She: I will give you!! to
Please do not misunderstand my first sentence.

One day my mother, a poor student, came to visit me for a weekend. Before leaving, she prepared me meat and I was all wondering why she was cooking it with ham - it just ruins the taste of meat. And then, after a couple of days, eating a ham with the smell of meat, I realized...

and Sasha:
Will you invite me to the wedding?and :)
The Ex:
As a bridegroom?
and Sasha:
You can’t do without threats. :)

Poison: I stand in front of the mirror, look at myself and say: "Applewold"
Mom looks at it all and says: "marry you need to be quick..."

He: "- How do ladies with very long nails, sorry, pop wipe out?
Hm... You’ve come close to understanding why glamorous girls need these little dogs.

And really, how? :D

She: “Sorry, do you wipe your nails?”? to

He: I do not have them. If I had very long nails, I’t ask. But you probably know more about these girls than I do =)

She: You know, they don’t bother... Believe me

What is the name of your dog? and ;-)

The cat washed.
Tagged: go
Tag: go yourself
I don’t have a cat.
These are your problems and let me deal with them.

2nd :
Do you fly on anything other than a plane?

1st :
Only once in a plane.

2nd :
And back on foot?? to

Stop drinking all the shit! Drink compotes and juices.
yyy: does Victor have some hashtag from some compot and juice producer?)))
xxx who is here
YYY: There is no one
XXX is the same.
yyyy : ((
zzz: Victor, sho you like not a native, arrange the sale of compotes in the building and have your hatchback
yyy: but don’t forget about the percentage per idea)
A small hatchback is better than no hatchback.
zzz: We will make you a flash site)
zzz: compot.no
yyy: compot.tak.yes
zzz: compot.taki.da
ZZZ: It looks great
yyy: okay, compot.tak.da.рф)

XXX is
Was the water hot?

Geda
Hot but brown.

<dema> Well what do you do at the new job, how much do you get?
<nat> I check crosswords and scanwords for reliability and puzzles for resolvability. They promise a little more than 30,000 a month.
<dema> Pl.. before that I thought the best job in the world was "Myth Destroyers".

I bought in the store, I go to the box office, the cashier (K.The young man breaks. There are 50p, 50p.
K is Fifty and fifty!
I – thank you!
K is Please please! The cashier was not confused. The portion))

It is easier to persuade a woman than to reject.

The road stories...
I would like to translate the saying: the more I know people, the more I like dogs. The story told by the owner of the Tavria about the horror experienced in the presence of wolves in the corn reminded us of a state of fear experienced not by animals at all.
In 1996 I started driving cars.
Vladivostok in all nearby and not very nearby regions. The topic was very interesting and relevant at the time, the people had not yet engaged in right-wing machines, and for the race guessed at least 1000-1500 BC. e. Two or three cars a month allowed you to feel if not Rockefeller, then it is safe to be sure.
Banditism on the roads of that time was perceived as a common phenomenon, and
200 AD for a ferry crossing through Amur the least evil.
From Usurisk, the Taeyeh Road as in the song - five hundred kilometers of taiga, where there are no housing or villages.
At one of the turns I notice in the mirror from behind a jeep, type Surfa, with lighting headlights, inevitably catching me in the taeyeh shell. It should be noted that the road does not allow to spread more than 110 km / h, taiga around and no soul. He becomes in the rear bumper and begins to flash the lights.
Maybe on the third transport such a signal is perceived as a requirement to give up the road, but there, believe me, no thoughts, except: stand, we will take the car and all the money, and you will go on the taiga on foot.
I pull out the last forces from the engine, although 2.5 turbo, but the road, I repeat, does not allow the maximum pressure. I slowly touched the pump behind the seat.
Finally, at one of the turns, a jeep bypasses me and specifically cuts to the side. There is no option to hit him in the side, I block the locks and lay a pump on my knees, a rubber charge, but a third cartridge with a cartridge.
From the jeep comes out a particular guy and not reaching a meter two to the car brakes - brother, take away the wool (painted, shit, I think) Hear, we will not steal you to kill, here is a pure problem, we will not knock out that happened brotherly.
Okay, once this is scheduled, I go out - what happened?
There the lamp burns on the instruments, x. z. that for the lamp, look.
The oil pressure lamp is burning. Is it burning for a long time?
- Yes, a hundred while you were chased (in the car two more lobsters)
Has any oil been poured out?
Driving in Usuri
For the oil?
- H. Z., butter and oil
Is the bank left?
Yes, sh...
I look at the bowl, mineral oil
Is the car fresh?(Provided by Surf)
Yesterday from the ship.
Do you add oil?
There was no level.
Where did you get the oil?
At the Tank
Was it in the engine?
- H. Z
I understand that the technical aspects of the issue the guys are not interested. from
In Japan, the car comes filled with semi-synthetics, and often synthetics. Mixing with mineral oil is not recommended at all.
- Get under the car, turn off the traffic jamming on the floor...
There are no keys (yes, indeed, the keys of them, they went out for theft,
Not by car)
The key is 17x19. We removed the block from the paddock - the oil is not poured out... In the paddock of thistle by consistency reminiscent of the sponge of chronic sinusitis...
- Turn the traffic jams, pour the sunshine into the throat and plants.
We washed the engine twice, melted the sludge, got two semi-synthetic canisters from the luggage, poured... The lamp went out, the sensor is not, but it does not stitch, it works precisely...
What should they?
- For the oil - on the... rub and let the rest know, so that they do not touch.
- Money is not, but it will not be touched, you will say that from Pasha (Vasi, Koli,
Sophia and so on...)
Okay, we are separated...
After 300 km, at the post...
Are you from Vasa? (Pasi, Koli and Siplo)
I am
A hundred rubles for oil.
Horror gradually disappears, giving way to common sense and banditism.
“The Nobility.”

A new part came in. So yes, then he went with the officers to the cigarette, and there he told a joke. Everyone laughs, but there is no flyer.
You hear, Lieutenant, everyone is funny – and you are not?
So I am not of your part, Comrade Colonel.

<Manual>: Ahh, where now is the time when programming courses in QBasic ran to neighbor compams and put "END" at 245th place in the line or "'"(REM) before cycle start=(((

<REND>: Ooo yes.. or when working with graphics "Screen 12" washed the program first..;-)

<Manual>: So that’s you, that’s you, Suga, I’ve been guessing a year!

Bulldog: probably won’t come
SkyGTR: where is the fifth?
Bulldog: not coming

he - "Leh, go to Sochi and +28"
I - "no bullshit, come back to Moscow, we have +32, you will get hot though"

Sergey Bulatov: I will come to Moscow for a day
Do you have a place to stop?
Sergey Bulatov: I will not stop
You are a drug addict! 😉

XXX: Let’s go, brave boy, on a bear with a rogatine.
YYYYY: Yes I am not hunting with a shovel, either.

I call the programmer: Maxim, do you want me to give you a delicious candy?
Maxim, harshly and with suspicion: Why?

Here I get upset and cry out – to make my ass slip.

Something I have not managed to make friendship lately.