? It is cheaper!
1) Yes, I need a warm winter, what will I walk in the frost? Distance to.
2: Well buy, I need money!
Elijah, you’re in the car, right? Do you remember my grandfather died last year? There is a shorter tractor from it, can I sell it to you cheaper? He is in excellent condition!
Do I get a tractor? I need a car, where will I drive on your tractor?
1) Do you know how much it cost new??? Buy it! So buy it! We need money!!! 1
2) Well I understood it.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №54374
 04.10.2011
I’ve never been so ashamed for a long time...
YYY: What has stunned you?? to
xxx: Yes, a friend asked in the store to replace.Well, I stand and there is a grandmother: Why are your apples so small? They are normal apples. And she: No, it is small. I couldn’t stand it, I said: What a little thing! Look at the big apples!! to
She first turned around, apparently looking for apples, and then looked at me badly and left.

[ + 111 - ] Comment quote №54373
 04.10.2011
At night, you walk through a dark corridor, you hit a huge bullshit hernia - it is a joke! Even if someone wakes up. And you are going to cook a cup of tea, so crazy, half of the relatives will run out of the bedrooms with the statements of “You knock loud spoon, you interfere with sleep.” Is this one of me?

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №54372
 04.10.2011
AAA: Water is purchased at work, but not in a cooler
And with a pump like that... with a nose.
So I noticed...
If a girl pumps water, then she closes her nose.
The cover...
And if a guy, he is knocking on his nose!
BBB: They are shaking the dots! and ;-)

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №54371
 04.10.2011
VKontakte photo of a girl in the middle of some ruins.
The first comment: "The consequences of PMS" =)

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №54370
 04.10.2011
NaZg:de:Donaudampfschiffahrtselektrizitätenhauptbetriebswerkbauunterbeamtengesellschaft. It is translated into Russian as "Society of servants of the junior branch of the construction supervision body under the main management of the electric service of the Danube vessel."

moriel81: asks, and why in Germany the Twitter hasn’t lived...

[ + 95 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №54369
 04.10.2011
I'm a mouse-click, I'm a crawler-crawler, I'm a motherboard in the middle of the pay, I'm a processor - hot as an aggressor, I'm a cartoon - bytes confused, I'm a keyboard - dusty fool, I'm a CD-ROM - you can't cut it with a tail, I'm a sim - ten years, ten winters, I'm a monitor - colored like a tomato, I'm a disc driver - healthy like a chamber, we're two ports - unknown to the hell, I'm AWE-32 - I mentally pronounce words, I'm a fax modem - from forty microchips, I'm a Rotrobon printer - I'm roaring like a furious elephant
and c)

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №54368
 04.10.2011
Max: guess, it was you that broke your firm’s lap, right?
dmjh: yes - the second time a wooden pen broke
dmjh: tree is still a good material, but not for fighting roots
dmjh: she doesn't want to beat her own and ends up committing suicide
Max: If this theory were true at least 1% not a single hammer on the hammer could not be used without risk
dmjh: possibly seals are cut out of sociopathic trees

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №54367
 04.10.2011
Where do you find such work? That Nihua do not do with the director of the mother-in-law! Where does the profit in the company come from?

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №54366
 04.10.2011
The glass of our people’s patience seems to have a hole in the bottom.

[ + 66 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №54365
 04.10.2011
told a acquaintance. Three years ago, a Russian-speaking Korean brought her daughter to first class in Moscow to arrange. Zavoch explained to all parents who came with the children that they are accepted to this school only on the basis of an interview. She took the girl's hand and, with the words "and you mommy wait here," took her to the office. They leave in 5 minutes.
The girl runs to her mother, hides behind her and whispers, “Mom, I don’t want to go to this school. They ask stupid questions.”
The Zavoch says, “We can’t take your girl. I asked her:
“Animals are flying?” She replied, “Yes”
A Korean woman turns to her daughter, “Daughter, why did you answer that? The birds fly.”
What the girl, looking behind her mom's shirt and looking at the sound, says, "Yes? What about the flying mouse?”
The warm-hearted one could only say, “We’re taking your girl.”

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna