bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №59306
 28.01.2012
My son, 3 years old, is tired.
I am patient: has the capricorn come?
He said: Yes, it is capricious.
Husband: She will come, she will drive out Capricorn.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №59305
 28.01.2012
R: How to live?
I: is continuing
R: And on a personal level?
I: On what personal level?
Boyfriend, herald friend?
I: Handsome friend
R is : )

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №59304
 28.01.2012
LSD: And I learned about menstruation in girls at the age of 15. I then invited a friend home for a cup of tea. Go kissing and hugging. I began to take persistent action and then she said to me, “Sasha, I’m sorry, my period started yesterday.

Well, I didn’t know what it was. I decided to try again in a month. I thought - once a month, so it goes a month.

And a month later I invited her home again to "watch TV". And only again began to crawl to the promise, as she again to me - Sasha, I have months now.

Here I couldn’t stand, I say to her – How is the monthly now, if the month has already passed since they started?? to

That is how I found out...

[ + 34 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №59303
 28.01.2012
XX: I have the feeling that you go and go on your business, and behind it is always on the chickens steals a big JOPA - such, in human height, on small curved legs. Sometimes you catch up when you don’t wait. and seizes
WOW: Of course, she will then let go. You just feel your ears in the shit.
Zzz: I sometimes see a train coming out of the subway tunnel.
You wait for the train, as usual. Then suddenly the ass goes out!!! to
You’re in a hurry to work, and you have to come in.
XXX: or... from one tunnel (through the train) leaves JOPA, and on the same rails to meet her - a huge such PESEC flies out.
And both are so surprised how they divide you.

[ + 39 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №59302
 28.01.2012
@gapess: Judging by the new agreement, Google has no right but to anal comforts with me.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №59301
 28.01.2012
I was wondering why after midnight there are new forces doing all kinds of shit.
He launched the Heroes of Sword and Magic... and understood, to grind! >__<
The new day has begun -> a new portion of points of course!!! to

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №59300
 28.01.2012
I put myself up today. :P
mmm: o_o
Do you mean you just want sex from me now?

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №59299
 28.01.2012
You said you only have sex with smart people, right?
WOW: Well yes. First I get to know the beautiful ones, then I pick the smart ones, and then I get to have sex.
Oh yeah wow! I went to the third level!

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №59298
 28.01.2012
The beer departments "bbb" arrange the alcohol supply
I think I’ll go, I’ll take a half-pound on the spill.
Shizzy
When you buy 2 liters, you get another 1 litre as a gift.
Here are 3 liters of peach.
"I went off with such problems" yeah?

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №59297
 28.01.2012
The xxx:
Internet Explorer 7
About the program:
...
Illegal reproduction or distribution of this program or part thereof entails civil and criminal liability.

YYYY :
We need to hang it immediately!

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №59296
 28.01.2012
@0mi4 The Ministry of Justice on its website popped the phones and wrote the phone of my office. I have been dealing with important public affairs all day.
@0mi4 Permitted to come immediately, send faxes, submit documents. I am a Category A officer.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №59295
 28.01.2012
My son is 3.5 years. He thoughtfully says:
"I am often sick. Rhinitis does not pass. I cough all the time. And the nails grow"

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №59294
 28.01.2012
VKontakte status at girl - The only guy I'll run for will scream "POSE HOPE, PLEASE"

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №59293
 28.01.2012
Oh yeah, I’m really full :-(
Full of what?
Good intentions, good intentions

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №59292
 28.01.2012
Modern writers would be good to learn to distinguish the creative tide from the creative stroke.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №59291
 28.01.2012
It is said that Juan Perón lived in the world. He worked as president.
Argentina, although some unwelcome people sometimes called it
“The dictator.” The work was exhausting and dangerous: the enemies were constantly preparing assassinations, in any case, Peron thought so. He was especially afraid of being poisoned (this is an old tradition of the local aristocrats).

He did not trust any of his subordinates. Except for one. It was his old dinner, passing with him fire, water and copper tubes. Being devoted as a dog, but with curved hands (not in the world of perfection). Only this old soldier Peron trusted to prepare his own food. But the skill of the devoted servant did not extend further than “fried meat” and “fried meat”.

From time to time, Juan Domingovich, tired of being pressed by the soldiers' food, exclaimed: "Fuck, I am President or I am not President! Can I normally eat in this country?” and told me to cook the car. For some time, he walked around Buenos Aires and the suburbs, and then, according to a random number generator, chose a catering facility, trying not to repeat his choice. Where he would come to dinner today, nobody knew until the last moment. For a restaurant, a cafe or a simple runner-up, the appearance of the country’s president has always been a surprise.

General Peron was poisoned several times. But not because of the attempts, but because of the poor quality of products and the inability of chefs. If the food or service were of poor quality, the entire staff of the institution was in trouble; Peron was called a "bloody dictator", and there may have been grounds for this... Details of the repressions against catering workers have not been preserved, but during the years of the general's rule, the quality of dishes in Buenos Aires and the surrounding area rose to the highest level.
Because no institution, even the smallest, was insured from the sudden visit of Himself, hungry, strict and just. I don’t know how about the political accomplishments, but for the culinary all the inhabitants were grateful to him.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №59290
 28.01.2012
It is so cold! I would happily go home under the cloth, in wool socks,
On a chair with a hot coffee.
You will spoil...
Oh, and I’d go out with someone...

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №59289
 28.01.2012
The biggest fail of modernity is when he prepared food, came, and the series was not yet done, the fucker...

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №59288
 28.01.2012
"Can you tell us where in our city to find blood and intestines?"

Get buried in yourself, boy, get buried in yourself.

[ + 45 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №59287
 28.01.2012
and Green:
Let’s bring a cat!
No is! When he grows up, he will be crawling in the corner.
Or maybe a tiger?! to
No is! When he grows up, we will be on the corner.)
I am so happy: Hi. I read
Green: laughing after the word "we"
TOLIK: Yes, there is a clue

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