Wife:... he is moving to Canada on PMS!
Husband: Sunnychko, you have PMS every month, and he moves to PMJ.

Conversation with Mom.
I’ll go out for a walk with Mommy.
Is it Vasa?
This is Masha Masha.

Have you ever thought about a gift for March 8th?
YYY : No. We observe the tradition - to think about a gift on March 8, valuing a gift on February 23.

Whoever dines with a girl, dances with her.
It happens that you dance the girl and you think, fucking, it would be better not to eat dinner!

What will we do tomorrow, Brain?
- The same as today, Pinki, update the contact!

A guy and a girl discuss why the car did not start at -25 and how to start it correctly.
Q:...you understand — you poured the candles, so you didn’t go. You can’t turn the starter several times in a row, it’s not summer. Gasoline enters the engine, but does not evaporate and does not go anywhere. The candles become raw and do not give a spark.
D: How is it?
Q: If the car fails to freeze from the first attempt, you have to wait about a minute or less before trying to start it a second time. For example, I think of myself by 30.
D: And why all this shit?
Q: At first, the battery will rest a little, but that’s not the main thing. The main thing is that at such a low temperature, gasoline does not have time to evaporate in the cylinder. Gasoline is a liquid, it does not burn by itself. And gasoline vapors burn, but in order for them to burn, it is necessary for steam to form from the liquid, and gasoline evaporates at low temperatures slower than, for example, in the room. In the cylinder a cloud of gasoline steam is formed, it is then, burning, and pushes the piston.
D: What is there? Is something burning?
P: This is not the word burning, there are real explosions happening. You’ve gotten rid of a crap, did you hear it? The engine is 5 times louder.
D: I’m scared...why did you tell me all this? How will I ride now?? to

I wish you in the new year:
wine and vodka factory, 2 wagons,
our money 3 lemons, a vacation for 10, a boat, a yacht, a lexus of a new brand, diamonds a whole train!!! to
For all these gifts, Santa has brought you!!! With New Year!

Kirill: And the thread with the needle to sew the cracked...oh!!!! to

5 year old daughter:
He runs to his mother, hugs her for her legs, looks with doubt, leads her foot with a pen. He says with horror in his voice:
“Mommy, are you turning into an eagle?! to

Davi barely walked away. All of the radio. There is such a broadcast on AutoRadio - Agency of Funny Messages. In the studio trio “Murzilki International”, and here the host Gordeeva reads the news about the Mexican seems to be the company “Minerva”, which set up the production of beer for homosexuals. Type light drink with honey taste, blabla. Here, grit, do you know what signs allow directly by the label to determine the target group of consumers? The men in the studio are silent, she laughs, well, I’m glad you don’t know. and :)
Further a little detail, and at the end of the news, Zahar, who had been silently silent before, suddenly said: "The main thing is that they do not exaggerate with honey, or they will cling." Scuco, I barely slipped under the steering wheel! and :)

I work in a music store, including selling headphones. There is a 20% discount for employees. The guy came, got to work, took on the headphones and we haven’t seen him for a week))

I'm considering buying a kitchen headset on the same scheme.)

Zionkv is today. The night. We lie on waltz. He begins to drive on my hand with his foot. Well, I think it’s itching, I mean. Driving and stopping. Five minutes later, this miracle suddenly disrupts, looks at me with an empty gaze and says, “Bad!” I was in panic, what I think happened? I stopped him, hurled on him: "What is wrong?". Fighting through a dream: "It’s bad that you’re not a grandmother..."

What are wrong priorities? A good, expensive gold chain, presented by colleagues on the anniversary, dust on the shelf - I don't like gold. A thick package of rubber inserts "Turbo" lies in a vacuum packaging in a very reliable place.

The producer of The Chronicles of Narnia died of an overdose.

Why am I not surprised?

My son bought a Nihua-Hua puppy yesterday. and Abdel. Eight hundred backs were dropped.
Yes, these shit bags are crazy 😉
XXX: I’ll give him a room palm in a barrel so that there’s a place to walk the dog.

My grandmother is urinating:
"And why did you hide the money? I haven’t even seen it!"

Nats

If you are reading this, then the new education reform has not yet affected you.

Prepod: What if I ask you to count whether this line coincides or divides?
Student: I will hang myself.
It’s right, he is separating.

On one of the porn sites comments:

by 666
I have a penis of 14.5 cm that is normal, I am 15 years old, who has what? just honest.
MDF
I’m also 15, honestly I’m 16 cm... Will he really grow up?? to
Elijah
I'm 10 and I'm 45 cm, what do I do with it?!!!! to

Yana^: I tell him, do you want a laptop for the 23rd? He says he has no such money. Issue :' (

xxx: Shake up, I go on the street yesterday, I see the car stands, and on it a plastic shell * hooligan * and scratched down I too))