Our pensions are just cosmic: to live on them, like flying to the stars.

The endorphin.
One day, while on a long road trip, my friend and I stopped for lunch at a cafe on the road. My friend ordered a hot dog. I abstained, although I was terribly hungry. In the Michelin rating, this cafe would get a minus three stars, and I was afraid that hot dogs here understand literally and serve warm dogs.
“How can you eat this,” I joked, “you’re not afraid of animal defenders?”
“Mr. Endorphin is not for you,” the friend replied.
“Who – who?” I asked.
So I learned about Mr. Endorphin.
A friend cooked his hot dog, and he told me. Hot dogs cooked for a long time, apparently, first they had to catch a dog.
I had a man at my first job. The accountant. Well, such as to say, in the search you will not announce him - without special receipts. of the Middle Ages. When I first saw him, I thought, fu, what a flat, uninteresting uncle. Until one day I heard his quiet mosquito laughter. He sat in front of his monitor and hiccalled. I walked by and looked into the screen with curiosity. There is an accounting report in Excel. And he runs over him. You are not easy, man, I said to myself then. And still throw, or maybe it's time to roll out of that office, since the accountant cheats over financial documents.
In short, the character turned out to be. He always had everything excellent. This is his fitch. Do you understand? Always is. and all. Even in autumn. When any decent person wants a yardman to bury him deeper in the leaf. “Excellent” Not “normal.” Not “good.” Not even “excellent.” It is “excellent.”
The weather is just beautiful. I go to work once, the rain like a cage, the wind, the umbrella over me, I beat the spikes from the drops, the mood is awful. I see, before entering the office, this pepper stands on his knees in the water, looking under his feet. The sewage was stuck, the water splashed through the bridge streams on his shoes. See, he cries to me like a mountain river, and lickes.
His car is the best. One day he drove me. Go to his perpetum mobile. It looks like a "coin", but the back is suspiciously reminiscent of the Moskovich-412. Frankenstein is something. Listen to how the engine works, he tells me. The song yes? I listened. If the song, then this Stas Mikhailov in old age - cough and sporadic popping. And he doesn’t get up: and you won’t say that the girl is thirty years old. When I found out about the age of the girl, I asked to stop, because I would take my hand from here to the house. He went out on some desert and then walked for an hour to the nearest subway.
The resorts in it are all incredible. I went on a trip to Turkey for him. He talked to me for half a day about the best vacation in my life, about a space hotel, about a delicious Swedish table. He even had a saliva from the corner of his mouth. I bought it. We were thrown out of the plane almost with a parachute over some valley of death. In the middle of the lunar landscape - three collies and one hotel (so about space - not fooled). You can only get to the sea in dreams, a hotel in Kokuevo.
Swedish table - for workers and peasants: sausages, pasta and ketchup cups. I took a book of reviews from them. There, after a dozen inscriptions in Russian about "burn in hell" and "at your return to the Motherland, I will pass your coordinates to the missile troops", there was one, large, half-page: "VOSTORG!!Not with one, not with two, but with three crying signs, and all the big letters. A familiar name in the signature.
There were no decent facilities around the office at the time. I had to test my fate in the crowd. I always took him with me for lunch. What a stunning soup, how large the carrots were cut, how many selected potatoes, and the spice, the spice, he counted in a gastronomic half-blindness, over a plate with a puddle of sex cloth. Well, what a whitening, it is a miracle, not a whitening, the sweetest calf (every time in response to this the sweetest calf was surprised), the air tea, the juice, the juice of the streams, and so on. You listen to it, listen to it, and look - and the soup does not give the soap, and the white has failed and has not scratched the esophagus with the nails. And, most importantly, after lunch with him, I never got poisoned - apparently, the body in his presence released some protective substances.
It wasn’t a mask, that was interesting. 100% is not a mask. Everything is natural and organic. He was spared from life as a year-old child. Per as a child, he fell into a chain with tears of enthusiasm, weeped by the fans of Valery Obodzinsky, like Asterix - in a boiler with magical grease.
We called him “Mr. Endorphin.” In the smoking room, you could often hear: something fucking today, I'll go and talk to Endorphin. Mr. Endorphin shone with baldness like a lighthouse.
Do you know what is the funniest? He and his family are the same, under eternal phenazepam. He once invited me to visit. I quickly bought some undue cheap cake, waffle, well, with such first-class girls go on a date with the girls. We sat down at the table, with him, his wife and son, cut this wooden cake, squeezed two knives and bended one, laid out plates and went away. What a wonderful miracle, the child stumbled. What a wonderful shock, his wife picked up. Here are the fucks, they mock, I thought, and then I looked: no, people have natural ecstasy. When I said goodbye, I barely kissed my hands, all three.”
In this place, a hot dog was brought to a friend, and he finished the story.
“You asked me how I would eat it,” he said, “very simple: I’ll include Mr. Endorphin.”
A friend took a hot dog, brought it to his mouth and whispered:
"What a ruby sausage, with dust with heat, with spices. Oh, there is not only ketchup, from the most selected tomatoes, but also mustard, spicy, sweet. The coolest and freshest cake.
“The girl! “I cried through all the cafés to the owner of the establishment, I can also have a hot dog!”

