Wife : MDA
Wife: Just my daughter (1 year) broke a box with beans!!!! As long as we gathered her child was delighted all!!!! When will I get used to it all?? to
I: What was I happy about?
Wife: Well, so many small details are scattered around the kitchen and Mom like a loophole collects!!! She gets out of the box and throws it back on the floor.
** by
I feel like a maid. She gave her a bottle and a bean...syaïidite folds the beans in a bottle)))

If your loved one starts on you continuously while preparing for the wedding that you don’t have a taste, you don’t understand anything about serving the table, that she’s ashamed of your relatives and friends – run, guy, run. This is just the beginning!!! to

At 7 a.m. at the stop:
Fuck, I barely slept.
WOW : Why?
Okay, what do you do when you discover at 2 o’clock at night that the neighbors on top have connected Wi-Fi and haven’t protected it with a password?
I would watch porn.
HH: It is...

The disadvantage of all schools is one: they don’t teach to learn.

A few days ago I saw an ad about Subaru cars on TV, and it reminded me of a story from my life.
I then lived in Washington, I worked in Maryland, and my wife was in Washington.
and Georgetown. Georgetown is the same Washington Arbat with its surroundings.
The area is extremely noble and fashionable. Fig only where you will find a parking place there on a working day. I had to go to work with my wife. Luckily, almost in front of her building, a free place on the parking meter was found. I am there, of course, right away. But here, there are no small things with you. I turned my eyes, like no punitive suppositories. Papers with cash in the wallet spoke, and right across the road - a mobile barracks with nipples. Well, I’m there: “Friend!” – I say to the black boy-seller of clearly Ethiopian origin – “Change, oh, I need to feed the parking meter!” – I exchanged three dollars without questions, and I ran back.

Fucking there, I didn’t have time. I crossed the road, and my
"Corsica" has already made the ash, and the child is broader, the penalty is issued.

I immediately told him:

No need for a penalty! I’m parking now, here’s the day.
Swapping through the road!

What there. This two-cent African-American miracle wasn’t something I couldn’t answer, it didn’t even look at me. He looked through me and continued to write out the penalty.

Yes, I was not upset, well, the fine and the penalty. What do you do with the coins, put them in your pocket now, right? Looking around, I see five cars standing with a red flag on the parking meter. Well, I jump to her. By this time, the storm parking driver had already finished spelling over my car, struck my penalty ticket under the yard, crashed into his three-wheeled ashes (how didn’t I just squeeze it?) I spit to the next victim. Only I managed to catch him before, and this strange parking meter fed the quarters. This is where the penitent finally noticed me. Well, it’s gently said, what I noticed, in fact. He even stunned me from my arrogance. I looked around, his mouth shaken and asked (children, his harsh black... well, you know which, slang I in Russian will not pass, of course, but it sounded like this):

Are you a man, is it your car?
Uncle, not my own! And I smile to him in response like a fool.
I look at the sides.

Exactly, in fifteen meters another unnourished car driver stands. And I run to her. It was earlier than that fool. When he rolled up, I just struck three coins, and, without giving the man his mouth open, ran to the next potential victim. And I put her coin in the parking meter, and I smile to my ears. Guys, you would see a penalty in this moment. No, if it wasn’t in Georgetown, and it wasn’t in the daylight, I’t be afraid, but what? I sit, smile and wait for what he says.
I heard at his address about the following:

“You, sir, you are what you are, man, you are what you are, I’m here at work, sir.
Who are you, who are you, who are you, who are you, who are you, who are you?

My brother’s brains were cursed.

“I am walking here, uncle,” I say, “and I’m helping you work, coins.”
I put it in the parking lot so you don’t get overworked.

The man of his three-wheeled ashes tears, and very harshly ordered me:

“Stand here,” he said, and let him drum on the radio station.
The commander, no other.

I stand, of course, I am interested. At this time, the penalty man on his rod is about the following dialogue (sorry, I hardly heard the answers):

Jordan, I have a situation. A gentleman prevents me from working.
He throws coins into all unpaid parking spaces.
and beaver! Sheshshshshsh! Who is Shish? Shash... Shash...
He was fined for delayed parking.
The number of his car... the number of his car... the number of his car... the number of his car... the number of his car... the number of his car... the number of his car...
This is something, what to do next?
Shish... spoo... nahu... shish, right beevevevev...

The officer turns to me:

You have your rights, sir.
- What right, uncle, I am not driving now, but you why?
I have to make a report, you are preventing me from working sir. Your name!
“Vova,” I say, “my name is Vova, and I will not give you the right, maybe you will give them the right.”
Steal from me. You are not a policeman.
I will call the police now!
– Uncle, call, of course, it’s boring or...

I don’t know how long this foolish conversation would have continued, but then the girl, whispering, ran straight to us, more precisely to her car. In the situation she did not immediately understand, so rushed with requests to this, to the big:

Sorry, I’m leaving now, I’m just a minute late.
Don’t write out the penalty, please, I’m throwing the coin now.

And the girl was funny - a small, black-haired, cuddly obviously, and in general, selfish. She was talking to this chief of the parking meters, all the time jumping from her leg to her leg, obviously she has all her life.
Ego, what to take from it?

I intervened here:

“Wowa,” I say to her, “I’m called so, in the sense. About your car.
Don’t worry, I’ve given you a coin. Say, you have yourself too.
Are there coins? Hold here again, and in her palm her rest of her
I’m going to see, there are still unpaid car parks?
Throw them a coin, please, or I'm time, and uncle's all
There will be less work.

