bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №43244
 16.02.2011
Lena: my husband when I was pregnant I wore shoes and boots.)))
Denis: And you stood up, shrugged your head and shouted, “I’m not going anywhere!”

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №43243
 16.02.2011
I just watched another series. All as usual, paphos, wedding, revenge... But when an unknown guy approached the girl and said, “Hello, I am Prince Alexy, an oligarch from Belarus,” I couldn’t look further.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №43242
 16.02.2011
If silence were gold, all fish would be gold.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №43241
 16.02.2011
Confident reception
Once we sat down with my friend, the old Gabeshnik Yuri Tarasovich, and discussed modern mints. Which is better: the old Soviet or the data we feel?
I pushed my line:
- Tarasych, menta - always menta, what then, what now. the ass
Free from the chair will not be removed, but for the grandmothers - will be removed to anyone...
They are fat so that no one will pay for their morning exercise.
And everyone always tries to encrypt somehow not humanly, not words in simplicity: one day I interviewed the catcher on an accident, the accident is serious, but unthinkable: the jeep went for a "meeting" in the forehead of the "gigula".
The guilty was at least henna, and the driver Jiguliy was taken by an ambulance with a fracture of the leg.
All of.
Here’s what he said to us in the camera:
Vehicle driving on this road,
violated the GDPR under the direct control of the driver; and
As a result, he failed to handle the last...
Here, as you can see, there is a second participant in the accident in the person of the vehicle, which also took place in this incident.
As a result of the incident, none of the participants were injured, except for the driver of this affected vehicle. He was immediately sent to the appropriate institution for medical purposes.
Targaryen :
- Yes, it is, but before there were real criminals, not those who
I paid money to buy a job like I do now.
After all, the horror of modern police is not that they don’t want to work, but that they can’t.
Here is a simple example from my friend's practice: in the nineties he worked as an investigator in a small provincial town of Russian depths.
Late in the evening, a sailor’s wife was called by a husband, who was somewhere in the ocean. At that time, there were practically no mobile or satellite phones, and the sailors called home through the special coastal service on radio waves, and the "callboy" had already called her wife on the phone and connected her to a radio conversation with the ship.
So here, the husband called, we talked about this, went to business:
“Masha, now listen to me very carefully: tomorrow morning to you.
I have to go my friend motorist Slavik. I said to him, Kübyshev 10, and
How you’re called, short, I don’t think it’s going to get lost.
He will bring a big doll from me in a box until I hide it until my birthday. Don’t show me, I’ll come for a gift.
Masha, you have to give him 5,000 backs. Do you remember where they lie?
The Wife:
Well I remember.
The Mariner:
- This Slavik chases cars from the bundes and promised to push me.
Tested “beha” - as for itself, almost new. Kiss the oil.
Don’t let me go tomorrow, Slowake.

In the morning, Slavik arrived, handed a huge overseas doll, took 5 pieces of money, ate lunch and went safely to the bundes.

One hour later a smiling man called the door, handed a large doll and said he was a motorist Slavik.
The woman put the guest to lunch and slowly called the police from the neighbor.
The dress that came very ruined the man's mood, but it quickly became clear that his name was Slavik and according to the document he is the most real motorist...
The man knocked the door and also went to the bundes.

Do you know what a modern detective would say about this case?
First, he would try not to accept the statement, insulting the seafarer's wife for lightheartedness: say, you voluntarily handed the fraudster money, and where is the proof that you had them at all? They didn’t ask for papers, it was their fault. I still have the honor. Call me if anything.
and all.
In the most miserable case, if the victim still insisted, and she had connections, the criminal case would be initiated, but immediately suspended with the honest formulation: "In connection with the impossibility to establish the culprit..."

Yes or not?
I am :
- Yes, it is so, but what, Tarasych, you want to say that then - in
Are you looking for it seriously? I am not very myself.
How can this wind be found in the field? The fingerprints, then
are...
Targaryen :
- Congratulations, you would have become a great modern mint, they too
“I don’t know,” because they hadn’t ever been sitting at lectures.
criminals, they needed to earn money to account for
Criminalistic...

