bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №137321
 27.12.2016
The fact that sex did not meet expectations doesn’t make what she offered rape, no matter how crazy it was.
– is
You just keep in mind that the next time you hint on a girl for sex, she can get the dildo out of her bag and put you in the pop without lubrication.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №137320
 27.12.2016
Parents of students of Moscow school No. 2065 achieved the cancellation in the fifth classes of the course "Sources", in which they found the imposition of religious ideology. According to the mother of one of the students, Inna Gerasimova, the subject was replaced with "Secular ethics". The parents approved the textbook.

And you continue to say that nothing can be done and writing is useless.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №137319
 27.12.2016
From the Inner Space:
"and I am a saidu cambriolet who sings"

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №137318
 27.12.2016
XXX: I’m going to put out a table of bridges here from boredom.
The second unmarried Tom.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №137317
 27.12.2016
The “smart” KFC restaurant in China personally guesses visitors’ preferences. andquot;
>> by the number of beards? ))

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №137316
 27.12.2016
Here you sit, you know the truth. She is one who wants to be silent.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №137315
 27.12.2016
Pfff the salad!! And we didn’t even introduce them, all ten school years had to do the stuff looking at passing by, or sitting next to the same-sex excretors. Well, if there was a wall between the thrones or someone agreed to stand up on the shuher! For the rest of the life, the reflex is a big thing at home.
– is
I confirm. In 11 years of imprisonment, I only joke once – at the graduation exam.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №137314
 27.12.2016
That is people! What is the relationship between the Timor goat and the Amur tiger? I am worried...

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №137313
 27.12.2016
xxx: And today we will mark the feat of Lena, who accidentally went to the court for another trial, but was not confused and wrote an interesting report from him.
YYY: In fact, there was a door on the magnetic lock, and when it stopped, I just had no choice.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №137312
 27.12.2016
Remember, please, and which press, in addition to Speed-Info, in the same 90s and early 2000s was different with increased jaundice? In my opinion, it, crawling in agony, breaks down in a long way: on clothes-protecting against radiation and receiving SPF by air droplets is noticeable.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №137311
 27.12.2016
Schools - Sorties
When I was studying in the old school, we had iron plates in our sorting with glasses with rifle underpants on the sides.
When moving to a new school, the chemistry teacher decided to get rid of the old boxes with petroleum, which stored metal sodium and potassium. Pulled together with the metals in the sorting.
Vesuvius nervously smoked in the side.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №137310
 27.12.2016
I don’t know how you do, but when I was in school, children were afraid of parental gatherings, and now their parents are afraid of them! A short story from the 90s:



He came to the meeting with his daughter in the first class, with a body, in a shell, unshaken. And the man I am dense, in places very even round, in those years even a chain of gold, with a thick finger, was worn for release. The parties in the first class were still with a breakdown. He sat down and squeezed under the bubble. The meeting is going, what is being discussed. In the end, they went to the hooligans, and they say Natasha pins the boys with the foot in the head. I listened and quietly. My daughter’s name is Natasha. Here the mom jumped up and shouted, "Let's punish the parents of the children of the hooligan, and turns to the class, get up the parents" I jumped up as a roasted, and the party so and remained hanging on the belt, like a pack of the ballerina. Aunt stumbled and slipped into her party. And for a moment, she is a cool leader says: "Dmitry Nikolaevich, sit down, this is my Natasha pins, and yours only holds them" These were the meetings in 95 :)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №137309
 27.12.2016
Not accepting criticism of science is the same as not accepting criticism of religion is likewise fanatical.
YYY: You were concerned about science, let me give you all the butterfly abyss, as I do. Smari karoch - to criticize science is like to scratch into a pond of shit, because science is arranged in a fairly obvious way - some shit puts out a hypothesis that explains why the shit thrown on the fan is scattered by a wind, and not in one point, other guys start this hypothesis fucking fucking and humiliating in every way, oh, that is, to criticize when you get to criticize the words of the formula - the hypothesis goes nahuy or to the finishing, but usually nahuy.
But when it fails, it is necessary to build a shit-leader for oholyards of money, so as to propel the shit particles to the speed of light, in order to get the author and say that he is what, but sometimes this is not possible and such authors are eventually awarded a Nobel Prize.
Science is a criticism of everything in a row, it does not work otherwise, all the existing theories are still critically criticized, although he quite explain a large number of phenomena.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №137308
 27.12.2016
I’ve got my pocket in my pocket today.
X in the jacket pocket
X: and there was a pack of cigarettes filled, even almost empty, and half a plate of septefril for 4.80
X: And this fool grabbed the pills and ran out of the trolleybus
X: Considering that he paid 2.50 for the trip, and the tablets were exactly half in the plate, he fucked 10 copies in the end.
X: generally a foolish pocketman, not to be the king of the criminal world