In Moscow, there was a turn to the relics of St. Iphony.

There are wolves in the winter. A lot of traces (not to be confused with dogs) are already in the former building of the cable road. So, further the plateau alone is not desirable to walk. Better go with company.
Enough of the wolves.

A*le warned of burning display i*e X

The screensaver is returning solemnly.

Only, of course, they will somehow be cleverly named and will definitely be paid, because for successful people, those who can afford, and all that, yes.

Shit, how are you shit, shit, shit shit,
Of all, foolish, the text to hear, your mother, only the last line, you idiot patented,
the cock,
The brain in which class you are tainted.
When you were 13 years old, what did you do?! to
All, fixation on the topics "sex" and "money", no more ideas about this world and other people?! to
You have gone astray to the devil’s mother, fool, so that you do not have a bottom or a blanket.
Go back to fifth grade, sit down for textbooks.
Teach, fool, teach, fool, what else is in the world,
Buy a dictionary, read it, read it, shit, every word, shit, read it.
Look at it, you are damned.
Take the original quote and every word in it, shit, study,
When you learn, go back to the third class, where words are made into sentences, and put the words you have studied into sentences.
And realize, shit what you’ve been told.

This is not even a burning popcorn. It was virtually a nuclear explosion. I am in admiration!

What is it that prevents you from diversifying your life?
Yyy: Lenny and the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation

and e. To put it more simply, the nails are struck with a microscope, and they are struck. They just decided, once it happened, to breathe and focus on depreciating single-use microscopes.

For centuries, the scientific method has been trying to get away from the system of "touching like a blind kitten", and has gone before discussing what amfetamines to feed a cat so that it ticks faster.

I swallow in volvo. They are in a calf. Her eyes should have been seen at that moment.

She is still too young and has never seen a crumbling Volvo 850 from 1994.

Cat Da Vinci: I do not know any disagreement that would not be solved by stone, scissors and paper.
For all other cases, there is an old, good Colt.

The handwriting of a 8th grade student from Nepal is recognized as the best handwriting in the world.

XXX is a young girl. It is made by Nepali.

* discussion of the description to the vibrator on the website*
xxx: "When synchronized with the mobile application ZOO access to 16 vibration modes"
XHH: Can you add friends in the app and watch achievements, like in sports?

The mermaid was eating fish. I wanted fish very much, but still I wondered how her conscience allowed her to eat such things. She was surprised and said, “She’s half a man, so she doesn’t eat people either?”

It is not possible to buy oil in neighboring markets lately. It either does not exist, or 2-3 misty packs lie, deadly packed with scotch in broken plastic containers. A terrible spectacle.

For a long time I could not understand what they were hiding? Composition, shelf life, smell of mold? Questions about the oil the cashier answers " ask the employees".The employees somehow strangely pass, the oil is not issued, and on attempts to consider something through the container and scotch I look suspiciously, sinking around. It is not oil, but universal conspiracy and prohibited substances!

And here I find one normal package of oil on the window. I am happy to go to the box. Aunt, piercing her, screams deep into the room: “Masha! Tell Lene, the oil has been taken!" I am scared here again. What’s wrong with this oil? I decided to ask the straight question: "Comrades, what’s going on with you here?and "

It is often stolen. Therefore, we do not put it on the window.

This is so. A whole hypermarket is engaged in the protection of the only package of oil on the window. I would have a chain!

A teacher of philosophy educates a group of programmers on the subject of the resurrection of Christ:
On the Resurrection they opened a cave where Christ was buried. What do you think they found there?
C: It turned out that the body was stolen!

Parking is a good thing nowadays. My neighbors so successfully put the car in the courtyard that now the second week they do not drive anywhere on it, apparently, it is very unfortunate for them to lose such a messy place.

XXX: Don’t get upset.
WOW: I can’t do it!! I can’t give food for reflection, I start to catch without measure.
That’s from hunger 😉
The Frog (

The translation algorithms have improved dramatically over the past 20 years. A colleague on Friday helped a foreigner who climbed to the guard with the question of where to find the red square. Smartphone, geolocation, semantic behavior analysis - and a red square in translation for a tourist in the center of Moscow.

Discussions on the topic "The pigeon is a symbol of the world":
The pigeon is a wicked, devious, lustful creature. A perfect symbol for this world.

The fox runs through the woods and says, “Freedom to Ireland!” The wolf said to her, “Fuck, did you fall from the oak?” The fox said to him, “Why is this? I’m red and I’m patrician. Take the conclusions!”