bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 95 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №49504
 28.06.2011
Elephant
13.03.2010 09:17:48
Hi to!
I bought a new laptop. It smelled plasma and I decided to wash it with raspberry soap, and it stopped turning on. And I thought it was because of the cooling system and because of the fact that there was water in it and dusted it with a vacuum cleaner and dried it with a dryer. The vacuum cleaner pulled out the buttons Y, A, P, Y. I glued them back, but they don’t press for some reason. Then I took it back to the store and told them to return my money, and I was told that the product was deprived of warranty for physical damage and return and exchange will not be subject.
Tell me why they say that, because I didn’t understand him!

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №49503
 28.06.2011
Commentary on the juice:

Disadvantages: We have not yet met. My wife doesn’t get to collect it...I don’t know whose deficiency it is...)))

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №49502
 28.06.2011
Top 10 Unbelievable Causes of Death Penalty

The Persian Law on Beer. For the brewing of bad beer in Persia, you could choose to be drowned in the substantive proof of your crime or drink it until you get drunk to death.

It is time to introduce

[ + 103 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №49501
 28.06.2011
I was not drunk.
zzz: Boy, you gave the socks to the Karatish and shouted, “Dobbi, you are free!

[ + 83 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №49500
 28.06.2011
Braen: Yesterday I am going to the flight, before the very departure from the number which ends at 666 comes SMS: "Prejudice"... I call back to the number (no one) in response a good girl operator says, the number is wrong or does not exist O_o In 5 minutes, when we are already sitting with the generic and we think, to postpone the flight or not, another SMS comes with the text: "Not there"... in the head we are already sitting, we are hanging, but we decide to drive... What was my surprise when over 800 meters on the road saw a big accident... this is what to think now?
CHESTER: What do you think, Satan’s number is wrong?

[ + 73 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №49499
 28.06.2011
I am going through medical practice in one of the hospitals of Moscow.I form the history of the disease of the man who just entered the department in the appearance of a strong and long drinking:
I: the place of work
he: ooo"gsk"
I: The Position
He is a landscape designer
Oh, and to record it?
he: yes no... write "the bulldozer"

[ + 115 - ] Comment quote №49498
 28.06.2011
Since I left with my parents, my life has changed dramatically. We live together with the cat.
If after his dinner I do not feed for the night, he, when I turn off the lights in the whole apartment and go to bed in a remote room, runs out, slides on the parquet and sticks in my heels, and I scream and run to hide under the blanket.
On weekends, I get up at 9 am because a cat comes, sits on a pillow, cuts my ear out of the blanket and starts sparking something like “give meat, give meat.”
When he is dissatisfied with something, he goes to the toilet, finds there a plastic bowl for the flooring, which is close to the wall and a blow, and if you hit it with a foot, it will not fall, but will walk on the sidewalk, hitting the walls and the blow, while giving a ringing thunder.
And when he is inspired, he rushes to a chair on wheels, and rides on it on the parquet to the foothold, stretches off from there and rides again. He also eats the dragon and wipes all the black things in my closet with his gray wool. I love that shit.
Kitty seems to be preparing me for family life.

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №49497
 28.06.2011
[11:18:52] Ircheg says: On Sunday at 7.05 a.m., a goat struck Rammstein! Sleeping under these screams is unrealistic. He listened to three songs. I decided to go ask the neighbors or from the street. I come to the kitchen, and it's from my center orets ))))) The cat slept on top and accidentally turned on ))))

The neighbors didn’t come ?

[ + 98 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №49496
 27.06.2011
XX: I was driving to work last week. The cell phone calls. I start looking for her in the bag on the passenger seat, I raise my eyes. The BAC. I drove in the back of another car (good that at least the old nine was). The phone is all ringing.
I pick up the phone and say 'What?'
And there mom says: 'I just call to find out how things are, or I have a bad feeling'...

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №49495
 27.06.2011
The caterpillars wrapped the nest under the window. Now, looking at the cat, I understand what I look like playing in the WV. She, the poor, does not even have time to eat!

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №49494
 27.06.2011
Q: What signs of syphilis did you find?
I had a twenty-five-liter enamel cane on my back.
I want to reassure you.
You have it from birth.
You usually call it your head.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №49493
 27.06.2011
Never buy a girl an epilator! Even if she hints or asks for her birthday, you’ll still be a goat who wants to hurt her.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №49492
 27.06.2011
Ar7 (02:42:42 27/06/2011)
May God forgive your sins.
Ar7 (02:43:06 27/06/2011)
Have you made a mistake in pop?
I_am_blond... (02:43:08 27/06/2011)
Sins not to be executed.
Ar7 (02:43:35 27/06/2011)
You have burned rough.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №49491
 27.06.2011
karamelka_v: My also cuts on a bike in the country, shoots from the bow and the stove. We bought a bumerang. The first launch was successful - swinging through the fence, the boomerang disappeared in the forest. The coconut, which never closes our cloth (there are no dentists for it), has been silent for half an hour. The bumerang was found. The second launch was carried out by my daughter. My daughter is very interested in all kinds of sports. Running on any distances at the same time with the boys, a three-piece throw in basketball is generally a penny, I am silent about all sorts of spaghetti, bridges, lashes and bats. We have no equals here. The boomerang started well. has returned! I blinked the eye of Veronica. Everything was cooled to the bumerang. Especially Veronica.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №49490
 27.06.2011
I have a bird-eating spider, I feed it with cockroaches who live in a bowl... talk to my sister:
I am :O! The cockroaches ate one of their own.
Why don’t you feed them?
Q: Why do you eat food?

[ + 73 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №49489
 27.06.2011
Have you ever found a deodorant that doesn’t sweat?! to

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №49488
 27.06.2011
Can you help xxx?
One of the main roles in my upbringing was played by "Chip and Dale"... Of course I will help!!! to

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №49487
 27.06.2011
She: Fuck you are the best in the world
He: Of course, there will probably be no more talking shit.

[ + 63 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №49486
 27.06.2011
Another asteroid is approaching Earth. A spacecraft the size of a bus will fly very close to our planet tonight.

News: Uncontrolled bus to Earth

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №49485
 27.06.2011
A woman who can’t get out of the pat in a warcraft because it’s a shame to say about a child: leave your pirate and come to us off. There are no twelve-year-olds here, and we, who understand, will cover up - both in paths and in raids.
with respect, black-sniper 85 level, father of two children :)

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