My wife and I are on a wedding trip. We take a note from parents that you should not forget to take with you (such as take a passport, tickets, towels, clean socks, underwear, etc.). D is It comes to the point "condoms" - carefully crossed with a pen and a "pressure device" is written on the side;

HHH
How are you there?
WOWU
God is
WOWU
How to live
WOWU
Lemonade is the hell of lemons.

XXX (09:58:26 4/04/2011)
In the morning, my husband attacked me - I had to give in to this coveted orangutan, now I don't want to work at all and it hurts - he's quite angry, a dog... In the car I told him everything about this, so he found a scam: grit, he specifically did so that it's better to hurt than to provoke bad thoughts. I said that they don’t judge others on their own, he said that men are not concerned – they always want to. I do not understand how you and your eternal houses still managed to move civilization, to invent wheels, to write poems, to design pyramids... The husband stumbled and said that it was because the wheels were invented, that it was terribly uncomfortable to roll on squares - slowly)))))) Well, you are not ugly, right?

She: Can we think of something funny, what a surprise?and :)
Hm, is he an example? You’ll reveal your breasts, and I’m a jayza?
What’s so surprising about your eggs?? to

The Spring.
Hate for dogs, smokers and motorists is tripling.

Responsibility for the heat last summer in Russia took the shamans of South Africa. True, they repented - said, had a bit of anticipation, so the case came to fires. This year, the shamans are going to repeat the experiment, but specify that they will direct their vuvuzeles to the other side. In their opinion, in this case, the effect will be different - instead of tropical heat will come Arctic.

Fuck, give me the grass that our media smokes.

He went to a friend, sat in VKontakte, playing a zombie farm.
I am on the unit:
What is this for?
He is a wooden...
That’s a cook, right?
Ahah...
Who else is there?
- There are other stones, but I lack brains for them (((
The voice of a neighbor’s room
It is blue!!! I know! I know!
The thought in the head "This is their family...."

Conversation in the clinic. I came with the horke (not a frequent occurrence in our city) and the doctor (B) with the nurse (M) are interested in how this animal is contained at home:
Do you live in a cage?
I: No, he has my own, sleeps where he wants, climbs where he can and so on.
Q. Is it in the pot?
I – Yes, of course
A: Fige to myself, and I thought they were completely brainless all my life!
M: Okay, do you remember the rabbit?
A rabbit is not an animal at all, it is food!

on the website on employment vacancies "nocturnal".
Responsibilities: sleep, eat, watch TV, guess crosswords, read

from the correspondence of admin. A colleague from the COA asks to order lemons at the COA, he was asked to count - how much they need. This is an analytical job! We all respect him:

" well... Now I count.

There are approximately 45 people.
According to the results of statistical analysis, lemons are used:
Coffee – 1%
with tea – 17%
with cognac – 2%
Just nothing – 5%

A total of 44% of COD employees or 11.25 people regularly consume lemon.
On average, the daily consumption rate is 2 circles.
That is, the consumption of lemons in the COD is 22.5 circles per day.

Standard size lemon can be cut into 12 circles.
Thus, the consumption of whole lemons is 1.875 lemons per day.

From the calculation that the storage time of fresh lemons in the refrigerator at a temperature of 4 degrees Celsius 2 weeks or 10 working days, it turns out that the actual need for COA is rounded up to 19 lemons.

Do you know why it is at midnight that the frog becomes dirty and not beautiful, the carriage turns into a pumpkin, the lackey into a rat, and all that?

No, why not?

Photoshop license expires.

She put in her luggage:
a tail, two swords and a cruise.
knives, knives and seals
The head of Elf Glartier.

I came late at night from work. My grandmother is 73 years old and her children are minors. Everyone sleeps... I go to the bathroom, and there is an epilator... Okay, I will ask my eldest son tomorrow, in which places I did depilation :) STOP!!! Why doesn’t the dog meet me? O_O

From a conversation with a familiar bassist about girls bassists
xxx: I met one girl, her name is Bass)))
Is he playing on the base? x )
xxx: no, only a little on the guitar
But I would marry her and take her name.

From the German city of Petting (Petting) to the Austrian Fuking (Fucking) can be reached by car in 40 minutes.

Sauron: Today is a lost day
by Sauron: 4.04

Be cursed the inventor of the toilet with the "flash effect"!

I: Men will soon need equal rights with women. How is emancipation called the opposite?
It is... pedophilia!!!? to

Gasoline is expensive because gasoline prices rise.
The cost of transportation increases

xxx: I beat, and lately more and more fantasize about women..I had a girlfriend, so I understand what it’s about.. Sometimes I feel like I’m ready to realize my fantasies with a real man.. but how do I find her? I don't want to post a photo on dating sites, I don't want to tell a lot about myself, I don't know how to get to know on the sites (although, why, as a result, I still write on the site))), I don't see the opportunity to find her among my acquaintances. I am 33, I want the ease of communicating with a free adult positive person.
Thanks for your comments))

YYY: How can I bake cakes if I don’t have flour, kefir, eggs and cabbage, oatmeal, oven without oven, and I can’t, I don’t want to go to the store and I don’t know the recipe? I sit evil and hungry. What to do?