The girl immediately crossed everything, roasted, showed the penalty goat, and moved to the next car, the parkometer to feed. Well, I also left, I needed my wife.

Here is about advertising. The advertisement I saw recently was literally the same. There Subaru-Impreza was praised, in the sense that he who loves Impreza loves everyone who rides on the same. And the essence of the plot is prosthetic - the guy in front of the penalty feeds the parking meter, and as it turns out, not his car. He himself sits in his "Impreza", standing in a row, and turns. A feeding foreign car, of course, is also Impreza. The penalty, indeed, does not very well out of the script, only shakes the shoulder, and the roar crumbles.

I wonder, these Subaru advertisers themselves all drowned out of their fingers, or is it my tiny hooliganism became American folklore?

Giving money to fight corruption is like giving vodka to fight drunkenness.

Momma: Zina's grandmother wakes up at 10 a.m., hopes up like a crazy man and says: "I'm late to work!" and she says: "You're 85 and you're not working." and she says: "Glory to you, Lord!" and falls on a pillow and sleeps until the hour of day.

I came to you with a greeting.
xxx: tell me that the whistle is up
XXX: Give me a coin!
Shit, I am tired!

While the shells were carried to the field, a legendary story occurred: near the Great Stone was the airfield of the coast guard helicopters, there was a naval infantry blockpost. In connection with the constant checking of who's eggs cooler, the marines tried to annoy land turtles. This is how we stopped our Ural with the tank ammunition we carried to the field. A lieutenant in the shape of a Marine Corps (HZ as they call this rank, in the land lieutenant) climbed to the turning lights, such as dirty.
While the oldest car agreed to pass, an emergency occurred.
The blockpost was a booth and a shlagbaum welded from a rail. While the high sides tried to agree on the road appeared a car (VAZ2101, at that time a normal car), when entering the shlagbaum, the penny crashed with the engine and crashed under the shlagbaum. The height of the railway was small, just on the cap. Schlagbaum cut the cabin, scattering the spark, the penny fell into the cage. When they got the sufferer, they found one of the helicopters of the nearest airfield in the state of groggie. The question is what X!! he replied, "I see the shlagbaum, well, I struck on myself and the twists..."

Pash, listen, you have a black name?
WOW: Well yes.
Call my son a coat! =) is
WOW : ))
XHH: Shake up, in school: "Black Coat, to the board!"

Dear young lady! Congratulations on your birthday!
I wish you in the new year of your life to finally find the fine line between extraordinary and fucking!

The case occurs in the communication salon, the grandfather falls, ancient, like a tyrannosaurus egg, in bifocal glasses. He begins to look around so carefully, like where I got... Well, fucking, the service is - I approach him "Good evening, what to suggest, ask..." 0 attention. I think it's okay, maybe it's too little, maybe it's just going to go away - guy, can you say a few words? I approached. Grandfather looks around so stealthy (sper the cabbage cabbage and is going to push me) and asks - you have it for sale. Oh no, sorry, I didn’t understand. Grandpa is so upset - you're a man, you know what I need? I’m sure you’re all here))))) grandfather – writers are there? ))))))))

<Namen> I was on vacation and I was in hospital.
<Namen> the doctor told me that I am, I quote "a real patient"
<Namen> pleasantly speaks to a real patient will talk, or walk all kinds of simulants
<Namen> I didn’t know how to rejoice or be sad

So, a car comes to me in the service, driving a comrade with large white letters of DPS in the back. Well, the machine is like a domestic machine, painted, but in the appearance of a candy, figuratively expressed. Well, I think, he is an honest, brave guard of the law, a machine like everyone else, and therefore not a briber. Word by word, the machine I do the conversation I lead and here we touch the wheels - winter is near. And he: yes, I have a lipstick on the lexus, and my wife put spikes on the cruiser... and this is so, to work to ride...
Z is. Bring it to Zadornov, he will be able to tell you funny.))))

XXX: What, you closed, they say
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
XXX is not lying.
YYY: I don’t know on Thursday, I’ll know.
XXX: Do you not work?
YYY :?
XXX: The letter
xxx on the keyboard
Do you press yourself? For religious reasons
Everything is normal
YYYY : :-)
XXX: Can I not press too?
YYY: Try the Time Exemit
XXX: What else can you do?
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
xxx is true! eprsthuen

I don’t like when a girl is late for a date for 24 hours. Then I begin to think that she may not come...

I’m in the car with a friend... I’m driving, he’s in the front passenger seat and instead of attaching his belt to his holder, he’s plugging it into mine. I also tried to do it, but unsuccessfully. The hole is occupied). The further dialogue:
You have stuck your hernia in my hole!
So take yours in my friends.
10 minutes to 10...

JS: It’s also good that the budget assembly itself was more like a mess with the owners of our entire chief.
JS: So even the neighboring hall was occupied by some sort of MLM or something like that.
JS: They were working in the team building, singing and shouting.
JS: I was seriously afraid of the nervous system of our financiers, when on virtually every statement of the shareholders in the style of the "boys, we are in the ass, no profits, no money", because of the wall was communicated bold "Urra, Urra, Urraaa!"

Well, yes, and a mouse in old age will give no one.

User: I have chat access to the innet lost

Is the internet fixed?
Used by: AGA
Admin: What to say?
User: Thank God