Collaboration with advertising agencies:

"I just prefer to work through intermediaries))) They take a percentage for translation from native to Russian)))... I don’t want to know what epithetics the customer has on me. And before him, I dare to notice, my mat doesn’t get... As a result, pulling out the money to the mediator, we get a constructive conversation of two respected people)))"

You know Yuri.
You can leave a girl.
A wife can
The guy there
children
Here is the Jura.
It is impossible to throw a fox away.

I get a letter, and I’m very concerned about its content (“ORCHIDES haven’t yet bloomed”). But I don’t care at all that it’s written in Chinese, the envelope is made of crystal, the postman is a huge frog, I have six fingers on each hand, and I live in a house that runs around Saturn with fun music.
That’s all I need to know about my dreams.
Psychologists say that dreams will become normal once external problems disappear. Sometimes they really leave for a while. Do the dreams change? Oh yes! Now the letter is written in Japanese, the envelope is made of clay, the postman is a giraffe, I have four fingers on my hands, and I live in a cave on the moon. The content of the letter has also changed. Now it says that the orchids have bloomed.

ElDog: "after us even a flood" in political language is called "the short horizon of planning"

In fact, conception can happen not directly with an unprotected act, but within a month after it.

Man, I have very, very bad news for you!

I don’t understand Russian localizers. Maybe they have some kind of karma? Well, this is a masterpiece, when MiFit gladly tells you in pure English that you slept BETTER than 6% of the program users. But the Russified phrase hecks you with the TABLE FACE that you slept worse than 94% of users!

Is it true that modern cameras can shoot videos?
YYY: Brother, what, have you just turned away? Congratulations, the USSR has collapsed.

I often worked with my wife at weddings. She was first an assistant, then joined and became a second photographer. One day we were working for a walk while my husband was photographing the guests, I shot a couple and let them and myself rest. I stand, chew sandwiches, a guest comes to me. Judging by the appearance, "Baba berry again and it doesn't matter that 45", although it is very thin.



Hi, and you are nothing. Can we go to the club after the banquet?

I am: Hi I am a little married.

D: Is it a problem? She will know nothing. You say you were delayed at the wedding. I will give money.

I: First, I don’t sell my body for money, second, five minutes ago you posed to my wife.

Q: Is that girl with the camera your wife? Well, she’s still a Sicilian, believe that this night will be a very useful experience for you.

I: No, thank you

D: Oh the fool...



Afterwards, she walked to the operator and the host, but eventually left with the cook.

Once drawing a card in one bank, the code word entered "parallelepid". In vain, it was necessary to have a "square", because no more operators can pull. It took some time to learn the information about early closure, to unsubscribe from calls, etc. Every call to the operator (O) is just a torment. One of them:

I: Allo, I am Ivan Ivanovich, 1. 01. the 01. the I want to know about [...]

A: It is well. Please indicate the code word.

I: Paralleled

Sorry, the code word is not correct. Try to remember another.

I am: Paral-le-Piped

A: (Self dictated by myself) Paralypiped not suitable

I am Lee.

A: Paralympic

I: Le Le

A: It did not fit. One of L?

I : three!

A: It did not fit. At the end of the word what...

Please look at Yandex.

(Hard breathing for 20 seconds)

A: It is right. ...

negative feedback on the delivery of one online store.
comments to the review: "o, they have long been like this, and before NG they have some pollution in general.My friend was delivered unpacked and even slightly assembled designer for the child! The curier in the electric car was bored, see"

The Russian winter was replaced by the Petersburg winter. Snow falls from the roofs... Not because there is a lot of snow and no one cleans it, but because it is washed off by rain.

The girls miss this because I think they just haven’t studied lion behavior outside of children’s American cartoons, where these horrifying cats are kind, intelligent, and also speak American; and they’re supportive of democracy, probably, too.

In all other things, the Disney lions behave quite normally ("uncle" killed the head of the praide and tried to beat the lion) and they mostly support the monarchy.))) And even the fact that lions hunt, and the lion decorates the terrain there is displayed.

The lion wants to be a man. Harem gentle beauties, they hunt and feed, and he only finds out with other males the relationship and beautiful all) Women prefer in the penguin family: the fish also the wife can carry, but he at least children responsible and frozen dolls do not confuse :)

A question to the leading moderators of the once good and now wretched website:
Why in the rubric (section) "NEW" you post the same NEVERY (Old!) many times at a time interval of several days. The Message?

– Lego "Star of Death" is worth 40 pieces!!! to
I sold the car for so much. Although Cherry Amulet is also, in a sense, the star of death.