And my friend investigator of the old Soviet sample, without wasting time on unnecessary conversations, recorded in the notebook the testimony of the woman and went to think. have thought. It turned out that intercept the telephone conversation could only be on the radio, but to capture a radio signal from a distant ocean on the ordinary Chinese magnetolk will not work.
He went to the local radio amateur society, consulted, rewrote the surnames of suitable people according to the description, bypassed the district, employees.
ZEC, asked: who on the roofs or balconies stretched longer radio antennas?
He collected seventy photographs of the suspects on the passport tables and showed them to the seafarer's wife. In a word, my companion had to be quite like his legs from the very morning until late evening, and this is not counting the call of a dozen toy stores, but by the evening of the same day, the first one, the first one.
“Slavik,” already in vain tried to fall asleep in a small local, but provincial cozy SIZO.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №43240
 16.02.2011
On March 1, I will go out and scream: mints are goats!! to
- I do not advise - there will be no mints, but the goats, they are goats and will remain...

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №43239
 16.02.2011
I walk with my beloved girl. We gently kiss, she immediately after the kiss looks at me with such eyes and a cat's smile and gently says:
You are such a cute kitten when you kiss, kind, defenseless, right on the eggs.

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №43238
 16.02.2011
Short term psychotherapy:
I am standing in a dumb, waiting for a familiar doctor. She goes through the corridor. She is pursued by the sick and begins to complain unreasonably about something. Directly scratched. The psychiatrist turns out and says: I don’t want to live anymore!!!! to

[ + 81 - ] Comment quote №43237
 16.02.2011
In Finland, young people with internet addiction are granted a postponement from the army.

Oh how...

[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №43236
 16.02.2011
<xxx> Hello to you! How is it? Have you not married yet?
<yyy> What a marriage! University has to be completed. I want to do a career. A world of unknown possibilities.
<xxx> Do you know the name?
<yyy> I don’t know what it is :(

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №43235
 16.02.2011

XXX is
By the way, how to distinguish a real shepherd who will sell good honey from a scammer who will steam "sugar"
YYYY
The cheater's face is clever and clever, and the real pet is swollen and swollen!

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №43234
 16.02.2011
I talk to a girl on the phone. Boring communication turns into sex on the phone and in the most interesting place she says: "And here..." the call ends. After a half-minute SMS from an unknown number "And here is the stake! The money is over!"

[ + 82 - ] Comment quote №43233
 16.02.2011
I sit in the kitchen with my dad and eat lunch. The pigeons gathered on the window. His father was tired of it and he grabbed the towel and waved them by the window. The reaction is zero. Then comes the epic moment.
The father grabbed the knife and ran to the window and shouted:
I have a knife!! See you? The knife!! to

I could not eat for a long time.)

[ + 68 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №43232
 16.02.2011
Why don’t you have a girlfriend?
YYY: Well, because the costs of energy, time, and the means to acquire and operate it are disproportionately high with the benefits it brings. It’s like inventing a machine to tie the ropes. You will spend a lot of time, money, and effort, and there will be not much of it.
xxx: that is, you're going to tie the ropes by hand all your life?)))

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №43231
 16.02.2011
The xxx:
I’m not going to eat snipers anymore.
YYYY :
Why is?
The xxx:
Von Wolfkova ate and became a terrible man

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №43230
 16.02.2011
xxx (21:45:51 14/02/2011)
How is the weather

yyy (21:46:00 14/02/2011)
and fucking

yyy (21:46:10 14/02/2011)
I am on the network.)

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №43229
 16.02.2011
About the cancellation of the transition to winter time:

All the cows there are disgusted more wildly that they are suddenly fed and fed an hour earlier or later than the usual schedule. BigMacki then with a taste of despair.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №43228
 16.02.2011
xxx: You will always say "I don't want", and you will have a child unwilling.
YYY: If I’m going to always say ‘I don’t want’ I won’t have a child at all!

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №43227
 16.02.2011
One film forum has a theme about computer toys and consoles, 760+ pages. And there is a constant quarrel on the topic of "Crysis vs Console". Adminov is fun, they amuse the theme constantly changing names. Now she is called "The Best Prostitutes of Moscow". Today I go into the topic and see the following post:

- Yesterday my father approached me, said: Nihua se, well, if you forgot about your computer toys o_0

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №43226
 16.02.2011
xxxxxxxxxxx:
Chacha got married
WOW :
What is?
xxxxxxxxxxx:
Transmit by letters
Chaplin Choplin Choplin Choplin Choplin Choplin Choplin Choplin Choplin Choplin Choplin Choplin Choplin

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №43225
 16.02.2011
XXX: virginity is an extensive concept.

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