bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №50764
 25.07.2011
In our elevator, the lamp is turned on every 20 seconds - it's time to change, but the residents are in a hurdle. And on the back wall a mirror, but covered with cardboard, as the house is repaired - so that it is not broken when the furniture is carried. Well, I called the elevator, screwed something in the phone, went in, pressed a button.
Here for some reason turned and suddenly the lamp turns on and shines out of the darkness a creature with big eyes that is watching me.
The fucking mirror finally shattered, I barely had to change the pants.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №50763
 25.07.2011
XXX: Who are you working for?
YYY: is a software carrier.
XXX: What are you doing?
and processors.

[ + 52 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №50762
 25.07.2011
In Russia, when appointing ministers, there is always a difficult choice: to appoint fools will ruin everything; to appoint smart ones will ruin everything.

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №50761
 25.07.2011
XXX: Why should I know about flows, processes, and some quantum if the processor knows everything about them.
YYY: Why should I know about atoms, molecules, and some hemoglobin if Google knows everything about them?
ZZZ: Two or three more comments and we’ll get Zen.

[ + 57 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №50760
 25.07.2011
XXX: I sit in the cinema with a girlfriend, the film Harry Potter 7 part 2, is a very tense moment where someone killed someone. Here at the guard sitting near the door at the entrance to the hall begins to noise, noise was heard throughout the hall. After the noise a dialogue broke out.
"Lehah, if the girl is going to pass by the box in a white saraphan, value her buffer.
3 seconds of response)
Acrylic is...
XXX: The room was in the box.
YYY: haahahahahah =DDD

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №50759
 25.07.2011
I (from the audience I read): When you leave, turn off the light.
Why are we not loved everywhere?( by

[ + 51 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №50758
 25.07.2011
I dropped for 2 months to relatives, forgot to remove the password from the computer.Question: how to explain to parents, who remained at home, that the password "Nahui fucked from my computer"?

[ + 72 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №50757
 25.07.2011
My husband and I are shopping in a supermarket. I carefully take the chicken eggs in the package and give it with the words: "Be careful as yours."
In response: "I should scratch them?"=

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №50756
 24.07.2011
Something funny about the neighbors on the street 😉
The idiot!
The idiot!
The idiot!
and stupid!
And an alcoholic!
No to P!
It is impotent!
A sting of sting!

and 😉

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №50755
 24.07.2011
The question:
But, here, explain to me WHAT the affars of the Russian-Japanese conversation book thought, which contained the following sentence: "Stop licking me!"
Answer to:
I work in a night club as a waitress, often come Japanese. So, before ordering a beer, they carefully lick and lick their hands... So...how does this phrase sound in Japanese?

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №50754
 24.07.2011
The next
Dedicated to the one who wrote:
“Dear, have you blocked our computer?
and yes.
And what password?
The date of our wedding.
This is a... Fuck..."

Do not give in to female provocation. Take a look at Deborah’s passport.

They are not yet married.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №50753
 24.07.2011
This morning, my mom woke up from my snooping in the kitchen and with the words "this is what else we have for pests" stumbled onto me with a tapek

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №50752
 24.07.2011
From Twitter:
Famous Russian singer Philip Kirkorov found alive at his home

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №50751
 24.07.2011
XXX: Playing with Words
They will avenge you and leave your vocabulary.
xxx and fucking
xxx: you will express the current with the words silk, drum and give

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №50750
 24.07.2011
BylliSexMachine:Today two hours tried to find a girl on the network, in the end went to a porn site, teenaged and went to bed (
You are my friend :DDD

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №50749
 24.07.2011
XXX: I watched the movie.
YYY: Have you played in porn?

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №50748
 24.07.2011
1st So why do you wear a shirt with a shirt?
2nd Because I am washed.
1st Do you know that you can have two shirts?
2nd I know, but my second is winter.

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №50747
 24.07.2011
In America it is Saturday, 13 days.
and
yyy: fu...left from life))
and
Well, for them the end of the world will begin later, but for us it will end earlier.
and
YYY: And they will still suffer.
and
XXX is AHA. And we will already eat ice cream and think "Fuh, what was the electric writer?and "

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №50746
 24.07.2011
I wanted a cup of light, but there were no light bulbs, and my father took the last light bulb.
WADIM: And what now?
I'll be awarded as the most ingenious blonde! I lighted the gas with an electric shocker.
Tagged with: o_o

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №50745
 24.07.2011
The girl in the questionnaire:
"...I use cosmetics from professional makeup artists, such as Max Fucker."

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