bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №144284
 28.08.2017
XXX is cake. I am now a suicide, a member editor and an incitator initiator.
xxx: We had today, meanwhile, PCD, which in translation into human language means "drive everything that is fought"
XXX: We are sitting like three, people who were appointed to drain the washing machines.
XXX: In order for the strike to go to the tenth, we were thrown chlorine wheels
xxx: We sit down, discussing where to spend chlorine, and where you can just walk through the water
xxx: I am all such a joke and add: "and for faithfulness a couple of wheels can be thrown"
XXX: And then it turns out that I was heard by the chief...
In short, we were first taken to the headquarters.
XXX: Writing Explanations
XXX: Then to the medical center for examination
XXX: And for a sweet two talks with the officer in the regiment
xxx: On the harm of chlorine and the punishment for member loss
First privately, then with the whole company.
Do not joke, children, in the army

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №144283
 28.08.2017
To protect the Motherland – you are handed a machine machine, machine machine machine, tank, missile, torpedo, submarine or any other deadly thing. But for personal protection you will not even be allowed a gun - it is too difficult to handle and very dangerous.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №144282
 28.08.2017
To stop this nonsense, it is necessary to introduce the rule - has this your science broken? Deportation into the cave with all the outflows. Humans are really fools – because they are fundamental science? Ifrens grow on trees.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №144281
 28.08.2017
Seven years ago, the cat was one of the three whales on which the quotation was based. Now some dumb man demands that the kittens fall to the zoological forum and do not hinder him here, apparently, to discuss the bulletins of their mothers, the suffering of the friends and the dressing of the friends. The damn century, he did it all!

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №144280
 28.08.2017
After viewing the retrospective of Soviet films, the impression was created that in the end (in our time) the victory was won by negative characters - speculators, bribery, adapters, thieves and perverse.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №144279
 28.08.2017
YYYY
Uncle, where did he disappear? How are the deeds?

XXX is
by Milla
I have been in trauma for almost a week.
And so, for the future... if a man knows how to throw a sapphire shoulder better than knives – don’t try to fill his mouth! Even if it has a weight of 60 kg:

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №144278
 27.08.2017
X: I watched Valerian
A: And how then?
X: Just four-blade rage, not a movie
X: A real movie for children
X: This is an avatar with Carlson, but for children 12 years old
X: It seemed spectacular, but my eyes were blinking so many times that I almost fell asleep.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №144277
 27.08.2017
What is the “theory of seven hands”?
This is when the first pushes the hand to the second, the second then and so on until the seventh. And all seven are sitting on the toilet, because the first dysentery.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №144276
 27.08.2017
Goji: Hello to all! A recent case happened to me. If I had not left the phone at home, it would have been removed. And not any "specific"s, but ordinary mints.
I drank beer on the 1st of May. He drank well, but he did not rush. I remember everything beautifully. When I got home, I went three times. They were taken to Mentor. And one of the first questions (bringing them to the department) that they immediately asked was to present documents and their mobile phone. Interest in my person immediately disappeared when it became clear that neither of the one nor the other I had. And they let go, even without providing the promised "overnight". When I finally got home, I understood the reason for these arrests (Evrika!After leaving my cell phone at home, I forgot to remove the box from it. The jacket was rough, and the mint squeezed the case quickly, naturally assuming that there was a phone in it. If he really was there, I can say with absolute certainty – now I’t have him anymore. I am reluctantly reminded of their disappointment.
P.S You have so many policemen on the streets! Probably no criminals in your country at all"

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №144275
 27.08.2017
You shouldn’t argue on any subject with a man who claims he knows exactly that a plane is flying because he has wings.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №144274
 27.08.2017
and smart:

The water cars, finally waiting for the rain, all joyfully went to the streets of the city.

Exactly so. Mixing and washing out oxygenated dirt without raising clouds of dust in the center of the city is much easier. Or did you think they go out on the streets to water and create a pleasant fresh atmosphere for you? Divorced ridicules without the slightest desire to think with their brains.


