bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №50744
 24.07.2011
Mother (M) is working in the hospital. He tells us:
There is a patient with a 4-year-old child.

M is the name?
The boy: Perry
M: Please, but only out of the office.
His mother: This is my name.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №50743
 24.07.2011
Yesterday at work:
A girl from the neighborhood department comes in, listening to the dialogue:
We have a cake, let’s cook you.
YYY: Thank you, but I will not, I am on a diet.
xxx: And we have a weight loss cake, you eat it, and then after half an hour you sit down and think - I'm losing weight.
I only had one question: Where are you sitting? It is ?

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №50742
 24.07.2011
Fat strippers often bend the stick.

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №50741
 24.07.2011
xxx:I recently thought that a person who does not take unfamiliar numbers always has something on his conscience=)

[ + 211 - ] [13 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №50740
 24.07.2011
I’m sorry, but it’s hard to be silent.
Yesterday in the subway was witnessed a very unpleasant picture. A grandmother was driving with a cat in a cage and this cat was described, naturally began to smell. I was very surprised by the reaction of the passengers, they made a real show:
Some cried out that they would throw out the cat, others cried out that they would throw out the grandmother, most of them covered their noses and crowded as if something had happened that insulted them very much. One muddy even hit a cage with a cat's leg. One demonstrately stood up and went to the other end of the car. The guys in front roasted like idiots and ticked on the grandmother with the finger, one uncle poured beer on the cat so that it did not smell like, later the poor grandmother gave a cloth and began to wipe the floor in the wagon so that the passengers did not smell, she managed to give a cloth and knock a woman sitting next to her, demonstrately telling out loudly what she hates cats and what they are all ugly.
Guys, I want with your help to ruin all these fools thoroughly karma.

[ + -13 - ] Comment quote №50739
 24.07.2011
To all believers, to those who remember and to those who suffer. Go to Nashville!

Zoi

[ + 91 - ] Comment quote №50738
 24.07.2011
I encountered an article about how the victim of criminal dismantling (shooting) grown super-worthiness:
Surgeons managed to grow the cult from 4 centimeters to 22 (with a circle of 8 cm), aesthetically formed the head and inserted an implant so that the sexual organ could perform all the functions assigned to it by nature. Now the patient has a male dignity of extremely rare size - "in nature" such practically do not occur. According to the patient, in Chita he is waiting for a beloved girl who he is going to marry.

One of the first comments: "Do you want to shoot?"
and)))

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №50737
 24.07.2011
Yesterday a girl in the size of 52 goes to meet me... Dressed in a black tunic t-shirt, unprofitably stretching all her numerous bulbs... And on the chest with large white letters is written: LITTLE BLACK DRESS

[ + 96 - ] Comment quote №50736
 24.07.2011
Sick stomach, brought to the ambulance to the hospital, sent for examination to the grandmother-gynecologist.
Do you have a sexual life?
I : No.
He looks at me with suspicion.
Grandma is sure?
I : Yes.
Grandma: Are you sure?
I : Yes!
So we write:"Negates"

[ + 101 - ] Comment quote №50735
 24.07.2011
Yesterday I was in their office, treating viruses. And if it were that there were more than 200 viruses, I’d be crazy about how they back up data! Every day, a specially trained girl writes labels of documents from the desk on a canvas...they have a collection of labels for two years! ! to ! to

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №50734
 24.07.2011
She says, “Bring it up! Roast the whole!
He said, “I will not.
She (offended): Then I will not shave again.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №50733
 24.07.2011
20:43 for a minute
21:33 sorry that so long, I thought about sex with you and fell asleep

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №50732
 24.07.2011
Discussion on the topic "how to calm a deboshir better"
Aaa> The best option is a gas pistol.
Bbb> Generally speaking, the best way to calm down a deboshir is puzzles. At the lean end the key is 55x50, the pipe is good, etc.
Ccc> And also - stylish to use a balloon with helium. Then the attacker will have a thin hostile voice and he will be ashamed and he will give up the attack.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №50731
 24.07.2011
(Discussion of the transfer of the telescope in the backpack from the Astroforum)
xxx: for example telescope 1 - 18 kg VS telescope 2 - 20 kg Both without a machine can take only yyy.
Damn, guys, how are you, curious, pulling the baby on your hands? Or do you also pick them "appropriate-transferable"?
The ergonomics are better :)
WOW: This is an illusion – unlike a telescope, the grandmother hangs entirely on the shoulder belt, often straining the neck. This is a breakout of the back... The backpack hangs a significant part of the weight on the thighs, through the belt, there is a little left on the back, and the breakout is much less - no grandmother will cling to the man as a good machine backpack will do!

[ + 99 - ] Comment quote №50730
 24.07.2011
Medvedev wants to create Russian World of Warcraft.
Comment to news.

xxx: PATI ON BABY YAGU, NID SKINJAK, TWO SHIELDS, BABY POVIDUNJY AND 2 DD IVANUŠKA-DURAČOK, OR EMELY 55+LWL, WITH OWN MODULAR APPS PO 2 STEK MINIMUM, COSTEY-PVP-SET OR CRABOSET "STUKE COMMAND", COLLECTION ON DOWN IN 15 MINUTES.

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №50729
 24.07.2011
I was told that in Soviet times several pilots checked a joke, for which they barely went to shoot: picked up a drunk in Moscow near the Pushkin monument, took a plane with them, on which they flew to St. Petersburg and landed a poor man near the Pushkin monument. Imagine the trembling surprise after he woke up. Yes, no, the change of the city he then noticed: the first thing, then he got into his eyes, so this is what Pushkin stood before, and then took and sat down...

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №50728
 24.07.2011
My uncle is married. In the first days after the wedding, he went home from the garages...drinking... Well, he fell asleep on the bench tired. The young woman looked through all the eyes (there were no hundreds at the time). I could not stand this morning and went searching. He looks at the couch lying at the entrance, slightly shaking. I pulled him home and called his older, wise family life, sister: "Natasha, maybe I married Alkasha?" He went to you, but there was no power left".

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №50727
 24.07.2011
Riff: started WoW under the wire - the exit button does not work. This is how Linux users die behind their computers.

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №50726
 24.07.2011
I remembered the lessons of sexual education in school.
It was a disaster.
At first, a frigid old teacher explained to us what the penis and the vagina are, showing with a sign on the posters.
and. Jan, come to the board.
and. and Mam.
and. - Jan, show the class penis
and. Sorry what?
and. - Yang, you are constantly distracted and listen to no one, immediately show the class the penis
Furthermore, I think it is clear what happened.

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №50725
 24.07.2011
You are a fucking son! I am in your mother!
How self-critical...

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