Our dog, the German Shepherd Dusi, is no longer alive, but some of the stories of the heroines she has been told so far. The dog had a normal sense of humor and everyone knew about it. And she was the favourite of all the entrance, she loved to visit, like all the dogs, she loved when she was fed, but she was not a beggar and she did not eat. In this case, it could be scratched and scratched. But the story is not about that, but about speaking birds.
Neighbors Vitaly and Olga lived with birds. Kenar Kesha and the wave-shaped poppy Petya. Kenar sang beautifully and swallowingly. Such treats with such transitions - I have never heard of them. The pope said, “The bird,
Petya is good, good. The birds were free. They flew around the living room, flying freely around the room. Of course, they targeted everything they could.
Tasting delicious from the plate. Sitting on their heads and hands. At the same time, each had his own cell with an open door, into which they flew tired of freedom.
But one day, Ducey and I came for a visit. Yes, I forgot to say that the dog’s reaction was instant. Natural data and constant training: catching flies and mosquitoes in total darkness... We stand in the hallway, waiting for permission to pass. At that time, the puppy thought about flying over the head of the dog. To further actions the brain simply did not react so quickly everything happened. There was a bird and not... and not even whispered. From the closed, not very small fist of the shepherds, two rainbow paparazzi wings sparked... No scene. Very similar to the symbol of our Aeroflot, the Dog did not know what to do next with its prey.
All the actors on the scene were just upset. The situation was saved by Olga - the owner and educator of the bird. On a pure ultrasound she whispered: Duousya... Yippidy yi yi! Dusya was a very polite dog, and she realized she had done something wrong. The fist opened, a poppy broke out of it and somehow flew into his cage with a zig-zag. Nothing was broken. No bite or physical injury. Only a nervous breakdown in the poor pope. At first he polished. Then he stopped talking. Then somehow uncertainly remembered that he was a Petya and very good. But here is the exhausting cry:
The Doomsday...! He repeated accurately. We never went to the birds with our dogs. The dog had no mental injuries.

It turns out, the expression, "The man said - the man did" correctly sounds like this:
“The man said. The woman reminded. The woman reminded. The woman reminded.
The woman reminded. The woman borrowed. The man stumbled and did.”

The FFFUUU comic book. The essence is this: A glamorous blonde in which everything is pink (taking into account the floor, walls, clothes, etc.) Waiting for her boyfriend. And suddenly she notices that her pale cat grumbled at the door.

Commentary: The "Fuck. The pink floor. I would have made fun of myself."

Kech: So is it. While my week was with my parents, after every time I was with you, I threw the condoms and dropped them. Well, without a fire, do not forget there by chance.
Lizzie : Well?
Kech: So yesterday apparently filled the cup of the white friend's patience, because when his wife returned, he stuck capital, and I haven't yet why it could happen:( Called the sanitary.

Figo is stupid.

by VIO:
xxx: How to pump an old, rural antenna to show more channels
Yyy: Get up and wait for the first storm.
During a thunderstorm, hold on to the bar and stand barefoot in the pit!Wait for the updating of the TV reception level directly into the brain.

Smirnoff: So you got married to him?
Frost by Ugo. Something is wrong?
Smirnoff: Yes no, Tannush. All is so. He is not worthy of you. In his place I should have been! I am! and I!!!! Do you understand? Being a friend is also good. But after all that we’ve experienced together, we’d like to have a higher status!
Frost: to move to a higher status, send a message with the appropriate code to the short number 8-916-521-XX-XX
1) A close friend
2) The best friend
3) The lover
Smirnoff: Here’s... That’s all you. Senseless bot and troll forum :-/

I am looking for an assistant in the service center. In a bunch of resume I find the ideal candidate, without looking at the name I open the photo and... see my rose!

Thanks to the developers of mobile games using the gyroscope!!! Thanks to them, I brought a plate of borst to the computer and did not pour it out!

In the sea, three teenagers try to sink the fourth. He is constantly breaking out and shouting, “I am a living PADLA!”

The heat does not leave a chance for the deceiver.)

By the way:
of the best:
"I'll see in the best - I'll give Dime a touch of breasts!!! to
Katya, 4th size"
Dima, with you all for beer for effort))

Not Dima, but Dmitry Anatolyevich, a young man.

At work in the toilet they hanged a sign: "Do not throw paper into the toilet". Below someone signed - or the fish is bad =).

The idiots of advertisers
For three weeks, a woman with perfect hands was chosen. I needed a frame in which women's hands pull out of the Russian oven hot in pots. The agency did not leave the consortium. All hands crossed. Are there perfect joints between the flanks of the fingers? Are the nail plates so good? I was called at three o’clock at night with clarificing questions: “What is the name of the actress who has a slightly curved left hand? Larionova or Fedorova?” and I knew it was Potapova. Invited a special master of manicure with the entire palette of lacquer. The manicure cost 15,000 rubles. Then began the real concierge. Choose a dress with the right long sleeve. Then they thought: will the brick color of the sleeve argue in the frame with the color of clay pots? And during the shooting, they realized that a woman cannot pull out hot hot hot with her naked hands. At this point, a small cabbage began. Therefore, they gave the actress a grip in her hands, put on huge gloves-gloves and normally removed.

The first course. The first pair of matanalysis in the technical university.
Subject: The actual function of the actual variable. Surrective, injective and bijective functions. Complex and reverse function.
The voice from the back: I changed my mind. Take me to the army.

Are pirates those who flood, or those who just listen?

Pirates are those who rob ships. And not otherwise.

"Peasants on crossings are required to raise their hands"

Long live the walk of Dr. Zeidberg on the transitions... and not only!

We conducted a telephone survey of our customers, the company puts plastic windows.I explained if everything is okay,how quickly they installed the window etc.I will call the next one.

I: "Good morning!Bla-Bla, are you all happy?"
K: "Yes, everything is well, put fast...One request to you only, for the future..."
I: "Of course, I listen to you?"
Q: I strongly ask to reduce the number of attached maculature, these e-learning advertisements, instructions and other shit, because the instruction to the window, first of all, no one needs it, and secondly, you can accidentally drop it on the floor, slide, drive a little on it along the corridor and slow your teeth to half, of course, with a cup of hot tea!!and "

I watched the top gear series.
– Yes... the suspension on the car, of course, is tough...
It’s like coming home from work, lying on a couch, and it’s made of Chuck Norris.

I am now going to work, I am passing through the parking lot in the yard. There are several cars on the parking lot and one of them is a white puddle with outcry signs and the inscription "Remember yourself" on the rear glass. He smiled and felt.

Stop by:
From the Dating Site:
sympathetic blonde, sociable, fun, I love animals, but I can't find a good guy
Stop by:
Here is the phrase about animals and the guy as it is perceived together