[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №144273
 27.08.2017
We have an engineer Andrew at work. And then, one evening, Andrew was crushed. And already in the morning, the list of picked numbers, with horror and sick head sees that he called the boss. He calls him:

“Constantinovich, did I call you yesterday?

and called.

And what did I want?

I do not know. I do not understand extraterrestrials.

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №144272
 27.08.2017
Mother’s version: “Everyone around me took care of me, but I chose your father.”

Father’s version: “Your mother ran after me and had to get married.”

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №144271
 27.08.2017
Complementary

Disgrace and Children
I grew up in the USSR, where, as you know, there was no sex (in TV advertising). But we had movies <...> But for some reason it wasn’t considered propaganda of exhibitionism, pedophilia and lesbian relationships. At that time, the emphasis (including in these films) was made on something completely different.

In the "the" times there were many children's and adult films, where children's naked pops were completely quietly shown (and sometimes flashed and not only they) - plus the mentioned, for example, the "Party entrance is forbidden", where the boys were sighed in the urticaria. In the 'time' there was no'sex' in adults, and children and sex were not associated at all, so no one was very dark. Yes, the adults in the bathroom also blinked naked with five points. This is a bathroom, didn’t you know that it was washed naked? In "your" life is swimming naked? They are bathing. Films about life? About her. We will make a picture of the known life (and the city and the village), and the focus, indeed, will be on the soul, on the character, on the aspirations. And there was no such number of corrupt as at today’s 18+.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №144270
 27.08.2017
A documentary series in which a handmade craftsman mines fire by friction, crushes a cottage with a stone tail, builds a fireplace from homemade bricks, etc.
Comments: "Surely by the end of the season he will leave at sunset on a steam car!"

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №144269
 27.08.2017
Photo of the naked woman's back with a transition in roundness. Comments under the photo:
But I would suck.
Sickle on the back? However!
I am Esther.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №144268
 27.08.2017
English text, in the word "curved" ("a curved path") seal - "curoed". The translator improperly translates this as "trajectory in the form of a curyade".

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №144267
 27.08.2017
I came across a scientific article about the attractiveness of men. The essence of the article is that in the Russian Federation rule alpha male, not metrosexual. Source: North Caucasian Psychological Journal.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №144266
 27.08.2017
Over the years, the old films are getting better and the new ones get worse.

[ + 29 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №144265
 27.08.2017
I live in California, in a small town. My daughter was in 4th grade, she loves iron, shooters, boy clothes. The dress is worn a couple of times a year in the church, in visits, in theaters and then with battle. I only go to school in jeans and shirts. The hair is slightly shorter than the shoulder... in many ways it is the influence of her cousin, the son of my sister, he is slightly older. He lives in San Francisco, which is cool in itself, in addition, he is very tall, beautiful, terribly smart, participates in the Olympics, plays guitar. In short, our Sasha is proud of his brother and tries every way to be like him, wears all his T-shirts and hats and looks into his mouth (mostly on Skype, but daily :-) )
There are no Russians in our school.
And here suddenly from Norway comes a professor with his family, on the sabbatical, former Leningraders, their boy of the same age comes to our school. Our Sasha is urgently introduced to him by the director and asks for custody, as the boy's English is worse than Norwegian and Russian. Here the kids are playing, Sasha tells us something about a new friend every day... I already wanted to invite them to us, I spoke to a Norwegian mother... and she so touched me and said: and to us about your daughter the son never told us anything. I speak strangely, they are on all the changes together. And she: yes, no, he is a friend with a Russian boy, such a boy, they are called Sasha. I was surprised, I think, well worked out, missed out that the Russians have appeared long ago.

At home, I ask my daughter: what is your Russian boy Sasha? She says, “I don’t know... I was surprised, but I already binge guessed what was going on.

The next day I see a Norwegian mom, she’s laughing and says, “Our son came from school yesterday and tells us, ‘My friend Sasha said he’s a girl!’”

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna