Or, here, there is another option... Go to a drunk woman and start waking her up. Shake, make a thoughtful face, and say, “I really need to talk to you, let’s go to the kitchen.” And when she, shaking her eyes from the bright light of the table lamp sits on the chair, looking straight in the eyes to start: "The Russian, German and French are arguing, who will not be messy for longer..."
Reply to Rodik Today at 00:06 #

BigBozz: which shit put in the accounting sort of a mini-shredder??? If before 17:00 he will not be cleaned from the pipifax and old pads, disinfected with alcohol and returned to the hall - I will find, fuck and shake up with a record in the tubo!

A long time ago in school, the teacher, as always, intimidating the class with an approaching exam, gave:
Even don’t think, at the exam you won’t be able to write off.On the party will lie only a clean sheet of paper, a pen and your head)))

In the fourth class of the native injure, we and the Americans drank. By three o’clock in the morning, they drank the second box of vodka. It should be noted that throughout the evening, out of the correctness of the host party, they spoke English. At three o'clock in the morning, one of the American guests woke up from the salad, listened to the speech at the table for a long time, and then in a quiet voice in pure Russian said: "You guys, let's speak Russian, right? And on international questioning views, he explained: - I seem to have forgotten the English..." No scene.
by Leone

Discussions are dangerous.
" By the way, after the first pursuit. As my comrade Vadim correctly noted, in order to leave the truck on a sports car, it was just... to leave.

She: I wonder what is missing in the body, when pulling on cabbage
It is sex :)
She: Do you think?
He is: Yes. Rabbits are like that.
He eats and goes on :)
She is *ROFL*

Here they asked what would happen if the cat looked in the eyes and said"MY".
I checked on my cat.
I was expecting that he... well, maybe he’d get upset with fear, crazy, or something like that...
And that shit struck me in the eye.
And then another foot in the other eye.

It is best to check your cat.

Wooster: The way she did it is too cool, Jives.
Almost perpendicular, sir.

Hangman
Nirvana doesn’t work, what a shit.
Romond
Welcome to the mysterious and beautiful world of programming.

Call from the accounting office:
— Maxim Grigoryevich, and you have not recently won a case with the company "HrenHuyStroj"?
I won, it was a matter.
We received the money by court decision. Two hundred and fifty thousand rubles. With pennies.
I am a good lawyer and I win cases.
Yes, it is okay. But they owe us only eighteen thousand rubles. And what do we do with the other two hundred and thirty? Maxime, I think you’ve overtaken this time.

The Prehistory:
My car after a small accident flew the sprayer on the headlights, now as a result, if you press the sprayer button - then the water will spray not a cool stream forward.
The story itself:
I was driving from school evil, and still in front of me on the crossing, when I was burning green, and he was red - a pedestrian came out. while he was all biking, slowly moved forward and pressed the spray... I think now he will not be so soon to get the drivers...
P.S I missed the pedestrians =)

ShpurloS: It is already known that the government plans to create a mail server for government needs in the new domain area. Analysts believe that creating its own mail server could cost the budget up to $20 million.
ShpurloS: sudo aptitude install postfix postfix-mysql mysql-server postfix-tls libsasl2-2 libsasl2-modules libsasl2-modules-sql sasl2-bin libpam-mysql openssl
ShpurloS: Where can I collect my 20 million?! to

Today I found a page in the contact of Captain Evidence. Curiously, a password is not a password. A complicated password is recommended. So I wrote a difficult password and entered.)

Dear Russian Government. for 20 million. The dollar. I personally can create a data center for you, whose production capacity will be sufficient to process and model the data obtained in Baku, there will still be money for a mail server for all residents of Mother Russia.

p.s
Citizens, the king does not know this, you have to help him.

Conversation between the two pianists:
1: - here is the name of you German, all normal people learn English, and you kill yourself... I don't understand
Fuck, you’ve gotten everything to touch me. I want to play Beethoven in the original!! to

Answer to:
Explain me how right: O_o or O_o?

Depends on the situation. If the shock went immediately (for example, someone jumped out of the corner), then first a large "O" is written, and then a small one.
If the situation at first glance seems normal and only when thinking there is a surprise, then the first "o" - small.

Posting in contact; guy xxx in the army

I've been here for a long time and noticed his beautiful green shape!))) It’s not a masquerade 😉

XXX is not masquerade. it is completely imperceptible against the background of the same dwarfs ><

Friends with honey:
Today, the practice was broken with laughter! Under a microscope, each of us looked at his own saliva.
Suddenly the voice of Yulia:"There is something moving!"
Everyone is silent, the professor approaches, looks into the microscope, and, relentlessly says: “This is definitely a living sperm.” I think Yulia would rather die ;)

It is worth taking a nick, for example, vovan1982, so that most think they know your name and age.
Anna, 21 years old

I am a PHP programmer. I sit and write tonight.
Wife: What do I think you don’t work there and you’re trembling with someone?
I: What is it for?
Wife: The keys knock too often, you don’t burst anything under your nose, you don’t periodically mate.
I am O_O