bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №45484
 05.04.2011
My wife and I are on a wedding trip. We take a note from parents that you should not forget to take with you (such as take a passport, tickets, towels, clean socks, underwear, etc.). D is It comes to the point "condoms" - carefully crossed with a pen and a "pressure device" is written on the side;

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №45483
 05.04.2011
HHH
How are you there?
WOWU
God is
WOWU
How to live
WOWU
Lemonade is the hell of lemons.

[ + 42 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №45482
 04.04.2011
XXX (09:58:26 4/04/2011)
In the morning, my husband attacked me - I had to give in to this coveted orangutan, now I don't want to work at all and it hurts - he's quite angry, a dog... In the car I told him everything about this, so he found a scam: grit, he specifically did so that it's better to hurt than to provoke bad thoughts. I said that they don’t judge others on their own, he said that men are not concerned – they always want to. I do not understand how you and your eternal houses still managed to move civilization, to invent wheels, to write poems, to design pyramids... The husband stumbled and said that it was because the wheels were invented, that it was terribly uncomfortable to roll on squares - slowly)))))) Well, you are not ugly, right?

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №45481
 04.04.2011
She: Can we think of something funny, what a surprise?and :)
Hm, is he an example? You’ll reveal your breasts, and I’m a jayza?
What’s so surprising about your eggs?? to

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №45480
 04.04.2011
The Spring.
Hate for dogs, smokers and motorists is tripling.

[ + 52 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №45479
 04.04.2011
Responsibility for the heat last summer in Russia took the shamans of South Africa. True, they repented - said, had a bit of anticipation, so the case came to fires. This year, the shamans are going to repeat the experiment, but specify that they will direct their vuvuzeles to the other side. In their opinion, in this case, the effect will be different - instead of tropical heat will come Arctic.

Fuck, give me the grass that our media smokes.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №45478
 04.04.2011
He went to a friend, sat in VKontakte, playing a zombie farm.
I am on the unit:
What is this for?
He is a wooden...
That’s a cook, right?
Ahah...
Who else is there?
- There are other stones, but I lack brains for them (((
The voice of a neighbor’s room
It is blue!!! I know! I know!
The thought in the head "This is their family...."

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №45477
 04.04.2011
Conversation in the clinic. I came with the horke (not a frequent occurrence in our city) and the doctor (B) with the nurse (M) are interested in how this animal is contained at home:
Do you live in a cage?
I: No, he has my own, sleeps where he wants, climbs where he can and so on.
Q. Is it in the pot?
I – Yes, of course
A: Fige to myself, and I thought they were completely brainless all my life!
M: Okay, do you remember the rabbit?
A rabbit is not an animal at all, it is food!

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №45476
 04.04.2011
on the website on employment vacancies "nocturnal".
Responsibilities: sleep, eat, watch TV, guess crosswords, read

[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №45475
 04.04.2011
from the correspondence of admin. A colleague from the COA asks to order lemons at the COA, he was asked to count - how much they need. This is an analytical job! We all respect him:

" well... Now I count.

There are approximately 45 people.
According to the results of statistical analysis, lemons are used:
Coffee – 1%
with tea – 17%
with cognac – 2%
Just nothing – 5%

A total of 44% of COD employees or 11.25 people regularly consume lemon.
On average, the daily consumption rate is 2 circles.
That is, the consumption of lemons in the COD is 22.5 circles per day.

Standard size lemon can be cut into 12 circles.
Thus, the consumption of whole lemons is 1.875 lemons per day.

From the calculation that the storage time of fresh lemons in the refrigerator at a temperature of 4 degrees Celsius 2 weeks or 10 working days, it turns out that the actual need for COA is rounded up to 19 lemons.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №45474
 04.04.2011
Do you know why it is at midnight that the frog becomes dirty and not beautiful, the carriage turns into a pumpkin, the lackey into a rat, and all that?

No, why not?

Photoshop license expires.

[ + 55 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №45473
 04.04.2011
She put in her luggage:
a tail, two swords and a cruise.
knives, knives and seals
The head of Elf Glartier.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №45472
 04.04.2011
I came late at night from work. My grandmother is 73 years old and her children are minors. Everyone sleeps... I go to the bathroom, and there is an epilator... Okay, I will ask my eldest son tomorrow, in which places I did depilation :) STOP!!! Why doesn’t the dog meet me? O_O

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №45471
 04.04.2011
From a conversation with a familiar bassist about girls bassists
xxx: I met one girl, her name is Bass)))
Is he playing on the base? x )
xxx: no, only a little on the guitar
But I would marry her and take her name.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №45470
 04.04.2011
From the German city of Petting (Petting) to the Austrian Fuking (Fucking) can be reached by car in 40 minutes.

[ + 60 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №45469
 04.04.2011
Sauron: Today is a lost day
by Sauron: 4.04

[ + 71 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №45468
 04.04.2011
Be cursed the inventor of the toilet with the "flash effect"!

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №45467
 04.04.2011
I: Men will soon need equal rights with women. How is emancipation called the opposite?
It is... pedophilia!!!? to

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №45466
 04.04.2011
Gasoline is expensive because gasoline prices rise.
The cost of transportation increases

[ + 76 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №45465
 04.04.2011
xxx: I beat, and lately more and more fantasize about women..I had a girlfriend, so I understand what it’s about.. Sometimes I feel like I’m ready to realize my fantasies with a real man.. but how do I find her? I don't want to post a photo on dating sites, I don't want to tell a lot about myself, I don't know how to get to know on the sites (although, why, as a result, I still write on the site))), I don't see the opportunity to find her among my acquaintances. I am 33, I want the ease of communicating with a free adult positive person.
Thanks for your comments))

YYY: How can I bake cakes if I don’t have flour, kefir, eggs and cabbage, oatmeal, oven without oven, and I can’t, I don’t want to go to the store and I don’t know the recipe? I sit evil and hungry. What to do?

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