I just don’t know who to share with.
WOW: What happened?
My brother got sick with the flu. I went to treat him yesterday. I washed everything, cooked food, cleaned garlic, dried tablets.
WOW: Well milk, and what status is that?
So came his friend. brought a beer. With the details, I slept with him.
O O O O O O
I still sit at work drunk. How to live further.
Don’t worry about who doesn’t happen to you.
That kind of shit could only happen to me. A friend turned out to be a minor - once, gay (brother in the morning called said) - two, our new employee - three.

I stand on the pedestrian, it burns red, everyone is waiting, except for one guy: he decided to run over and in the middle of the road in front of the gazelle stumbled.And they alternately drag forward and can not decide!

In 2001, Putin signed a law according to which the first person of the state cannot be brought to criminal and administrative responsibility for crimes committed while in office.

Ho-ho is a clever creature.

I recently watched Darth Vader and 3 Musketeers on TV.
xxx: fun to review - a lot of new notices
xxx: there was a scene where G.G. stumbled with constant (the house owner’s wife, if chao), descending down. The owner of the house, when will we pay for the house? The Darth Vader swirls his sword, gets his sword and says that there is no money, and if the noble don again hears about the quarterplate, he will smash it.
xxx: here I rented the apartment for several years, as it didn't come to mind, what can and so

Laboratory work in physics.
On the device a label with the inscription: "Do not lie!"
The answer below: "Yes well!"

Harvard scientists have received three light signals of extraterrestrial origin, the first decoded as X, the second as U, decoding the third, and only Russia knows what the letter will be there.

Q: Did you buy a second computer?
I contacted my mom. (

The poor programmers of VKontakte. When Facebook’s Ideas End

By constantly working on mistakes, you bring them to perfection.

Harma
Peter in 1990.
The first days of institutional life. settlement in the community. No one knows yet, there is a pressure. In one room, three girls were settled: two simply painted blondes from small towns, the third character is more interesting: a beetle with long hair, while stout.
“The Metalist.” Her name was Garma.
From the morning, while the bags and boxes were unpacked, she had time to hang the posters “IRON MAIDEN” and “KISS” over the bed instead of the carpet.
Her neighbors in the first day of their married life were thirsty for adventure.
Four March cats walked through the corridor on the first floor this morning.
Self-satisfied such, important, tails with the pipe and ears on the mole. These cats were students of the Mojave Military School, they took in circulation two of our painted blondes.
The cats were “thought-out”, they had sausages and vodka with them.
They came into the room and started drinking a snack: “for beautiful ladies” and “for love”.
Garma was sitting on her bed and waiting for them to finish and break up, or things were not disassembled, and it was time to go to sleep.
The students tried to tempt her to their party, but the beetle silently shrugged her head. She was inadequate. She wore large headphones on her ears, turned on the player, and sat down and nodded her head to the music.
After five hours, she said:
Sorry, but you know that now the guard will be closed and you will not be able to do so anymore.
Get out of communion?
The courses:
Are you against the four Defenders of the Motherland?
Protecting your dream?
and GARMA:
How is it? Not changing clothes or eating.
The girls:
God has sent us a boring neighbor.
Courses are held:
Dress up and don’t be afraid. There is nothing good with you anyway.
We shall see...
Garma breathed and put his head on the head again.
Another half hour passed. Suddenly the blondes saw that the students opened their eyes and with animal horror, without breaking away, looked behind the back of the girls, into the corner where Garma was sitting.
The girls also turned sharply and just got out the same way...
There was a heart-breaking picture before everyone, which none of them will ever forget until the end of their days (good that I haven’t seen it). The bull was sitting in the headphones swinging in the tone of music, on her knees lay a bag from which looked like a human skull.
Garma, trying not to affix it, with the help of a long medical pincet, extracted from empty eyelids and through the jaw, small pieces of meat dried in the skull and unnoticedly ate them with appetite.
There was a stinking smell of meat in the room.
The building exploded with a scream of six people.
Garma quickly hid her skull back in the bag, looking at the present with her buryatic eyes.
A fraction of a second later, all six were already in the hallway. After emptying their stomachs, they ran, cried and sealed the door so that the cannibal didn’t jump out of the room.

The police arrived, understood what it was and ran a "telega" at the school on bold drunken students.
With Harma I later became very friends, such creative people are not so often and meet.
After all, smoking out of the room of four healthy men, who spent on two blondes vodka and sausages, is not so easy.
Even if you, like the wicked “metallist”, have a plastic skull in the farm, who would have thought of pushing a piece of pot into it and extracting it a bit through the eyelids...?

How is life?
The mouse would like it.

Tornado201: By the way, who are you by religion?
Tagged as: peasant
Tornado201: Could you be a Christian?
SuperOleg: there is no peasant from the word cross if you are so dumb that you do not know it is your problems
Tornado201: handcuffs

Nikitos: When I arranged for work, I was warned that there was a friendly team here, but I didn’t think that was so much. The boss - in the board his guy, the rest room of the staff and his office it turned out to be the same. I sit on an interview, some guy comes in, approaches the boss and without embarrassment grits so to him: "Tolyanich, move your pelvis, I will sit...", he stood up and splashed on the couch, the guy sat in his place, pulled, crushed his bones and fell asleep. And here by loud communication: "Tolanych, drag your ass here, we have an emergency!". In the background there is a hustle and someone is roaring. Something I think I would like to work here)))

Have you ever wanted to be a girl?
BENGER: O_o
Water is answered)
The water is fucking)
Benger: Congratulations to you! - Your previous question at 3 p.m. "How do you feel about same-sex love?" - move to 2nd place!!! to

k0ld: meet you, keyboard, it’s coffee
k0ld: coffee, meet me, this is the keyboard

Primary :
You remind me of a joke.

Primary :
Boy, what is your name?
–...
Are you a brake?
and Vasa!
How to get to the metro?
I am not a brake.

The Sea:
Which?

and Tarrasque:
Did you get from the customer "project"? Or they have already broken the phone for half an hour, they say that "even 3 hours ago sent".
The Red Tank:
"They are unconscious" They sent it 15 minutes ago, after I called them back. "link to the file"
and Tarrasque:
Fuck, what kind of shit is this?! to
The Red Tank:
This is 47 sheets of handwritten caratules, scanned in the best quality and swung into five-megabyte images each. All this mess would easily get into a word file of five pages of kilobytes as much as 10.
and Tarrasque:
by GM. And the second archive?
The Red Tank:
O O O O O! This is another 18 sheets with a small collar called "drawings and schemes". Also from the hand. Very pleased with topcards, road links and crossings of communications. My 4-year-old daughter is better at painting.

Banner "Victoria, 30 years on the dating site". In the place of men I would think.)

Father told me:
- In our army, the commander of the company was a young lieutenant, interested in U-Shu and similar combat. We spent a week teaching these exercises. It looked roughly like this:
Hands straight in front of you, fingers compressed. Turn your right leg to the right and leave on the width of the shoulder. Leave it wider! Let go wider, I said!! No, it won’t work...
Let go, let go, I said!! to
When the whole company was already sitting on the sword, it came to him:
Fuck the exercise, not the legs.

Corvax: Well, it seems that Omerica will be the first country to ban sex because of impotence.