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №137307
 27.12.2016
There is always money for someone who does not need to cut grass in the summer, and there is never money for someone who needs to clean snow in the winter.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №137306
 27.12.2016
Today, many copies have been broken about the fact that teaching in school leads to the abandonment of children, and nothing of them will work out in the future. And I do not think so, and I will tell you the most interesting example from life, which fully shows the faithfulness of the sentence of the biblical postulate. Ecclesiastes, chapter 9, verse 11. “And I turned, and saw under the sun that not the proficient gets a successful run, not the brave a victory, not the wise a bread, and not the wise a wealth, and not the skilled a disposition, but a time and an opportunity for all of them.”
I graduated from school in the late 1970s, in the province. In our class was a boy Sasha. He was not engaged in sports (never), was not registered in the police, and was no, mouse grey. He was a unique student, and his uniqueness was that he was absolutely stupid. That is absolutely!
He fell into a stupor if he was asked to solve the simplest example – X+10=20, made a few mistakes in two words – a mercury ribbon, for example. In all disciplines, the absolute zero. Why did he not leave for the second year, the story is silent about it. And to complete his portrait completely, I will give three answers to his lessons: 1. English, short explanation – What I eat for breakfast. Sasha wrote: J kushay kolbasu. The teacher was almost stunned by the homeric laughter, and most likely, she wrote up then. 2 ) The lesson of history is the struggle against colonialism. Sasha's answer: "There were crowds of people walking in the streets with banners on which it was written - let the Indians be freed." The historian, a tough, unsmiling lady, roasted like a horse, grabbing the air with her mouth open, like a fish on the shore. 3 ) of geography. The question is who opened the way to India. Sasha replied, “They sailed, they sailed, and they sailed. The brothers were Vasca, da Gama. The teacher’s reaction is the same as in the previous examples.
Why am I all this? And to the fact that our Sasha now, or more precisely, since the middle of the 90s, lives in Moscow, rides to his office in the steepest car, accompanied by the guard on two cars. I’ve seen it several times on the screen of the central channels. He lives in two countries - the Russian Federation and Spain, where he has a small home, a company with three hundred jobs. How is it, you ask? It is very banal – time and cases. All Sasha could do after graduating from school was squeeze and strangle. After serving in the army, he remained in Moscow, settled on a wooden plumbing plant as a carpenter, where in good faith and honesty, for more than 10 years, he stole, did not steal, did not bore, and would still bore tombs and gates, but turned to chance, at the same time. One day, security guards came to the plant, searched, turned everything around, and found - the owner in the car had a trunk. Sasha was understood. And here, in the presence of the understood and the entire working brigade, Sasha said that it was he who laid the trunk, which he found on the street, and so that it would not be stolen in the dressing room, and not used for bad purposes, until the end of the shift decided to hide it where no one would look for it, and after work he was going to hand it over to the police. As a result - the court, two years conditionally (the owner paid well, and Sasha was not closed). A month later, Sasha became a brigadier, an assistant in all affairs, he trusted everything - receiving materials and paying for them, issuing finished products with receipt of money, keys from the owner's apartment, where he brought products from the market, etc. He had unconditional trust in everything. Two years passed. Apartment, car, good salary, confidence, stability – the first Sashina dividends. And in the early 2000s we played a wedding, with the daughter of the hostess. A normal girl, modest to “I can’t”, behind the shoulders of an economic university. Father by age went to rest, nurses grandchildren - their four, and ALL the boys. The daughter and son-in-law did an economic miracle, at least 100 times increased the father's capital.
They are friendly and apparently happy.
How do I know the details? We met him in 2015 in the Spanish town of Salou, near Tarragona. And he cried out to me, and I could not understand for a long time how it came together—Sasha and Spain. He took me and my family out of the hotel and I lived as a Sheikh for six days. When Sasha talked about his life path, I asked about the most incomprehensible, unthinkable deed, why he said it was his trunk. Here is his answer: "To live nowhere, work nowhere to find, the master will be planted and then in a loop. It’s better to go to jail if they feed.”
P.S In Spanish and English, Sasha speaks as a doctor in Latin.
And about his school stupidity. He grew up without a father, brother and sister in the family.
He is the third child. And as he said, "The teachers were stunned, none of them ever showed participation, did not help to understand the subject. But in any discipline, if you don’t understand something, the following material also becomes incomprehensible. So I went into stupidity. And you, classmates, the fools were, the others.”
So it happens.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №137305
 27.12.2016
- And bespoke us, Father, the apartment with holy water, so that all sinful things go away.
Where will you live yourself?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №137304
 27.12.2016
"In the forest a tree tree was born" does not go on a funeral march, but it fits perfectly on the melody "Rise, the country is huge";

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №137303
 27.12.2016
Layk: I was a corporate on Friday, I was one of the last to leave, helping a slightly overwhelmed colleague to sit in a taxi (I have to say, she had a shirt she needed). So, the bad, very bad idea was on Monday morning to her (completely without a back-thinking) to say "Daaa, I appreciated your nork on Friday")))))

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №137302
 27.12.2016
XHH: In general, vendetta is an irrational thing. Two clans cut each other down, a bunch of victims, including those who are not involved. You can do everything organized - you build a large stadium, challenge, the town is stocked with flags, vuvuzeles and popcorn. Men of childbirth come out with knives and the whisper of the judge went ruby. Then count the number of bodies and the total number of points.

In Italy, such a thing existed 3 thousand years ago. You have not invented anything new.)

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