I go to the supermarket, and there before the entrance a guy people calls. Degustation of honey. I suggest everyone to try. He also runs to me with a spoon. Dialogue between I and Z (Chuck)

H - Try it, it is the best honey in the country, the most natural.

I am not, thank you.

If you like it, you can buy it with a 50% discount.

I - Sorry, and you have a syringe with adrenaline or epinephrine attached to honey?

H – and why?

I am allergic to anything related to bees. So I will not be able to taste your honey without dying after that.

Q - here's what you said, adrenaline and anything else, will they help you?

Yes, it will help...

And here the guy gives a genius:

H - so there is a pharmacy here, I am going to buy, and then you can try it, and then buy yourself a bowl of honey.

Handicapped...

The wife washes small (2,2 years old), got to clean the ears, I hear the voice of the wife from the bath, "Let's remove the gray from the ears," judging the whole child against forging in his ears and resisting, which the wife irritably gives "Why do you need sulfur?" The first thought in my head "What would I buy black dragons"

Cindpoom ba ba ba ba ba pazvvaeetcya, kogda pebeenok in ceмьe Odin.

A little more difficult year will change into a difficult one.

There was a man Petrovich. The man was a slugsman and lived accordingly - from advance to salary and upstream. From salary to advance, too, although it was more difficult psychologically, but from salary to salary would be quite boring.

Mr. Petrovich did not strive for professional growth, due to extreme myopia, although thanks to her and the demand for him was miserable. He and his teacher, when he was still a student, greeted only after he smelled, and he could not ruin his sight even more by self-education and extra-class reading because he did not see the letters.

But there were visible advantages. Invisible to him Soviet television he only listened, and therefore the hypertrophic eggs of ballet dancers from the blue screen did not blur Petrovich, and as his eye-catching colleagues in the hot workshop did not irritate.

Two thick-walled lenses, like from a broken binoculars, attached to the bacon, together with heart-sick comrades helped him somehow to cope with simple duties at work and occasionally write up in the payroll.

After the end of the next loan day and receiving an advance, the labor cell, together with Petrovich, traditionally pumped three corporations on five, and spread across the houses.
The path to Petrovich's birth nest was through the open school stadium. The usual stadium is a football gate, grass to the knee, not big but very cozy.
As it should be, it drowned.

The summers of Petrovich were thicker than the rest, but when he reached the football penalty he distinguished several sitting figures in the doorstep. Petrovich was not interested in football as well as ballet and wanted to pass by, but he was shouted:
Oh man!
In any case, Petrovich added the move.
One of the figures stood up and moved across. Healthy footballer, Petrovich noted, if he is also an attacker, continued to mark Petrovich, then - fucking escape.
Buy a shirt, man. He crossed the road healthy.
On the other side, with the goods in advance, the second approached.

Taking a night market, Petrovich thought again, but had no time to refuse the obsessive offer.
The stake flew from the right corner, clicking on the switch on the back of Petrovich's head.

Due to double anesthesia, the end of the current day Petrovich remembered slowly, and in the subsequent weekends in clear consciousness did not want to come. In a couple with a neighbor, they did not rush to heal the victim's blue face, tasting alcohol compresses and passing the advance.

Everything would have ended, if it hadn’t been a miracle. In the early morning of Monday, he could not believe his eyes. Petrovich looked frightened, slowly looked at his palms, twisted his fingers in front of his eyes – so is it. He saw everything, even the remains of oil under his nails.

His frightened wife stumbled onto the sounds of his mother’s interdomets from the kitchen, and when she saw Petrovich’s glowing joyful blue face, she was even more frightened.
I see! It was Petrovich.
Fuck, the woman thought, not otherwise white. Why should a man be so happy on Monday?
Petrovich has seen.

The story of his miraculous healing quickly became a factory sensation, and caused a lot of outrage from other visually impaired citizens. And what, apologize, forgive again for the sake of all the holy, fucking, all these ophthalmologists with ophthalmologists build out of themselves, reasonably reasoned they. To put two loops to the head and a fool can, and you can try to get rid of the sickness with a stick and even in the dark. This is what devil's skill is needed to have so filigranally twisted dioptria? Hujan - and from minus eighteen accurat to one, even in the long-sightedness did not pass and again, the eyes did not leave. And given the size of the tearful advance, read it for nothing. In one word, Petrovich.

What happened there in the previously near-sighted tower is unknown. The men, of course, suggested that the eyes from the blow just stood up and even guessed where the eyes were before. And Petrovich only smiled, looking at the sides fiercely.

The effect was persistent. A couple of years later, Petrovich really complained to the men that the visual acuity is dim, so they quickly offered him to remind him of the recipe. Petrovich refused, and it was time to retire.