bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №146605
 20.11.2017
here here :
Well, or, at the bad end, the Seryoga Beast?

It made my day! I imagine a picture: Hippolyte enters, gives out: “The star is in shock!”" And goes to the bath.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №146604
 20.11.2017
There was a fire in our apartment, I lived with my aunt and drove every day to scratch the ashes. Once on the way back from the restoration work in the bus, a man of fairly decent appearance came to me, began to get acquainted with the standard scheme, but suddenly felt a complicated smell of fire and fell abruptly into religious ecstasy. He tried to sell my soul to me for some relatively small money, called a prince.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №146603
 20.11.2017
On the car is a label: “In the car a child, baby on board.” But, fortunately, the inscription is increasingly found: "In the car is an adult, and I also want to live."

I have two questions about this:
1 - why does the author make happy sticker about an adult in the car, before he thought that cars are driving empty?
2 - if the author is so angry with the sticker about the child, why he did not read it, why the duo are obliged to glue it (so that the team of doctors knew that there is a person who does not understand anything, can not get out and is inclined to hide under the seat at the time of fear).

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №146602
 20.11.2017
I am a Daltonist, the son of Ambidexter. Believe me, it is not so clear!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №146601
 19.11.2017
The Necrophils

>>> And let’s get the Poklonskaya who will be accused of harassment. To the Master there, to the actors, to the imperial remains or elsewhere.

He touched the Emperor’s bust, and he finished. It calmed, that is...

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №146600
 19.11.2017
by Holmgang

>> I am a Daltonist, the son of Ambidexter.

I am Olaf, son of Ragnar the Leather Spy. I invite you to a fight!
I am Daltonicus, son of Ambidextra. Get away from me, big hairy colorless spot...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №146599
 19.11.2017
I thought here. Truth is a little late. I just like cats and Ippolite more.
Some people believe that cartoons are for children. But why? Where is the line between Gravity Falls and John Wick's Dilogic?
By introducing a series of abstractions, we rely on a fundamental difference: graphony, namely, realism and detail of the picture.
Why are they so necessary for adults, but not for children? There is an answer to this question: imagination. It was atrophized in the subjects and they could no longer watch anything but movies about brother and daughter.
The question remains – if for the subject the imagination remains in the past, why does he deny the right of others to it? And when he stops stopping, will sex also be a shameful occupation for juvenile losers?
And here I seem to have understood something.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №146598
 19.11.2017
A relative works at a post office in a small village. Since there are no banks, they give out, and pension, and payments on loans are accepted. One grandmother came for 3-4 days of retirement, and there was no money left in the box, they were supposed to start, wait. Here comes another grandmother to pay the loan. The first said to the second, “How good that you have come, you will give me some money, and Vasek will pay me it.” No, do not dare to give my money to her, today is my last day, tomorrow the penny will run, I have to pay today. They both try to explain that she is not losing anything, her payment will go where it is necessary. No to any. They tried to carry out the grandmother, she began to threaten the police, the prosecutor's office and someone else there. So she was sitting at the post office until the second grandmother went home.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №146597
 19.11.2017
Colorius: I went to the store. There is no palm oil for sale. I bought butter. Probably though.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №146596
 19.11.2017
xxx: the shooting instructor turned out to be my student, to whom I put a bunch of twins in school

YYY: Did he recognize you?

XXX I know. But I missed.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №146595
 19.11.2017
The Dawn of Civilization

> Moscow drillers were lucky. Now, at every bus stop, there is an advertisement for some other joke series - and there is such a girl with a very big look. Well, there is another inscription, psycho-something there. [.....................] you can’t hide it :P <

The paintings are painted terrible... Around each stop with a poster stands an unauthorized crowd of Moscow drowning and rage. The bus arrives, and successfully completed, fastened on the run pants, on weakened legs crash into the door. I hear the screams of the driver, wait, I have a couple of frictions left!The ladies walk slightly offended, but some look with interest, choosing promising males, while trying to copy the expression of the face from the poster.
Further by themselves.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №146594
 19.11.2017
Porn actor and director Ron Jeremy has been accused of sexual harassment.

This is called overtime, man.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №146593
 19.11.2017
Such "luckers" simply don't get brides at all and don't shake women's heads, knowing that they are not capable of a relationship in advance. Read "The Wise Sandstone" about successfully avoiding everything at all. And to build a relationship with someone, at the same time holding a figure in your pocket "he / she is just waiting, as if behind my back someone to fuck, I know" - it is not even paranoia, it is a moral garden-maso, in which the goal is to torture yourself and your partner as unbearable as possible.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №146592
 19.11.2017
The fact is that the films

They were created as an alternative to the game film almost exclusively to reduce the cost of production, as well as to expand the capabilities of the director, who becomes completely subject to any change of any element of the film. Hence all these absolutely impossible or frightening applications such in conventional cinema techniques, distortions of perspective and fairy design. The film is merely a classification of the production process. Movies and cartoons (good) for children are very easy to do, almost as easy as raising.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №146591
 19.11.2017
A credit card is also a certificate of divorce.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №146590
 19.11.2017
I went in the tram last night. In front of them is a family with a daughter-in-law. A woman in a hijab comes in and the little girl says, “Daddy, why is this ghost black?” Are there such?

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №146589
 19.11.2017
The bosom passes past the vase.
Where do people get money from? I collect something all day and only food is enough.
The owner of the VAZA passing by the Mercedes.
Where do people get money from? I’m all day at work, plus in the garden all summer. Enough to feed the family, recharge the car, silence about the vacation...
The owner of a Mercedes driving past a huge mansion, in the courtyard of Porsche, Ferrari, Mazerati.
Where do people get money from? I turned as I could, the third restaurant opened. The woman walks the second winter in the same coat.
A official, leaving a Porsche from a huge mansion, travels around a long traffic jams accompanied by GAI.
- I come up with such laws that everyone has to walk, and they all ride in cars. Where do people get money?? to

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №146588
 19.11.2017
Women have preserved more of the primitive magical culture in the modern world. This also relates to the excitement of cars. Mother, for example, is a car driver – if she doesn’t notice a hole or hole/curve edge and the car shakes, she apologizes to the fork. He rides and apologizes. My brother offered us a million times to drop down and change my mother’s car for a new one, but she was categorically against – she had this car like a pet. And you say, because of the voice novator someone was upset! Yes, the speaking machine in the mind of the lady, probably, was generally an equal companion of the motorist, and the machine was so brutally betrayed))) The next time answer not "was thrown out, because the old", and "was sent to rest, because it worked out already"))))

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №146587
 19.11.2017
and ah. This is how you look at the children's "Wallys" (Cubric's paschals, apparently, also addressed to babies without cultural experience) and the adults' "Transformers" Bay - it immediately becomes clear what age audience is actually held for idiots.
But if the brain has not dried up and has not stopped in development, then nothing prevents it from continuing to look at what stimulates further development, rather than degradation. A "great" degradants do not need much of entertainment cinema - from their point of view, the "adult" product makes kindergarten jokes below the belt.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №146586
 19.11.2017
Vongadke: It’s that they say in hell every day you have to put a blanket in the carpet. After you put off the couch.

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