I cook, my daughter (8 years old) helps and parallelly tells a lot about the upbringing of cats.
How do you know so much?
HZ
and???“Sasha, how is it decoded?”? to
- Mom, this is a broadcast like this on TV is going:"I want to know" is called, abbreviated HZ...

From WEB :
Dear Father Christmas! Last New Year I asked you for a guy, so take back this goat and give a better mandarine!! to

I have a Baptist. and shurika. Small yet. He taught him to measure the weight of people and translate them into cement bags. Now the usual "deyeyeeedushka" has been replaced by "hello, two bags of cement"...))))

xxxxxxxxxxx:
We were sent with two colleagues to the U.S. on a business trip, instead of two fined debtors (who usually went on a business trip). Arriving in New York. They did not meet us (although they should). While one colleague and I were looking for a way to get to the right place, another colleague confidently led us. We didn’t want to go after him at first, but we thought three were better than two, so we went after him. After a couple of hours of moving, we found ourselves in the office of our American counter-agent, to their (and our) great surprise. Yankees ask our companion (I do not guarantee the accuracy, but the meaning is this):
How did you find us? Have you been here before?
A colleague says:
- No, I've played GTA IV!
While the attendees fell in the BSoD, we quietly went to the sorting room, washed our hands, bought food.
No, that’s why a colleague showed the top map of the city and the routes of public transport, but agree, what was the initial effect!

In our presidium of the Academy of Sciences of Ukraine directly on the entrance door weighs the announcement: "Dear graduate students! We warn that the submission of the dissertation work for the day before the defense is not allowed!" At the same time, someone's curved signature looks very nice below: "Olo!.."

Sochi 2014 Olympics, the 2018 World Football Championship... In this simple way, the West decided to ruin Russia.

He is:
Little girl, I thought seriously and you have to promise me one thing.

She is:
You are scared)

He is:
In general, if someday, don't give god, I fall into an aircraft disaster, and you will be called and told that I disappeared, you must promise me that in the next 5-6 years you will not find a friend, you will not have a family and especially children. Because I can get to a deserted island, live there for a few years, then build a fruit and swim away. Then somewhere in the open sea a ship will find me, rescue me and call you. And when we meet, I will be very upset to find out that you already have another... so promise me.

She is:
Have you looked at the goose?

He is:
It is the end ?

For me it is always a mystery how a plane flies.
Make a man love you and how this opens up
>Devil Vietnamese star

The aircraft flies because it has a special shape of wings, thanks to which the flow of counter air pushes it up. In order for a man to love you, you need to know him well and constantly cause his emotions. The star can be opened by pressing the fingers on the opposite sides.

<TechGuard> The reset button is a cunning. Finger fucking you will hit, but accidentally touch the knee - once spit!

A friend's mother went on holiday, she glued stickers everywhere in the apartment "Poppy flowers" I didn't immediately understand...

I was on the train today, almost empty. With me in the car was another Tajik, who for three stops listened to Tajik music on his phone, so that the whole tram was heard. There was also a man in the car, judging in all a little drunk, he looked long and stubbornly at the Tajik, then at the next stop the man could not stand, approached the Tajik, picked up his phone and threw him out on the street. Tajik jumped up with an offended and angry face, screamed something at the man and ran out for the phone. The doors closed and the tram went, and a man with a happy face sat down to the place of a Tajik and drove with a happy face to the end))

From Contact
Family Status:Everything is Difficult with Mathematical Analysis)

Silent: Yesterday, I was almost crazy at first, and then I was almost laughing.
Silent: We stand in company next to my paddock, drink a beer. Time is approaching half the second.
Silent: Suddenly the entrance door flies away from a simple pinch, a man in a triko, a maike, a cap and a shuttle flies out, surrounds us with a crazy look
Silent: pulls out the wave (resinostrel, but I later understood it) and begins to weep "and yeah, eat "and from here, do not sleep! I shoot them all!!" (this is where I put the coward)
Silent: and with the scream "This is a warning" this dude
Silent: He pulls his hand up and sneezes into the entrance :D
Silent: and with a scream "aibl@tt" grabs his head, sits down and as quickly hides in the entrance, adding a mat.

I teach philosophy in the universe. In December, I decided – in order not to waste time on the exam in January, I will give a check and evaluate the results. Everyone wrote. and delivered. The same day, a friend called me and went for a beer. We sat down and drank, gathered for a walk... the trouble crashed, apparently, a beer with purgen was. In the face of his companion, he understood the same. They broke into the sorter, ran through the cabins. I didn’t look at the paper. It was not (naturally)
I mentioned the controls.
Friend of the cabin - Share the maculature!
He pushed a few controls under the fence. I hear the door knock and someone quickly closed in the cabin on the left. Apparently, the papers were not there, but when we heard the man from there also asked for a share and was surprised to get the creations of students))))
In short, the whole group had to put "excellent". A special thanks to the girls with a very large handwriting who detailed their answers))))
I am really ashamed (

And did you know that in the original of many favorite cartoon about the Burunduk "Chip and Dale rush to help" their beautiful companion is not called Gaika, as we are used to think, focusing on Russian duplication. Her name is Gadget. Apparently the fact is that when the cartoon was duplicated in Russian, – and it was in 1991, and the word “gadget” has not yet come to life in Russia, and this foreign foreign word decided to replace a familiar and understandable “key”, since her surname sounds like Hackwrench – a “hacker” key.

About the Sphinx:

My friend has a cat of the same breed. His wife called Barsiq, and he called “the scrotum.”

Where can you sit in order not to get into the cat's wool?
In the corner.

I want to go back to my 12 year old.
Oh shit, put in the puzzle!

In the house of grandmother (B) with grandfather (D).
B: He can’t even cook the cabbage himself!
B: I’d better take you.
B: Behold, he says he will sweat me!
D: Not for you! Better than you!

The child died. A philosophical man:
I can’t do without blueberries, believe me.
Are you talking like a blue man?