A new girl has been hired as a designer. She brought a cactus to work, named Heralt. A month has passed, I ask - and why does Geralt not bloom? The girl, after thinking for a moment, says:
All is normal, witches are infertile.

Life in Russia is a quest. Yesterday announcement at the entrance door: Tomorrow in connection with the repair of the gas pipeline will be disconnected from 8:00 to 17:00. I go to the bathroom this morning at 10 a.m. No cold water! No hot water! I go to the kitchen and I have gas.

One of my friends has a hobby. He rides on test drives.

He tells us which cars he was riding over the weekend. Comparing them. With a smart look, the brains of sales managers are spinning on the phone. It ranges from Lada to Mercedes. The main thing is to allow the test drive to pass.

He is not going to buy a car at all, he just likes to ride, he likes how he is licked by managers in salons, he likes the imaginary sense of solidity and with a superstitious view on the street to say, "This car is shit, I was driving it."

I was lost once in my childhood. I remember this case. Mom was in the line, and I was looking at the shelf on the side. I turn my head and see my mom go out shopping. Everyone was wearing a coat in the winter. As I then noticed the woman had exactly the same coat as my mom and I saw her from the back I thought it was my mom and went to her. We go and I ask my mom, “Mom, where are we going?” Here a woman turns around and I am surprised to see that this is another aunt. With screams and screams, I ran back from her, and I couldn’t find the way back to the store anymore – I was about four years old. I remember only a huge street full of people and there is no mother anywhere. Phobos and Deimos. I scream to Mom and run down there. And then a police officer grabs me by the hand and says with a smile, “It’s your mom!“He points back. As my mother later told me, she only paid for the purchase, and I didn’t. He jumped out on the street and ran looking. And then she sees me down the street as I run and scream and I don’t hear her calls. A police officer stopped me. For a long time I could not calm down and no longer leave my mother.

Let us now move to our present. The Soviet Union is not long ago. I am 28 years old. My mother and I go home on the bus. I went out of work and my mother came to see my sister and now we go home. Autumn is late. All in jackets. I slept a little. Opening my eyes, I see at the stop village N-sk I see my mother in her red jacket going to the exits. I slowly wonder, so who of the relatives lives in N-sk? Like no one. Is my mom going out? Confused the stop? I get up from the seat and go to the exit and raise my head loudly, “Mom, where are you?” Here a woman turns around and I see that she’s wrong and she’s also wearing a jacket like her mom. I turn around and see my mother sitting on the front seat, I just didn’t see her from behind the back of the chair. He looks at me laughing and asks, “Well, what again?” It was so shameful and funny at the same time. Years later, he repeated his mistake. The rest of the way we remembered that childhood incident and laughed.

and simpler
The Exit

Stretch it stronger – and you can’t smooth it.
By the way, clothes also apply - if you choose to wear.

— — —
By the way, and women are concerned - if she is tightened, then both of them are pooher, and the underwear is not frozen under them ;-)

Well, a man just needs to eat and fuck off the ideal woman. And the ideal man consists of such contradictory hoodies that no Boston Dynamics can program.

To eat, to chew, so that she didn’t sit on her neck – earned a little less than him, children were, and healthy and fed, at home so that it was clean, the look of the goods, of course, must beined – the ass there pumped, the butt removed, the legs shaved, of course, silent so that all the time and with everything agreed, yes. And that’s more and nothing needs to be done – what’s that difficult?

Alcohol does not make you better.

As for tea, there is no point either.

Alcohol at least tries!

>> Polite addressed the store: "Hello, form of life!" For some reason they were offended, asked to clean up and threatened to call the police...

Clearly why - you forgot to add "friendly"! Preventive politeness has not been cancelled.

It happened to me a few years ago.

I celebrated my Doctor, but I was unable to gather all my friends in one day. One of them was invited another day. Before he went, he clarified whether he could take his new girlfriend with him. He is very shy and secretive. Since his previous girlfriend was with an add-on, we trolled him friendlyly on this topic.

In general, he took a promise from me not to annoy the new girl with uncomfortable and questions and not to joke about him in her presence.

