The cat goes around his room and suddenly begins to knock his nails on the couch, right at everyone. Mom with the scream "I’m happy!And " they are chasing him. Her father tells her to stop tormenting an old sick cat. The cat makes 2 circles around the room, jumps on the back of the couch, runs behind his dad and looks through his back at his mom, like she is in the house. This is home.

The new tool for washing windows "Mr. Plynul"!

An advertisement at the entrance.
"I throw concrete" and below the phone...
at the bottom of the mark "SUKE I finally found you!"

These are such news.

Hundreds of drunk papagaies fell from trees in Australia
Prince William and his wife spend their honeymoon.

Every day you live makes someone a little older and someone smarter.
c) Sj

I stand in line for sausage and cheese. Products are always taken here, the director buys the products directly, the twists are low, so the interpreter is almost always.
My former classmate, Igor, comes in and goes to the box office. In turn, feeling awkward, she joined together and put out her elbows.
Here I must say that Igor was the most humble boy in our class, and in the whole school. When he was on his foot, he always apologized.
Since then, he has not changed much, and if he decided to go without a turn, then the circumstances must have been extraordinary.
Apologizing at the turn six times (I counted), Igor asked the seller:
“Elena Petrovna, please weigh me a stick of dry sausage.”
After a moment of such greed, the line erupted with curses and wishes, and one grandmother under the noise managed quite professionally to knock a couple of times with a fist on the kidneys, which Igor said every time.
“I’m sorry.”
When he, once again apologizing, found himself out of reach, the turn switched to the seller, demanding a complaint book. The most submerged in the slopes demanded the director.
“Igor Vasilyevich,” the saleswoman shouted, “come back, you are being asked here.”

In Russia, schoolchildren make taburets, and in China, they collect iPhones.

I love the rain, you can hide your tears in it.
I love the river, you can write in it without a fire.
I also love chocolate rivers, but let’s keep silent about it.

I am an idiot 😉
I’m driving at a speed of 100, I look at the clouds in the sky and think where they’re going.
HH: And here I got a brilliant idea!
XHHH: shake your finger, push out the window and check where the wind is blowing from!
Tags: Nobel to me

The secretary sets the password on the new boss's computer.
What password would you like?
- "Member of"!
Everyone in the office heard the secretary’s whisper when the computer issued the following:
"It is a mistake! The password is too short!"

For me, he changed Shift+Alt to Shift+Cntrl, as I do on the comp... He says to make me more comfortable ^_^

Maybe it is love)

The time has come when you stand at 2 o’clock at night in one of the pants with a shoe in your hand on the bed and look at this stall whirling.

From the news tape:
In Chelyabinsk opened the first in Russia rehabilitation center for copniks called "Man".

The authors of the project published a program appeal to the target audience. It concludes by saying, “We will not help you.”

I come to a friend. I see, he has an empty package of toothbrushes, a blue marker and blue toothbrushes on his table. I ask him nothing to do? On what he complains me so complainingly: "The Kursach should be written!".

XXX: Found a chic space simulator. I chose the moon and the earth. Increased the speed of the moon, it stumbled from the gravitational field of the earth, and how to catch I do not know

A woman speaks on the phone:
How many times have I told you not to watch this channel!!! I’ll go home, I’ll fuck it!! to
Then she said to her neighbor:
The son refuses to wash his clothes because, you can see, on NTV they said they have decoded the Bible, and next week will be the end of the world.

by Alexander (1:55) :
You can become a UK citizen if you have lived in the UK for 10 years.

by Alexander (1:55) :
14 years Illegal

by Alexander (1:55) :
Here I did not understand.

Name of Family (1:55) :
A kind of perseverance XD

by Alexander (1:56) :
If I go to England for a weekend, I’ll go back.

by Alexander (1:56) :
And in 14 years I will come and say that I have lived with them for 14 years.

by Alexander (1:56) :
They just didn’t notice me, I wasn’t legal.

Name of Family (1:56) :
Then you have to fly away secretly so that they can think. that you stayed there and were looking for, and then illegally fly and say that you are not quite unloving

But today my girl was upset when I said I didn’t like kids.
What should I do if there is a kindergarten under my windows, and every morning begins with “maaaaaaaaaaa!” I don’t want to!", "you won’t love me!" or just "waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

I go to my teenage daughter hoping to send her to the store.
Do you want me to go to the ice cream store and get something for me?
She (not separating from the comp): Since when have you become an extrasensitive, ma?
I: in the sense?
She: Well you clearly guessed that I really don’t want to.

xxx: tried to mess with a girl in a club, like in a Burn advertisement (he suddenly approaches there, turns to himself and kisses)
YYY: And how then? Does it work?
xxx: nifiga - the spleen broke, and tomorrow I go to the dentist - she also broke my tooth for the journey