bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №38701
 11.11.2010
The biggest consumers of oxygen are bosses.
When they are not there, breathing is easier.

[ + 12 - ] Comment quote №38700
 11.11.2010
Talents and Advocates
I’m already a pretty old boy, but I’ll never miss the moment of cheating and playing someone out. I think there’s nothing wrong with it – it’s better to stick. If, of course, innocent, the main thing is that the “victim” will then forgive you and laugh with you.
Here is one of my innocent joke born an exprom: Airport
Domodedovo in the early morning. My friend Dima and I rushed to pack our suitcases.
Look, she is standing. A very, very, very popular actress in our country, although quite young. (I don't want to give her name, or I'll immediately turn from a joke to a whistleblower and a drawer of other people's clothes... she may be offended by me. I would be offended in her place.
Everyone knows it, except the old believers living in the taiji who do not know that the general secretary is no longer Khrushchev.
She stands, nervous, next to the guard - a driver with a suitcase and a gentle administrator in fear.
Everyone who passes through it will know, but make emphasized indifferent faces under the name
“Well, you’ll think, we’ve seen... if it were Angelina Jolie... That’s all right.”
I’ve never seen her live before, she’s me.
We run straight to her. I make the big eyes and blade of happiness:
Is it you!! You are much more beautiful in life than you are on screen. We are s
Dime your most loyal fans, many times reviewed all yours
The films! Is it true, Dim?
The smoke:
and yes.
I: Well you see it?
She is obviously not up to us, enthusiastic idiots, but she is patient. The cost of popularity.
I continue my fancy tirade:
- Who tell me, because no one will believe that Dima and I are like that.
The actress is as simple as a man with a man talked about, and that...
She: In short, I have no time, you have an autograph?
I: I can do it!! We didn’t even dream about it...
I stumbled, started knocking on my pockets, found a simple pencil,
I pulled out the passport, I ask: Tell me, can I go straight into the passport?
She: Well, let’s go, just faster!
Dima turned with a powerful back, so that there was something to write on, I, anxiously, gave a pencil and on Dima's back opened the passport on the first page, where the photo.
She signed... and froze, like a doll, with which the children played and dropped. In this posture, not shuffled with a pencil, she stood for twenty seconds. His companions were no longer in a joke. It seemed like she was given a paralyzing injection... In a word, her computer hanged deadly.
It was funny...
She even forgave me later when I, sitting with her in the plane, wiped everything up to the last point. She laughed with us for a long time and turned out to be a company girl.

And the trick is that she flew to India as a program heroine, Dima flew there as an operator, and I as a director.
The passport in which she was signed was her own.
I had to meet everyone already at the airport and give passports with visas.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №38699
 11.11.2010
The most terrifying phrase of school childhood: "Yes, and now we clean up textbooks and get the double leaflets..."

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №38698
 11.11.2010
<Dimachos> like I heard here it is forbidden to spread porn with scenes of violence (((
<Kapodastr> Dimachos: How sad, I will pay now (
<Dimachos> and with minors (( dragon rules!
<Kapodastr> It is terrible! No violence and minors. So that’s why we can’t post a video from the graduation?? to

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №38697
 11.11.2010
In comparison to her ass, his whisper is just naked!

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №38696
 11.11.2010
The Mushroom...
LOL: What is it?
I just looked at the pictures of your sister's sea.
LOL: And what is there? Compromised? )
Yes no, nothing special! I just sit behind her back in the coffee shop! The world is tight...

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №38695
 11.11.2010
XXX: And my BSOD keyboard is broken.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? to
xxx: I inspired three hundred lines of code, naturally not being preserved, and there is a bat, BSOD :)

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №38694
 11.11.2010
X: How not to have fun now
X: Not to be saddened by different troubles
X: I have to settle.
X: Pidoras with Music Center Bled
X: And to the electronics

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №38693
 11.11.2010
For me, the indicator of good knowledge of English is the ability to read quickly and understand what Bart Simpson writes on the board during the introductory screenshot.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №38692
 11.11.2010
You look there, be careful. He is very evil, not because he has already thought of any evil...
That is crime :)
yyy: I think I even guessed what he was thinking =8

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №38691
 11.11.2010
Drone: The guy, the guy! Thank you very much, you helped me! I finally got up, for a long time! Really, I just tried not to pick him up, and beer, traditionally, and all sorts of drugs, and he didn’t stand, well, in any! He only needed to dry out, as he immediately fell, became so miserable that at least pull out with the root! Fuck, really, half a bottle of expensive gel on him took, and he was all in any... I was already a girl helped, suffered as soon as I did not try to put it normally, so that it stood for a long time. But the way you suggested is just cool, thank you, guy, huge!
My friend, if I didn’t know you were about Iroquois...
The drone ;)

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №38690
 11.11.2010
In Kazan there is a route "Friendship-Zaggs-Solnysko"

[ + 111 - ] Comment quote №38689
 11.11.2010
A rock hangs over the computer. I changed the disk and the processor burned. Changed the processor and motherboard - screenshots. The screen rejected the keyboard. I found and put another keyboard - the mouse fell and broke.
I changed everything!!! to
A chair on wheels collapsed.

[ + 82 - ] Comment quote №38688
 11.11.2010
Olive
If you knew how I wore it, you would cry.
Gosya
I am so deeply swallowed that, in comparison to this, the Marian flame is a golf hole.
Olive
I am so shy as to shy away.
Gosya
)))))))))
Gosya
fucking
Gosya
You won

[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №38687
 11.11.2010
What do you know how to do fast?
I get tired quickly.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №38686
 11.11.2010
The gesture! Vladivostok, the company "fresh air"... they have a manager - the president.
Who are you working for?
I am the president of fresh air.

horror:)))) almost like the lord of the storm or the king of the mountain:)))

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №38685
 11.11.2010
In the news showed: the cruise ship is suffering disaster. After the fire, there is no electricity in the engine compartment, no sewerage, no hot power, etc.
The owners of the ship said that the passengers will receive compensation for a broken vacation and will be able to go on the exact same trip at the expense of the company.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №38684
 11.11.2010
Review of the film "How I Spent This Summer"
and Lelouche:
They say a second part is coming soon. It is called -
"How I taught Russian language" by :

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №38683
 11.11.2010
1: her cat got fucked! It’s like a shit factory.
You speak as if there is such a factory :)
1: The car

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №38682
 11.11.2010
XXX: The Palace of the Bank
xxx: sounds cool (vengeance bubble)

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