The day X came, I covered a good table at home, sat well, he was worried at first, but then relaxed. We talked about nature, about the weather, asked the girl a number of questions on duty - where she works, what she is interested in. The event went well, generally.

Then a friend of VKontakte wrote to me, thank you for understanding, I was afraid that you would scare the girl, she is not used to your jokes, but you kept the word. And, he says, such a table covered a good one, I did not even expect, as if you just came, and you were so upset.

And I answered him, and you know why the table was covered? I will tell you in secret, you went to my doctor at all.

He was so upset that he forgot about it. I did not even congratulate.

Under the window they dig a hole, a cold water highway broke. In the process formed such a non-hill lake on a half-gaze. Reply of the neighbor:
A true fisherman will not be stopped by such a small thing as the absence of a reservoir.

Here is the survivor:

>>Another, "new" way to burn a student, a student al person living in the conditions of "grandmother - to catch"(c). He doesn’t understand why to smooth out the underwear.>>>

I have lived completely independently for a long time, I also don't understand why to smooth BEDRING if not for aesthetic sake? Infections, lice and so on? If you live in a peaceful time and you are available to normal modern powder, washing machines, in which you only wash yourself/neighbors-non-margins, then smoothing the bed for the purpose of disinfection is not necessary at all. You can get infected with pediculosis and so, if you cross with the carrier, it is very contagious. Warm clothes and warm clothes? Why Why? T-shirts and classical pants need to be smoothed, of course, on a quick T-shirt can be so that they do not look chewed at all. and all.

I go home by bus and at the next stop comes a woman in the years. Since I was sitting by the passage, I got up to pass her onto the next seat, but she was clearly of a different opinion and sat down on my seat, and placed a bag in the place next to the window.

2000 year, I am a security guard in a small office, my wife just got an accountant to work in another firm. In the evening, I complained that I first submitted my accounts to the tax office, and then understood that I paid, and how to make corrections in the accounting and what it will be from the tax office, too. The next day, in the middle of the day, I go to the office to the chief of staff and literally put the problem of unfortunate reporting on my blue eye. She says, say, Igoryan, it’s all simple: it’s there, it’s here, it’s... in short, give my wife my phone, let her call in the evening. I don't know what secret knowledge my Olya got then, but how much she worked there, with accounting, everything was perfect.
Yesterday, the wife (the head of a small office) tells me: I sit behind the reports, knock on the door, our young engineer will freeze, and apologize for the worry... and how to correct if the tax reporting was incorrectly submitted, or my wife has just begun to account. A thousand thousand thousand thousand! The spiral of time!
Galina Ivanovna, we remember you, a great human thanks for science!

The Hunger

I remember, in my childhood, my grandmother constantly smoothed underwear, stood at the board all day long, wandered still, how her legs hurt, and how householders do not appreciate her work. Then one day my mom said "Nahoo! There will be no more clothes in our house!" (without naughty, of course, but in the sense of close). The grandmother switched to the oak about the fact that every day you need to cook a lunch of three dishes and compot.
That was almost 40 years ago. Indeed nothing changes.

The way.

"xxx: Who knows how to bring back mirror settings to factory settings?
It used to show normal, and now there is some alchemy."

Let me spit you.

Yes, the idea is very old, but some local resident expressed it very colourfully:

There are people who, when they are treated politely, think they are licking their ass.

If you’re on "you" it’s a sign of respect. The big letter is your language between my buttocks.
^ ^ ^
It is gold. The main would.

Almost reminded of the classic.

In general, the rules of good tone recommend that you name a person as he presented himself, not as you like. But there are always lovers to prove to another, as they really call it, or to experience a surname-fatherhood, in order to show respect... Although what is easier and respectful - to take into account the direct request of the interlocutor.

> With respect
Not Shura, not Alexander Sergeevich and not Mr. / Comrade Ivanov.

Miss, how is your relationship?
“Well, you, Emmanuel Gedeonovich, it doesn’t matter!
So still how?
and Nathanovich.
So here is the target.

A man with a knife robbed a sex shop in the southeast of Moscow.

It is simple.

This is how to rob a knife store with a vibrator.

#bus_educational

Well, even if you read Turgenev, let’s be clear.

Tashmuta, Turgenev Asya Anna was named.